Ted Turner Only Wrote Book for More Chances to Bash Time Warner

Ted Turner: simultaneously a crazy old coot and a totally awesome and admirable ex-media mogul! The CNN founder is out promoting his new autobiography, which gives him a chance to go on and on and on about his pet grudge, the scalawags at Time Warner who blew up his fortune by merging with AOL. Dude, it was only seven billion. Let it go! Here he is on David Letterman talking about how CNN sucks these days, without him, Ted Turner, around. Ted, we sincerely want you to come back, you crazy, crazy wild man. It would be great for us. He was also interviewed at the Time/Life building today, where he talked about nothing but how much Time Warner sucks (and prairie dogs): More »

Why Rupert Murdoch Had Ted Turner Tailed

Had Ted Turner's old rival Rupert Murdoch just issued an "autobiography" written by a former lieutenant, as Ted Turner has, one suspects it would not have been embraced so eagerly by sympathetic journalists at 60 Minutes, the Times, the Wall Street Journal and even AP, which meditated whimsically on the CNN founder's chapter titles. Maybe that's because the News Corporation chairman still enjoys the blood sport of media feuds in his old age, coordinating multi-outlet attacks on relative small fry like Keith Olbermann, while Turner is in the business of moving on — and making plenty of media friends in the process. He has forgiven Murdoch for what he suspects was the hiring of private investigators to prove him insane in the 1980s, as he explains in the attached 60 Minutes clip, and put behind him the loss of $7 billion, a devastating divorceand a bad prescription for Lithium. More »

Ted Turner: Polio Just Not As Sexy As AIDS

CNN's coverage this morning of the Clinton Global Initiative featured a wacky live interview with CNN mastermind, United Nations bankroller and possibly compulsive wife-stealer Ted Turner. His inquisitor, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, was clearly pained by the experience. Their conversation included gems from Turner like, "It's the seventh inning and humanity's down two runs!" and "Polio's not as sexy right now as HIV/AIDS or measles or malaria." (Um, the Clinton global public health folks might not sign on to this sentiment!) Also? Ted's sporting some seriously ill-advised facial hair, but it's not like he cares what people think or anything. We can't decide if we want someone to pay him to stay away from the cameras, because maybe he should just have his own crazy public access show?

Indiana Jones And The Can Of Delicious Japanese Beer

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We're adding "Ted Turner's publicist" to the list of jobs we could not be paid enough to take. Says Ted to his minder during an interview: "I DON'T NEED YOU FOR THAT! YOU'RE JUST AN OLD PUSSY! YOU'RE JUST AN OLD PUSSY! YOU'RE JUST A LITTLE MOTHER HEN. [in falsetto] "WE'VE GOTTA DO THIS! WE'VE GOTTA DO THAT!" [back to regular voice] THIS IS IMPORTANT! THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT!" Wow, he kisses Robert Olen Butler's ex-wife with that mouth? [HuffPo]

'Jealous Husband Returns In The Form Of A Parrot' By Robert Olen Butler

Sure, we all know that Robert Olen Butler is the Pulitzer-winning author whose author wife, Elizabeth Dewberry, just left him to become one of media mogul Ted Turner's girlfriends, prompting him to pen the nuttiest email of all time. But how familiar are we all with his award-winning work? Maybe some excerpts from this short story, which first appeared in the New Yorker in 1995, would be a good primer. It is about what you think: a man turns into a parrot, is purchased as a pet by his wife, and is forced to watch her cavort around the house with her new lover. More »

Robert Olen Butler Says His Mass Email Was 'Intended Strictly For Those Who Personally Know Elizabeth And Me'

So! Jilted author Robert Olen Butler isn't happy that yesterday we published the email he sent to his grad students. You know, the email that began "this sort of thing can get wildly distorted pretty quickly. You can feel free to use any part or all of this email to do so," and in which he explained exactly why his wife was leaving him for Ted Turner (she was abused by her grandpa!). In his email to us, he sounded steamed! More »

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