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Thanksgiving
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the poors
How A Homeless Man Taught William Eville The True Meaning of Thanksgiving
Like Wordsworth, William Eville appears to be a Billy rather appropriately surnamed. In a "New York Observed" column for the Times yesterday, Mr. Eville recounts the time "in the early '90s" when he found a homeless person living in his car, which was parked by TriBeCa's "Duane Park...a park in name only." But why would said Mr. Eville be in possession of an internal-combustion engine? Oh, you know, "being from the New Jersey suburbs, I felt that a car was like an essential organ. It was not something I was prepared to give up." But knowing he felt such feelings about giving up said personal-mobility device and the fact that "a garage cost almost as much as rent," why had Mr. Evil come to New York? "I had come to New York to work as a banker. I didn't like the job but at the time I thought it was something I was supposed to do." Hmm, sounds like somebody was ripe for a moral lesson! More »
thanksgiving
Like every other year, we're thankful for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.
William Burroughs Gives Thanks From Beyond The Grave
Like every other year, we're thankful for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.
In Allah's name, we are everlastingly grateful to have, thus far, been spared the litigious wrath of Judith Regan and Dan Rather. We also have only our friends and colleagues to thank for the fact that this year, we were not caught driving drunk with a 23-year-old woman on our lap. But perhaps most of all, we are thankful for the concrete comfort of New York, where nothing like this could ever possibly befall us.
thanksgiving
A Gawker Thanksgiving
Every year Gawker commenter and ad sales guy (and the best argument for abolishing the divide between editorial and advertising) LolCait has a super special Thanksgiving in his mind. There all of his and your favorite characters meet and dreams come true. This year Laurel Touby hosts. More »
Our Father in heaven, we give thanks to thee that we're not one of the 25 million Britons— half of all of Britains's total population—whose private bank information was made public after the government lost two disks on which that information was held. [NYT]
Thanks to our Native American friends for the glorious tobacco plant, a gift to the white man that, in its way, has been almost as damaging and just as wonderful as our chief handsel to our red brothers, delicious alcohol. Way to go guys! Now get to work on your own versions of smallpox, forced relocation, and genocide.
With Thanksgiving upon us, I'd like to say I'm thankful for Joba Chamberlain of the Yankees. Thank you, spirits of the Pilgrims, for sending us this hard-throwing phenom with a filthy slider, just when we needed him most.
This year, I'm thanking Gaia and Shiva and whatnot for Lolcats. I seriously don't know what I'd do sometimes without funny cat pictures. They remind me that the Internet isn't just about snap judgments and pointing and laughing at dumbness and hypocrisy. No, the Internet is also about funny cat pictures! Ok, and also funny pictures of walruses. And that's it.
We're thankful for once again living in a city where a guy can order all the top-shelf booze he wants on the internet. Thank Our Heavenly Father for entire winters spent drowning in Old Overholt without ever leaving the house.
Lord, We thank you another year of witty paternal film criticism by the Times's A.O. Scott. When he likes movies we like, it's like he is personally validating our taste, and that feels good. Also, this is how he ended a review of Todd Haynes' "I'm Not There": "Mr. Haynes is not simply compiling golden oldies. You hear familiar songs, but what you see is the imagination unleashed — the chimes of freedom flashing." Amen. [NYT]
charts and graphs
For Thanksgiving, A Craigslist- Pumpkin Pie Chart!
Sure, Craigslist can tell us where to find that missed connection, a holiday gig, an iPhone or a strictly platonic encounter, but can it tell us what New Yorkers are thankful for this year? The answer lies in Craigslist's Rants and Raves section, where the lively banter revolves around everything from burning a hoo ha to images of hippos. Out of gratitude, I've concocted a festive pie chart of over 100 recent Rants and Raves. Full breakdown and exerpts after the jump. More »
issues
Our Nation Is Gripped By A Turkey Carving Crisis!
The hard part about writing News You Can Use isn't finding the solution; it's proving there's a problem to be solved. Consider today's Times, wherein dining reporter Julia Moskin has a nice Thanksgiving Eve article (accompanied online by a thrilling instructional video) about a new low-stress, expert-approved way to carve up your turkey. But is the old hack-and-slice regime really so problematic? Yes. "Before breakfast on Thanksgiving," begins Moskin's tale, "as the first Americans rise to preheat the oven, the question of who is going to carve the bird starts to ripple anxiously across the land." This being journalism (of sorts), the burden of proof requires at least some civilian testimony, which is where things take a decided turn toward the gothic. More »
smugsgiving
The HuffPo Vegan Wishes You A Very Self-Righteous Thanksgiving
Patrick Waldo, the Huffington Post's video guy, is also an out and proud vegan. Vegans are people who don't eat or use anything that came from animals, so obviously they hate Thanksgiving, the holiday that celebrates our Puritan forefathers' victory over the savage turkeys of The New World. Vegans refuse to exploit animals in any way except to use them to try to make the rest of us feel bad for wanting some honey in our hot toddy and wanting our hot toddy in a leather mug. So yesterday Mr. Waldo wrote a little HuffPo Blog about how he took a trip to a very special kind of turkey farm. More »
holidays r hell
Bonnie Fuller Imagines Brangelina's Nightmare Thanksgiving
This Thanksgiving, as you add the last pat of butter to the mashed potatoes while trying to ignore your great uncle's comments about how your mother's like Crisco because she's fat in the can, be thankful that you're not Brad Pitt. So says Bonnie Fuller, who, in her latest HuffPo blog post, points out that she believes her own magazine's report about how strained things could be at the Pitt home in Missouri on Thursday! More »
burn!
'Times' Talks Turkey Online and Smack on Murdoch
Times deputy managing editor Jonathan Landman is so excited about the Nytimes.com's Thanksgiving Times topic page that, in a recently circulated letter to the troops, he couldn't help but rub it in the tryptophan-hating face of rival Rupert Murdoch.
Way back in 2005, somebody wrote a terrific story about easy ways to cook the Thanksgiving turkey. Somebody else wrote a wonderful headline: "The Pilgrims Didn't Brine." And what happened? It turned into fish wrap. Sure, it lurked in some obscure electronic corner on the web, but who'd ever find it? Until now. Because now we can proudly introduce The Thanksgiving Day Topic Page ...Hey Murdoch! How's that Dow Jones Thanksgiving page coming along?How you like them apple crisps, Rupe?
blended families
'AMNY' Staffers Show You How To Use Pottery Barn Products
AMNY has put together a positively delightful online photo gallery on "how to organize a great holiday party." The "friends" in the photos—which use products from Pottery Barn, Sheffield 57 and Fairway—are actual, real-life AMNY staffers. (At least one of them looks to be editorial staffer Justin Rocket Silverman.) Talk about cruel and inhumane expectations of employees! Follow their lead, if your idea of a dream dinner party is less "Manhattan" and instead something straight out of thirtysomething.
thanksgiving
NBC News: Yesterday Less Than Ever
We haven't watched the Thanksgiving Day parade on television for probably a solid two decades, but when we glanced at this morning's papers we began to regret avoiding the broadcast this year. There was, it seems, a "Holi-Daze" "Lights Out" at the parade yesterday, a "narrowly avoided" disaster that was caused when a giant (and, apparently, angry) M&M careened into a lamppost in Times Square and sent a 30-pound lighting fixture falling onto two sisters watching the parade below. More »
