Leaked Paramount Memo Shows That All the Movies Coming Out Will Be Bad

The story: A Paramount exec sent an email to a coworker, it was intercepted by Sharon Waxman's Nikke Finke voodoo doll The Wrap, and now everyone has it. Basically it lays out their upcoming slate of movies, and it's bleak.
Taylor Lautner Explains Why Werewolves are Always Shirtless
Last night Taylor Lautner, who plays every teenager's favorite minimally clothed brooding mythical creature in the Twilight saga, dropped by David Letterman's couch to explain the intricate scientific theory behind why werewolves are always shirtless.
Mark Consuelos to Twilight Fans: "Get a Grip"
Today on Live! Kelly's husband Mark Consuelos joked with Taylor Lautner about what we all want to say to fanatic Twilight fans: get a grip. To be fair, we can understand four-year-olds and teenagers—but Twi-Moms...?
The Twilight Premiere: A Virtual Party Report
We were too busy eating self-serve frozen yogurt last night to bother with the premiere of Twilight. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was on the West Coast to report back. For a change, she wasn't the most wasted one there.
What People Waiting in Line for an iPhone Can Learn from Twilight Fans
Those sitting out in the sun today for a new iPhone might have waited hours or overnight. They are wimps. Twilight fans have been camped out since Monday for tonight's premiere. They will show you how it's done!
Robert Downey Jr. Is the Wizard of Oz
Or he could be! In a movie. Also today: You Lauren Graham fans will have reason to celebrate, another British TV show gets dragged over to the States, a new food channel, and Curb Your Enthusiasm enthusiasm.
Natalie Portman Wants to Take a Drug-filled Roadtrip with You
Natalie Portman makes a road trip film about drugs. Drugs could null Charlie Sheen's contract. Drew Barrymore is a whalehugger. Zoolander 2 is on the move. Winter storm warning: The Trade roundup is expected to bring 5-10 inches of AWESOME.
Kate Winslet Is the Depression-Era Mother We Never Had
Kate Winslet will play a single mother. Taylor Lautner is causing fights. Twilight gets sliced in two. Kevin Costner? He's just chillin', starring in a new WWII pick. The Roundup just won $5 on a scratch ticket. It's buying another!
Happy Birthday
Jennifer Aniston turns 41 today (even though she celebrated the occasion last weekend with Gerard Butler). The woman who could have been a heartbeat away from becoming president, still thinks she has a chance in 2012, and whose name we cannot even type without feeling nauseous, is turning 46. Sheryl Crow is 48. Brandy…
The First Week of the Rest of Avatar's Life
Avatar is finally dethroned, but Sam Worthington is on his way up. Do you want Wheel of Fortune in 3D? Henry Winkler has a new role, and Valentine's Day gets a pre-release sequel. Welcome to a very super Trade Roundup.
• It's a new day at Condé Nast. The mag giant's chief exec, Chuck Townsend, has gone from firing staffers to giving them motivational speeches. [NYO]
• In Touch's editor quit yesterday, reportedly because he wasn't happy that his bosses wouldn't agree to increase his $750,000-a-year salary. [NYP]
• Is MSNBC's Ed…
A-Rod Moves On; The Last Days of Casey Johnson
• Kate Hudson was supposedly holding out hope that she and Alex Rodriguez would reunite one day soon. But it looks like it may be time for Kate to let the dream die. A-Rod's new flame is a "gorgeous blonde" who he met at a gym in Miami. [P6]
• In happier celebrity couple news—and after months of schmoopy public…
Taylor Lautner Makes So Much Money
Well! Nikki Finke has a good scoop today: 17 year-old Taylor Lautner is getting $7.5 million for starring in the upcoming Tom Cruise vehicle "Northern Lights". Young, talented and richer than you. How's your coffee? Ours is kinda bitter...
