The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Henry Blodget, who's a pretty smart dude, says the TV industry is headed down the same path as newspapers, and there is "no way" to save its business model, which will inevitably crumble in the face of the internet's superiority. Crikey. What about moving Nightline to the 10 p.m. slot? Would that do it?

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Things in the magazine industry may be getting slightly less apocalyptic! A new five-year forecast predicts that ad revenue will start rising again by 2013. Four-More-Years! Yes.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.A magazine called Sang Bleu is billed as "possibly the most highbrow publication ever devoted to tattooing." Among the editor's own tattoos: "a tribute to Georgia O'Keeffe that I tattooed myself on top of my left ankle." Yep, he qualifies.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Boston Globe "bargaining" update: union officials put off a meeting with the National Labor Relations Board because they're still bargaining with NYT Co. officials about the 23% pay cut. What's taking so long? "There's only so many ways you can get to $10 million without hurting people," a union official says. Hey, if there is one way to do so, that would be a win.

Rule Number Uno: No one respects a celebrity tattoo. 1. Our celebs are being torn down/everyone's a celebrity somewhere, so who cares? Only you, unfortunately. 2. Heaven forbid you actually run into that celeb of your dreams with a tattoo of their face on your arm. Talk about blowing your chance for romance. 3. What if your celebrity has a meltdown and starts calling everyone in the room the n-word (not "negro") and you're left with a bigot on your arm? Well, I guess in places where people get Kramer tattoos that might actually be pretty sweet.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Rule #2: Tattoos are not photogenic. These types of tats may be ridiculous, but they engender more sympathy from normals since they obviously come from a good place: I love you, wife! I love you, baby girl! Who wants to hate on that? Alas, the vision in your mind is most likely not obstructed by hair, blemishes, pimples, etc that require constant maintenance. Also, she looks like a horror movie promotional trailer now. Pass. The skin is not an ideal canvas, keep the photo-realistic art on paper.

Rule # 3: No penises (uh, NSFWeekend?), period.. Ok, we get it, peens make you giggle. Or they make you edgy. But constant looking at one often makes you vomit; that's why most BJs happen in the dark. Not that you would know with your penis tattoo driving all the prospective BJs away. No matter how you dress it, no penis-tat will ever make you "lucky". (btw, looking at this book and gallery, there are a lot of penis tattoos out there. Too many. It probably demands a New Yorker-style sprawling deconstructing-of-process investigation. Maybe a freelance project for Dan and the Mrs.? But until such a cover story is commissioned, do keep the penises behind clothed doors.)

Rule #4: All the funny text shit? Dead it. These readable-tats are particularly fascinating because they often show true flashes of genius. Oh, but I just forgot to italicize the "flashes" part of that statement. Because after the flash, or brainfart, such genius is challenged by the irrepressible idiocy of making this moment permanent. There are real existential issues at odds here, people. Discuss.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.Rule #5:Never get high on your own supply. Well I really just wanted to include that lyric at the end here, but I could care less if you use the drugs that you purchased in bulk, or if you just sell them. To people before they get tattoos. But this dolphin smoking a bong in a recliner does seem to demonstrate the concept neatly.

Photos courtesy of: Aviva Yael. To see more of "The Best, Worst, and Most @#$%ing Ridiculous Tattoos Ever, buy the book!

This comment, purportedly from Kari's father, was left on the Delicate Condition blog:

I am Kari's father. She was adopted in Arizona from Korea when she was 5 months old and we later moved to Utah with my job. Kari was a very bright child probably too smart reading 7th grade level when she started first grade. She got everything she wanted as a child, when you adopt a child you want them to have everything. She was in gymnastics, band, t-ball and many other activities. She had a very spoiled upbringing. I have no idea how she turned out this way, but I hope she gets help and whatever treatment is needed. Kari if you're reading this turn yourself in. I love you.

Here, it's Kari's famous "I Love Beards" tat! [We got one tip that said, simply, "my friend grew a beard for her because it was her 'last dying wish' that he do so"]. A beard advocate from Bearduary tells us: "Kari shot a photo project at the Bearduary end party. Pretty much her hip tattoo next to a bunch of bearded faces. I do not think she ripped anyone off that night just shot her photos and left. Kari claimed that she had a coffee table book coming out through vice of those photos." Alas, this is the closest that book will come to fruition. This fine tipster also forwards this, an email he says Kari sent to him, which includes the infamous "hot dog down my hallway" phrase in its full contextual glory:

"I am looking for a boy to allow me to be his beard,
if you know what I mean. Basically, I need someone
to toss their hot dog down my hallway, while I sing
theme songs from syndicated television programs
from the late 70's, early 80's.
If you think you (or a friend) are up to the challenge, let's convene on the interwebs."

-Korean Abdul-Jabbar

"she told me she didn't have facebook but showed me her myspace page and her favorite group, which was pictures of rookie major league baseball players with mustaches," says the guy who sent in this picture. Poignant.


These photos are from Kari's Photobucket account, which is a treasure trove of her active lifestyle.

Finally, we'll call this Kari's film debut. This is a clip from Joshua Heller which is a "pilot" for "Mini Sex Cops," a show some dudes got drunk and came up with and then videotaped themselves talking about. Our hero appears at the 1:20 mark in the clip.

Mini Sex Cops from JoshuaHeller on Vimeo.

In perhaps the most notorious example of a suddenly superfluous tattoo, Johnny Depp had "Winona Forever" inked onto his arm in a tribute to then-fiancée Winona Ryder. Depp eventually had his tattoo changed to read "Wino Forever," eschewing the somewhat more enigmatic, possibly golf-related "Win a Fore."


Jude Law quoted the Beatles in a forearm tattoo honoring wife Sadie Frost: "You came along to turn on everything, Sexy Sadie." The two divorced after six years of marriage, and Law has covered up the lyric with a tattoo of a heart.


As soon as Juno was released, Oscar-winning screenwriter Diablo Cody announced that she was single and looking to mingle with all eligible homeskillets by inking over her husband's name.


Instead of covering up her "Billy Bob" tattoo, Angelina Jolie simply had it lasered off after she split up with Billy Bob Thornton. In response, Jennifer Aniston finally rubbed off a Magic Marker tribute to Tate Donovan on her inner thigh.


Tom Arnold had a variety of terrifying Roseanne-related tattoos inflicted onto his body when the two were married, including one on his hindquarters. All four tattoos have reportedly been lasered off; we are declining to look for visual proof and will take him at his word.


When Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee split, she had her ring finger tattoo modified from "Tommy" to "Mommy." No word on whether Lee was able to cover up the "Pamela" he had tattooed onto his penis; if there are any groupies out there with Hep C and stories about a schlong scrawled with "Penisla," let us know.

• Josh Holloway Not so Cool in Water [Pacific News Coast]

Even though more than a third of youngsters now have tats, it's occurred to the marketing geniuses that the untapped, un-inked market is huge! Sure, teenagers all have Chinese characters spelling out "I AM GAY" (don't tell them!), but what about timid suburban middle-aged moms? Enter several new investor-owned chains of mall-based tattoo shops, where anyone will feel perfectly safe getting a star on their butt while their husband browses the Sports Authority:

So far, some traditional mall customers have responded well to the tattoo parlors. Geralyn Stanley, a 32-year-old high-school art teacher and mother of two young girls, wanted a tattoo but was leery of patronizing traditional parlors. When she came across the white-tiled, rock-music-playing Tattoo Nation in the Woodbridge Center Mall, she felt more at ease — so much so that she has gotten three tattoos in the past year. On one visit, she brought along her mother, a 52-year-old librarian, who got her first tattoo.

This is happening in Vegas, Beverly Hills, Staten Island, and Jersey. I guess they deserve it. [WSJ]

Boomp3.com

Before heading off to a delicious brunch with a friend, Elizabethtown star Orlando Bloom tried to recall the events of the prior night and how he ended up with a sun tattoo on his belly. Bloom’s night started with a simple game of backgammon before heading off to Ye Olde Kings Head for a quick pint with a friend, and then Bloom’s memories become hazy at best. Bloom recalls eating slices of pizza that were as long as his arm and bacon wrapped street dogs, but it could’ve been something from a script he recently read. Bloom does recall waking up in the morning sprawled out on a sofa with a piece of Saran Wrap on his stomach. After much thought, Bloom decided to keep the sweet piece of ink since it will fit in within his overall tough guy make over.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Mistah hipstah. He dead.

As you can see by my Harriet the Spy tattoo, I embrace the child in me and bite my thumb during sex.

Oh dear.

[Contrariwise]

What's the deal with Brad's new tattoo?
I drew that. We went to Davos. It's not that we were bored at the World Economic Forum, but one night we didn't have anything to do, so I was drawing on his back.

So it's not permanent?
It is. But I was just sketching.

On him?
On him, yeah.

And you thought, ''Let's make it a tattoo''?
He just liked it! The picture everybody saw was kind of awkward, but it just lines up beautifully on his back, just enhances the part of the body I like.

So it doesn't mean anything per se.
I mean, it's meaningful in that it's us making angles and shapes out of each other's body, that kind of a thing.

There you have it: It was the product of erotic body-doodling—just one of the couple's literally hundreds of time-killing activities when stranded in a luxury suite. As frivolous as it sounds, these are the kinds of things one must resort to when you're too too famous to even wander into a hotel lobby, for fear of being mobbed by locals hoping you might want to add one of their excess, goes-with-anything Swiss children to your growing collection.

• Angelina Jolie: A Candid Q&A [EW]

[Photo Credit: Splash News Online]

• Brad Pitt Flys With His Boys [Just Jared]

At 61, Susan's complete lack of wrinkles or droopage on her face normally leads to speculation on whether or not she, like so many of her peers, has gone under the knife once or twice. But as she explained to reporters at last month's Speed Racer premiere, "I never say never...It's when people start looking like somebody else, their lips start to get weird, or they are younger looking at 65 than they were at 30 and they have that burn victim terrified look, that's just bad taste." Not to mention the fact that Sarandon has another secret to maintaining her youthful appearance the natural way: "I have a young husband." Oh, Susan. We officially crown you Queen of the Cougars.

[Photo credits: Getty, Daily Mail]

• 'WHY IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO GO UNDER THE TATTOOIST'S NEEDLE' SAYS ACTRESS SUSAN SARANDON, 61 [Daily Mail]