“The same brain circuits that are activated by eating chocolate and winning money are activated when teenagers see large numbers of ‘Likes’ on their own photos.” Why can’t these narcissistic teens just eat Snickers bars at slot machines, as we did in simpler times?
The Worst Movie of the Year Is This Russian Educational Video About “Dumpster” Women
Here’s a fun video about the dangers of sleeping with non-virgin women because they’re “dumpsters” permanently full of “genes” from previous sex partners. This is a video that a teacher in southern Russia thought would be cool to show his eighth graders, Meduza reports.
Behold the Insufferable Twerp That Is Young Ted Cruz
“Take over the world, world domination...rich, powerful, that sort of stuff,” said 18-year-old Ted Cruz, when asked what he wanted to do with his life.
Teens May Be Evolving to Become Ruder
Teens: America’s greatest danger. Whether roughhousing, vandalizing things, or making snide remarks, groups of teens are reliable terrors. We must now confront the possibility that teens are growing even bolder.
Robin Thicke Had the Saddest Christmas of All
Robin Thicke reportedly ended this year the same way he began it: getting drunk with a teenager.
Teen Fooled New York Magazine, Confirms Teen Dominance Worldwide
[UPDATE 12/16/14 9:22 a.m.]: As of late Monday evening, it was confirmed by the New York Observer that Mohammed Islam, alleged genius teen who had supposedly amassed $72 million by trading stocks, was actually a penniless liar who magnificently rolled everyone. "It's a total fiction?" Islam was asked. "Yes."…
Who Is Alex From Target, and Why Is Teen Twitter Obsessed With Him?
Teen Twitter (the most powerful force in the universe) has been hit by a bomb, and that bomb's name is Alex From Target. Who is this ordinary Target checkout guy, and why is Teen Twitter obsessed with him? Read on for more.
Worthless Teens Can't Even Change a Freaking Tire
Look at it. It's a tire. It's just a wheel on a car that you drive all the time. If it's flat, who's going to change it? Me and your mother? Learn something, for chrissake.
Middle School Declares Trans Teen Can't Attend as Female
Rachel Pepe, a 13-year-old in Middletown, N.J. who transitioned over the summer from being identified as Brian, has been told by an official at her school district that her gender transition will not be recognized and no accommodations will be made for her when the school year begins again.
Report: Cool Kid Trespassers Broke Into House, Baked Some Drug Brownies
Police say that two teenagers in the Philadelphia suburbs broke into an area home in July, and weren't satisfied with just the one crime. While lurking around a house that didn't belong to them, they decided to cook up some "drug brownies" for kicks.
Teenagers Track Down Fake Nurse Who Stole a Baby From a Hospital
A woman who dressed up like a nurse and stole a 16-hour-old baby from a hospital yesterday was arrested after a group of Canadian youths tracked her down.
The Instant Rise and Nearly Instant Fall of the Vine Idol Roadshow
Somewhere in Freehold, N.J., hundreds of teen girls were screaming.
James Franco Went on SNL to Joke About Trying to Sleep with Teenagers
The James Franco Did He or Didn't He Try to Sleep with a Teenage Girl, and Do We Really Care? story is entering its second phase: parody.
Have You Had an Excruciating Conversation About Porn With Your Teen?
Naked men. Naked women. Naked dogs. All together, on the internet, fucking one another. As a parent, you know that your teen has probably watched thousands of hours of online M-F-Dog porn. But have you talked to them about it yet?
Teenager Dies Saving His Girlfriend From an Oncoming Train
A teenage boy died saving his girlfriend from an oncoming train as the pair walked on the train tracks near their California school Friday.
What Time Should School Start?
Teenagers whining about getting out of bed for school in the morning are actually on to something. High school start times are an outrageous burden. For the grownups, most of all.
Teen Accidentally Swallows Blowdart While Attempting YouTube Dare
Three hospital visits and one blowdart-removed-from-his-throat later, a teenager finally learned the valuable lesson that accepting YouTube challenges is not always the best idea.
"19 Reasons Why 19 Is The Most Formative Year of Your Life." #7: "Robert Frost's The Road Less Travelled is now not a nonconformist manifesto, but instead a chilling dose of existential reality. *If you haven't read it, do so now."
Two Teens Cleared of Felony Charges in Bullying Case
Two Florida girls, one 13 and one 14, have had felony charges dropped in a bullying case that sprang up following 12-year-old Rebecca Sedwick's suicide in September. In an interview with Today, 13-year-old Katelyn Roman expressed relief at the decision and said, "I do not feel l did anything wrong."
