The beaked and eight-tentacled monsters with which we enjoy a tenuously shared existence on this Earth are no longer content to sit placidly in their tanks and their oceans. Cephalopods the world over are rising up and out of the water, from Australia to the Pacific Northwest, and no land-dweller is safe.
Can you tell what's going on in this photo? You can't, because everything is covered in fucking snow. It was taken in Buffalo, New York, yesterday, near where dozens of people have spent the past 35 hours trapped in their cars on Interstate 90.
Today in the cutthroat world of New York City real estate: a psychotic landlord who allegedly plotted to burn his Bed Stuy home to the ground while two squatters were living inside. While planning the razing, Lalbahadour Byjoo allegedly told an undercover cop he "liked his steak well done."
Today's second-most frightening news story involves a number of porcelain dolls, each crafted to resemble a young girl living in the same Orange County neighborhood.
A 70-foot yacht competing in the Clipper Round the World Race was sailing in the Pacific Ocean north of Papua New Guinea when it was hit with a surprise 115 mile-per-hour wind. In short order, the boat was on its side, and crew members were tumbling into the water.
The most surprising part of this terrifying clown video is that there weren't more heart attacks involved.
Mindreader Anthony Laye plays a game called "nailgun roulette," where he tries to tell by a person's voice which one of four nailguns is loaded. Hopefully, he's right, because the other three are going to be fired at him.
From the "Videos That Will Give You Nightmares" department: KLAS in Las Vegas has obtained tape of family court marshals illegally arresting a woman accusing one of them of sexual assault—as the presiding officer ignores her pleas for help or explanation.
As though shit-encrusted cruise ships weren't enough: a Greyhound bus traveling from Atlantic City to New York was forced to evacuate because of a roach infestation:
After a chunk of ice was inadvertently dislodged by another mountain climber above him, Mark Roberts was sent shooting down Parsley Fern Gully in Snowdonia without any means of slowing down.
The Rakwena Crocodile Farm in northern South Africa has reportedly managed to capture about 7,500 crocodiles that went missing after a flood threat forced the owner to open the gates, but just as many remain on the loose.
A mother in Australia was stunned to find several highly venomous snakes slithering around inside her bedroom wardrobe after they hatched from eggs brought into the Queensland home by her son a few weeks earlier.
Hundreds of commuters were trapped in Chicago overnight Tuesday due to the snow. Passengers aboard one bus ended up panicking and tried to escape on foot, only to be beaten back by the storm. They probably had this maniacal driver.
Ireland, the 14 year-old daughter of Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, got this Lil Wayne birthday cake. What a thing. [Pic: Rosebud Cakes]
