terrible things

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Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
Please God End Those TV Drug Ads
The Hills: Each and Every One a Virgin
Unfortunate Ad Placement Involves Baby Grilling
Disney to Give Boys Their Own Screeching Icons
New Underwear Technology May Devastate U.S. Masculinity

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skt.smth
08/27/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
The one thing I'm wondering is how they can possibly show shit coming out of an asshole and not get an NC-17 rating. Shit and asses are the things these ratings boards are most obsessed with banning.

It can't be possible that this movie will ever see the big screen, except on college campuses.
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Edited by skt.smth at 08/27/09 3:09 AM skt.smth was starred skt.smth was unstarred

ZekiSthenelus
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
When I think about this movie being made, I think about the seminal book Unmasking Administrative Evil. In it, the authors argue that evil only exists because people go along with it. How many people ok'd the script? How many people were in the room as scenes were being shot. It turns out Tucker Max has made assholes of them all.
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Meeg
08/27/09

@ZekiSthenelus: It's just like the holocaust
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tipsymcfrisky
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
At first I was just disappointed that *any* recognizable star, let alone Jesse Bradford, was in this stinker. Then I realized that Tucker himself is played by none other than Logan from Gilmore Girls!

NOOOOOO! Say it isn't so!

But looking at his IMDB page, it shouldn't be surprising -- he's got a pretty sad resume.
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♥AntiSocialSocialite♥
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
I'm sorry you had to do this for your job. But this was a great read. You endure hell (where there may or may not be beer?) for our edification (and entertainment) - and for that, we thank you.
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cupcakes
08/27/09

@♥Anti-SocialSocialite♥: Seriously. Way to take one for the team. You deserve a week off for this one.
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City_Dater
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
Hamilton, you are Jesus, suffering for the sins of others. Or those people at the FBI who have to watch snuff films and torture porn to try to identify victims. Either way, you really really shouldn't have...
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desertbloom79
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
It saddens me that ShrinkTalk is on Rufus Media, because Dr. Rob is actually a pretty decent guy, with generally sound, practical advice.
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valet_of_the_dolls promoted this comment desertbloom79 was starred desertbloom79 was unstarred

BanteringBlond
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
Tucker's response to being called a rapist...

[www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com]
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Calraigh promoted this comment BanteringBlond was starred BanteringBlond was unstarred

this_mad_woman
08/26/09

@BanteringBlond: i don't think anyone has called him a rapist, even. contributing to rape culture and actually raping someone aren't really the same thing. and it kills me how he immediately admits to not knowing what rape culture is and instead of looking it up just screaming about how he doesn't rape!!! ugh.
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BanteringBlond
08/26/09

@this_mad_woman: You are absolutely correct. They don't actually call him a rapist anywhere in that article.

Also, just as an FYI to everyone. His team sends most of the tips to Gawker to have them run articles about it. A bullet point from his ex-assistants resume:

"Developing and executing viral internet PR strategy: baiting Gawker.com"
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noonecaresowen
08/26/09

@BanteringBlond: That asshole had an assistant??
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BanteringBlond
08/26/09

@noonecaresowen: He had a few. Surprisingly nice guys.
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Aatom
08/26/09

@BanteringBlond: "Developing and executing viral internet PR strategy: baiting Gawker.com

Mission accomplished.
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Calraigh promoted this comment Aatom was starred Aatom was unstarred

baconismyaesthetic
08/27/09

@BanteringBlond: It's such a conundrum! On one hand, there's the old "so vile let's ignore them so they disappear." That doesn't work too well, since stories about this taintstain do generate some decent traffic. But really, I think no matter how he puffs himself up and thinks he's masterminding or controlling things, the truth is self actualized grown ups do not follow the "well any attention is better than no attention!" of childhood. Granted, PR is all about attention, but I think Gawker--and others'--focus on exposing Max for the a-hole he is might ensure that his career and his movie will tank fast.
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sparklyharempants
08/27/09

@Aatom: Methinks Gawker should stop taking the bait.

I need to stop taking the bait too.
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MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment Edited by sparklyharempants at 08/27/09 1:32 AM sparklyharempants was starred

baconismyaesthetic
08/27/09

@sparklylegwarmers: Good point!
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MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment baconismyaesthetic was starred

Sasquatch
08/27/09

@BanteringBlond: He's right. They shouldn't be calling him a rapist.

Misogynist? Yes.
Douchebag? Unquestionably.
A man-child of low moral character who will hopefully die of cirrhosis before he gets the opportunity to infect the gene pool with his demon retard spawn? For fucking sure.

But he is right about the seriousness of rape accusations. It's not necessarily rape culture he's promoting, but drunken frat boy douchebag culture, of which rape culture tends to be a byproduct.
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shostakobitch
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
quit just telling me what i want to hear
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sirjohnoldcastle
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
The only part of this movie I will enjoy is when Gawker publishes the profit/loss report based on box office revenues, until then, the less i hear about it the better--except for this review which made me laugh out loud.
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the tiniest mexican promoted this comment sirjohnoldcastle was starred sirjohnoldcastle was unstarred

cockfightbarmitzvah
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
Provided this even gets released (I still think it'll be dumped to DVD at the last minute), I'm predicting a $0.7M opening weekend, before it limps away two weeks later, to be only ever viewed in rancid beer and urine soaked fratboy basements forever thereafter.
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GooberSaysHey
08/26/09

@cockfightbarmitzvah: No ... more money than that. Fratboy douchebags everywhere need something to see! Plus, you know plenty of them will think this is a date movie. Er ... date rape movie, anyway.
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BadUncle
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
Looking forward to the DVD packaging with this pullquote:

This movie is...in fact, hilarious.
Hamilton Nolan, Gawker
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MattGaymon
08/26/09

@BadUncle: "This film .. is probably why .. the world loves .. poop." - Hamilton Nolan
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Caius
08/26/09

@MattGaymon: "The best ...film. Like...a...strip club."
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Heywoodjablome
08/26/09

@BadUncle: Excellent work all. There is, in fact, an easier quote to pull that would require no gaps:

"this movie is worth paying to see"
Hamilton Nolan, Gawker

Maybe not the strongest, but definitely positive!
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Caius promoted this comment Heywoodjablome was starred Heywoodjablome was unstarred

Caius
08/26/09

@Heywoodjablome: Excellent.

Another is: "Let's go see it...and laugh." or, "Imagine a movie...Awesome."
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Phyllis Nefler
08/26/09

@Caius and co: This is the best comment thread ever.

"The world loves ... the film."
-Hamilton Nolan, Gawker.com
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DahlELama
08/26/09

@Heywoodjablome: "Whore bitches can't get enough!"
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Caius
08/26/09

@DahlELama: "The best...film. Become...a plausible male."
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tigolbitties
08/26/09

@Caius: "...not a bad movie..." ~HamNo
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MattGaymon
08/26/09

@Phyllis Nefler: "You're ... curious!"
- Hamilton Nolan, Gawker
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snugbug
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
Please clarify: Is this The Room-type awful, whereby said film is so retarded and inept that it secures immortality to its auteur via cult following on the midnight-movie circuit? Or is it "hose-it-down-the-sink" awful whereby nobody will ever remember it past the opening week?
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mmstk101
08/26/09

@snugbug: And, follow-up: how does it compare to Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Does Tucker Max's Big Poop Out have lesbian vampires? If not, would lesbian vampires have made it better or worse?
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Edited by mmstk101 at 08/26/09 6:58 PM mmstk101 was starred mmstk101 was unstarred

Pope John Peeps II
08/26/09

@mmstk101: Oddly enough, I was in the crowd at the very first showing of JC:VH.
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mmstk101
08/26/09

@Pope John Peeps II: Seriously? That's awesome! I saw it while in university and it was pretty . . . . spectacular. The fight scene in the park was particularly memorable.
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Spirit Fingers
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
I am fearful. I am fearful that this thing will become the new anti-movie which will translate into, "Oh dude. That shit was so shitty, you gotta see it! No, for real. Go see it!" and become the sleeper douche-twatting turd filth hit of the freakin year.

Our society does this. It makes absolute horrific things cult classics. I bet you right now everyone can name five films that were brain-evisceratingly awful, but everyone you know saw it, hated it, but told friends to see it. I mean who hasn't seen Gigli or Juwanna Mann?
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Colander
08/26/09

@Spirit Fingers: I fear this might be the next Van Wilder, in that, if you know a jock-ish, mentally-sluggish 18-23 year-old, they will think it's both appropriate and hilarious.
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gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy
08/26/09

@Spirit Fingers: This is the same society that gives Heidi and Spencer the time of day. What do you expect?
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Spirit Fingers
08/26/09

@Colander and gerbilsoutofexile...is cheap and easy: Exactly. Shouldn't it be more disturbing that this movie actually has a target audience? I wouldn't let them tie their own shoe laces, but it is indeed an audience. Max may have outwitted us all by marketing a movie for, about, and brought to you by a festering half-wit. Genius. (We're doomed. Just doomed. We'll be eating tree bark by the morning.)
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irishflyesq
08/26/09

@Spirit Fingers: Juwanna Mann. I just laughed out loud. This was on once when I was on a plane, en route home to JFK from Las Vegas. I had read every book and magazine on the plane, and the movie was heavily edited, and I still could not bear more than a second or two of this god-awful dreck.
If a movie is so bad, that you would rather lock yourself in an airplane toilet than watch one single moment, that's bad.
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labyrinthine IS DOING THIS
08/26/09

@Spirit Fingers: I haven't seen either! I win!
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Spirit Fingers promoted this comment

Spirit Fingers
08/26/09

@labyrinthine IS DOING THIS: Which means you were apparently one of the five people, including a foundling Norwegian and a monster truck rally announcer, who saw Basic Instinct 2
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m4ximusprim3
08/26/09

@Spirit Fingers: Instead of "straight to DVD", it sounds like it should be "Straight to Fox News".
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Agador Spartacus
08/26/09

@Spirit Fingers: Yeah. Showgirls.
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Spirit Fingers promoted this comment Agador Spartacus was starred Agador Spartacus was unstarred

Spirit Fingers
08/26/09

@are friends electric?: Oh, fuck yeah! Who hasn't seen Showgirls? Holy Christ's hankie...that is one of the originals in the Hall of Suck.
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Artemisia999
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
I would rather suck cold vomit form a dirty sock than watch this poop excuse for a movie!!
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Wrapitup promoted this comment Artemisia999 was starred Artemisia999 was unstarred

westward ho
08/26/09

@Artemisia999: that ... is one of the grosser "would you rather"s i think i've ever heard. well played.
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Wrapitup promoted this comment westward ho was starred westward ho was unstarred

TedSez
08/26/09

In reply to Tucker Max's Movie: Poop
It sounds like this movie is to Judd Apatow what Transmorphers was to Transformers.

So has the kid from "Gilmore Girls" and "Friday Night Lights" ruined his career completely? It would serve him right if he ends up as cougar bait in Sex and the City 3.
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DahlELama
08/26/09

@TedSez: Well, he's going to be in the new Juliana Marguiles show coming this fall, but if The Good Wife does as well as Canterbury's Law, I think this is the last we'll be seeing of him. Sad when the cute ones go so bad, so soon.
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