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New York, 2:34 PM
Wed Nov 25
49 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #teens more →

    Essex House Murder Gets Tenuous Celebrity Angle

    Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of kimsama kimsama
    09/22/09

    In reply to Essex House Murder Gets Tenuous Celebrity Angle
    Whoa, wait a minute..."the drama...debuts tonight"? Are TV execs ordering up hits so that they can shill their shows in newspaper crime stories, now?

    And some say America has lost its spirit of ingenuity!
     Reply
    kimsama was starred kimsama was unstarred
    Image of BowlingForDollars BowlingForDollars
    09/22/09

    @kimsama: Yeah, that's a whole other level than Kanye and Taylor Swift. Damn.
     Reply
    BowlingForDollars was starred BowlingForDollars was unstarred
    Image of ampersandparade ampersandparade
    09/22/09

    In reply to Essex House Murder Gets Tenuous Celebrity Angle
    Yes, now that they've nabbed Ahmadinejad, their PR problems are behind them. What a coup!
     Reply
    ampersandparade was starred ampersandparade was unstarred
    Image of Lulubell Lulubell
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    Maybe I'm missing something, but how, exactly, do you soak a tampon and then insert it? Or is that not what is happening here?
     Reply
    Trai_Dep promoted this comment Lulubell was starred Lulubell was unstarred
    Image of Charlotte Rae's Web Charlotte Rae's Web
    08/26/09

    @Lulubell: I'm confused on that point too. Like shoving an oyster in a coin slot.
     Reply
    Trai_Dep promoted this comment Charlotte Rae's Web was starred Charlotte Rae's Web was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    08/26/09

    @Lulubell: They probably use the same technique used to infuse vodka in a watermelon.
    Simply insert a full bottle into the opening, flip it upside-down, then wait several hours until it all soaks in.
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of Lulubell Lulubell
    08/26/09

    @Trai_Dep: Because that would not be at obvious in middle school.
     Reply
    Lulubell was starred Lulubell was unstarred
    Image of SidAndFinancy SidAndFinancy
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    It's even worse when you get outside of Phoenix.
    They're drinking Falstaff in Flagstaff.
    Licking toads in Grasshopper Junction.
    Drinking Vicks 44 in Vicksburg.
    Hotboxing in Steamboat Canyon.
    Shotgunning Zima in Yuma.
    Smoking rock in Marble Canyon.
    Shoveling mounds of snow in Santa Claus.
    Getting vodka colonics in Cyclopic.
    And you can write a whole book about what they're doing in Holbrook.
    If they don't clean up their acts, these kids are either going to end up in Casa Grande or Tombstone.
     Reply
    SidAndFinancy was starred SidAndFinancy was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    08/26/09

    @SidAndFinancy: And cornholing in Corpus Christi!
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of kookla kookla
    08/26/09

    @SidAndFinancy: I hear in Ypsilanti
    They don't wear any panties...
     Reply
    kookla was starred kookla was unstarred
    Image of o-line o-line
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    When did Jon Gosselin grow sideburns and trade his Ed Hardy for a Che?
     Reply
    lobstr promoted this comment o-line was starred o-line was unstarred
    Image of lobstr lobstr
    08/26/09

    @o-line: ...and have his Asian surgically removed?

    :p
     Reply
    lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred
    Image of Foster Kamer Foster Kamer
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    Actually, Arizona kids are pretty fucked up. I was in a youth group region of Vegas, Arizona, and Salt Lake City. You'd think the Vegas kids or the SLC kids would be the most deeply disturbed, but no: the Arizona kids got away with everything. Like their parents were zombies, or something. They were never there. It was...kind of amazing. They were also the lab rats of all synthetic drugs coming through that region of the country, so, at least it came in handy.
     Reply
    Edited by Foster Kamer at 08/26/09 11:14 AM Foster Kamer was starred Foster Kamer was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    I remember in Juliette by the Marquis de Sade, there's an episode where they perform a black mass in a church, and the Catholic bretheren perform an enema on a priest with the consecrated wine. I'm mentioning this because the way the alcohol enema story comes out in the aforementioned novel is quite different from how Stephanie Siete (please click through, trust me) describes the effects of anal bonging beer. I really am confused. Should I believe the Marquis de Sade or Nicole Beyer (from Channel 15 in Phoenix) and Stephanie Siete?
     Reply
    Edited by i'm a bottle at 08/26/09 11:14 AM i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of dandles dandles
    08/26/09

    @i'm a bottle: You're taking the word of a Phoenix journalist over the Marquis de Sade? Please!
     Reply
    i'm a bottle promoted this comment dandles was starred dandles was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    08/26/09

    @dandles: In this situation, I'm with you on this one. The only word I trust in reporting on drug scares sweeping our nation's youth is the CBS affiliate in South Bend, Indiana that recommended smelling kids' breath every night before they go to bed to make sure they weren't huffing jenkem.
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    Why can't they just DRINK the alcohol and furiously suck a handful of Tic-Tacs before submitting to a parental breath sniff, as their parents no doubt did before them? Much safer and easier...
    Kids, don't bother reinventing the wheel.
     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    08/26/09

    @City_Dater: Wouldn't that burn the youngs' hoohahs? It's very delicate and sensitive, I would not put 80-proof alcohol in there.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of mfnher mfnher
    08/26/09

    @City_Dater: I think it has something to do with the fact that you can't casually drink vodka in certain places. This method would allow you to get drunk without anyone having to know.
     Reply
    mfnher was starred mfnher was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    08/26/09

    @City_Dater: @Bookish: Also, wouldn't you still be able to smell the alcohol on their breath after the anal bonging or the tampon...er, insertion? Sure, they wouldn't smell like beer, wine, whiskey or whatever, but alcohol would still exit through the lungs.
     Reply
    i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
    Image of Conchie Birdie Conchie Birdie
    08/26/09

    @City_Dater: Eh, I would opt for the spoonful of peanut butter over the handful of tic-tacs. Works much better to mask the smell of dubra.
     Reply
    Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred
    Image of irishflyesq irishflyesq
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    This looks a lot like my mid-to-late 90's dorm rooms. Except we had Irish flags and Union Jack t-shirts, for some reason.
     Reply
    irishflyesq was starred irishflyesq was unstarred
    Image of badasscat badasscat
    08/26/09

    @irishflyesq: That's like having an Israeli flag and wearing a PLO t-shirt.
     Reply
    badasscat was starred badasscat was unstarred
    Image of irishflyesq irishflyesq
    08/26/09

    @badasscat: Yes, and though we went to a predominantly Irish school, no one was ever knowledgeable enough to point out this poor juxtaposition.
     Reply
    irishflyesq was starred irishflyesq was unstarred
    Image of Schadenfriend Schadenfriend
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    I moved to Arizona because I found Florida too classy.
     Reply
    irishflyesq promoted this comment Schadenfriend was starred Schadenfriend was unstarred
    Image of irishflyesq irishflyesq
    08/26/09

    @Schadenfriend: And I moved to Long Island because I couldn't keep up intellectually with the brain trust on Staten Island.
     Reply
    irishflyesq was starred irishflyesq was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    Can't they just huff glue and dry hump like regular kids? Jesus, Arizona, don't get above your raisin'.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of SidAndFinancy SidAndFinancy
    08/26/09

    @BookishLookish: Kids?
     Reply
    SidAndFinancy was starred SidAndFinancy was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    08/26/09

    @SidAndFinancy: I know at 15 you were going out for smart cocktails and Parker-esque banter, my dear, but some of us were listening to the Ramones.
     Reply
    Edited by BookishLookish at 08/26/09 2:24 PM BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of allyzay allyzay
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    When I lived in Arizona as a teenager, everyone just did crystal meth like respectable people -- what the hell happened?!
     Reply
    allyzay was starred allyzay was unstarred
    Image of Slackferno Slackferno
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    Please understand that the assload of crazy coming out of Arizona of late is concentrated to the giant puss-filled zit in the middle of the state that is Phoenix. Much of the rest of the state is populated with perfectly sane hippies (Sedona) and recently unstarred Gawker commenters (Tucson.)
     Reply
    Slackferno was starred Slackferno was unstarred
    Image of bboston88 bboston88
    08/26/09

    @Slackferno: Word! Sedona and Tucson do not like to be associated with the plastic, wannabe-LA Snottsdale crowd.
     Reply
    mfnher promoted this comment bboston88 was starred bboston88 was unstarred
    Image of mfnher mfnher
    08/26/09

    @bboston88: Please. I live in Scottsdale, and it's fine. What isn't fine are all the jerks from Chandler, Ahwatukee and the West Side that come over here in droves on the weekends to act like assholes. If Scottsdale is so bad, why does every person flock here on a Saturday night? A lot of us are real people, not the asshats that come in from other parts of the Valley to make us look bad.
     Reply
    Edited by mfnher at 08/26/09 1:39 PM mfnher was starred mfnher was unstarred
    Image of wrongneighborhood wrongneighborhood
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    I feel need to somehow defend my home state.

    We have pretty sunsets. And a lizard that shoots blood from its eyes.

    That's all I have.
     Reply
    Edited by wrongneighborhood at 08/26/09 10:31 AM wrongneighborhood was starred wrongneighborhood was unstarred
    Image of Perhaps Not Perhaps Not
    08/26/09

    @wrongneighborhood: I'm a-movin' to Tempe!
     Reply
    Perhaps Not was starred Perhaps Not was unstarred
    Image of m4ximusprim3 m4ximusprim3
    08/26/09

    @wrongneighborhood: and you guys gave kurt warner another shot after the rams! That's something.

    Then again, maybe he was just there for the ass tampons.
     Reply
    Edited by m4ximusprim3 at 08/26/09 12:39 PM m4ximusprim3 was starred m4ximusprim3 was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    08/26/09

    In reply to Arizona Children as Young as 12 Think Vodka Red Bull Anus Tampons Are 'Cool'
    Um, HamNo, I'm gonna go ahead and say that in that picture it really must be you. And let me also say that Denton isn't paying you guys nearly enough if you have an old Magnavox, are drinking copious amounts of Red Stripe, and what is that a Sega joystick?!

    Wait, Denton's in the picture too, isn't he? Cowboy boots and tapered jeans...a dead give away if I ever saw one.
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
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