@Lulubell: They probably use the same technique used to infuse vodka in a watermelon.
Simply insert a full bottle into the opening, flip it upside-down, then wait several hours until it all soaks in.
It's even worse when you get outside of Phoenix.
They're drinking Falstaff in Flagstaff.
Licking toads in Grasshopper Junction.
Drinking Vicks 44 in Vicksburg.
Hotboxing in Steamboat Canyon.
Shotgunning Zima in Yuma.
Smoking rock in Marble Canyon.
Shoveling mounds of snow in Santa Claus.
Getting vodka colonics in Cyclopic.
And you can write a whole book about what they're doing in Holbrook.
If they don't clean up their acts, these kids are either going to end up in Casa Grande or Tombstone.
Actually, Arizona kids are pretty fucked up. I was in a youth group region of Vegas, Arizona, and Salt Lake City. You'd think the Vegas kids or the SLC kids would be the most deeply disturbed, but no: the Arizona kids got away with everything. Like their parents were zombies, or something. They were never there. It was...kind of amazing. They were also the lab rats of all synthetic drugs coming through that region of the country, so, at least it came in handy.
I remember in Juliette by the Marquis de Sade, there's an episode where they perform a black mass in a church, and the Catholic bretheren perform an enema on a priest with the consecrated wine. I'm mentioning this because the way the alcohol enema story comes out in the aforementioned novel is quite different from how Stephanie Siete (please click through, trust me) describes the effects of anal bonging beer. I really am confused. Should I believe the Marquis de Sade or Nicole Beyer (from Channel 15 in Phoenix) and Stephanie Siete?
@dandles: In this situation, I'm with you on this one. The only word I trust in reporting on drug scares sweeping our nation's youth is the CBS affiliate in South Bend, Indiana that recommended smelling kids' breath every night before they go to bed to make sure they weren't huffing jenkem.
Why can't they just DRINK the alcohol and furiously suck a handful of Tic-Tacs before submitting to a parental breath sniff, as their parents no doubt did before them? Much safer and easier...
Kids, don't bother reinventing the wheel.
@City_Dater: I think it has something to do with the fact that you can't casually drink vodka in certain places. This method would allow you to get drunk without anyone having to know.
@City_Dater: @Bookish: Also, wouldn't you still be able to smell the alcohol on their breath after the anal bonging or the tampon...er, insertion? Sure, they wouldn't smell like beer, wine, whiskey or whatever, but alcohol would still exit through the lungs.
Please understand that the assload of crazy coming out of Arizona of late is concentrated to the giant puss-filled zit in the middle of the state that is Phoenix. Much of the rest of the state is populated with perfectly sane hippies (Sedona) and recently unstarred Gawker commenters (Tucson.)
@bboston88: Please. I live in Scottsdale, and it's fine. What isn't fine are all the jerks from Chandler, Ahwatukee and the West Side that come over here in droves on the weekends to act like assholes. If Scottsdale is so bad, why does every person flock here on a Saturday night? A lot of us are real people, not the asshats that come in from other parts of the Valley to make us look bad.
Um, HamNo, I'm gonna go ahead and say that in that picture it really must be you. And let me also say that Denton isn't paying you guys nearly enough if you have an old Magnavox, are drinking copious amounts of Red Stripe, and what is that a Sega joystick?!
Wait, Denton's in the picture too, isn't he? Cowboy boots and tapered jeans...a dead give away if I ever saw one.
09/22/09
And some say America has lost its spirit of ingenuity!
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Simply insert a full bottle into the opening, flip it upside-down, then wait several hours until it all soaks in.
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08/26/09
They're drinking Falstaff in Flagstaff.
Licking toads in Grasshopper Junction.
Drinking Vicks 44 in Vicksburg.
Hotboxing in Steamboat Canyon.
Shotgunning Zima in Yuma.
Smoking rock in Marble Canyon.
Shoveling mounds of snow in Santa Claus.
Getting vodka colonics in Cyclopic.
And you can write a whole book about what they're doing in Holbrook.
If they don't clean up their acts, these kids are either going to end up in Casa Grande or Tombstone.
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08/26/09
They don't wear any panties...
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:p
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Kids, don't bother reinventing the wheel.
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We have pretty sunsets. And a lizard that shoots blood from its eyes.
That's all I have.
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Then again, maybe he was just there for the ass tampons.
08/26/09
Wait, Denton's in the picture too, isn't he? Cowboy boots and tapered jeans...a dead give away if I ever saw one.