According to reports, Bill Clinton was visibly disturbed today to learn that a teenager had stolen his face and switched it with another one.

Something really messed up is happening, and I cannot believe everyone is like, so blasé about this, which is a word I learned from this pretty cool guy Liam I was talking to over the summer when I went on a teen tour in Nice, where I lived for literally a month without any adults just counselors who were only like…

Last night it was time for the women to sing for their beautiful, diamond-encrusted supper. How'd they do? Ohh, you know, this is the Season of Horrors, so not terribly well. But not terribly, either.