Hey you! Ever wondered what food writers REALLY think of Thanksgiving? No? Food writers are assholes and you don't give a shit? Well, tough turkey for you, gravyballs.
Oranges: a popular fruit. Very popular. Go in any place that sells fruit, fruit store, or whatever, and I bet one thing you will see there displayed prominently is—that's right—oranges. The point is that oranges are very popular in America. So then, smartass: why is there no orange pie?
With Black Friday a mere three days away (two, if you go by Target's definition of "Friday"), many people are already feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of leaving their homes, walking into a store, and purchasing the goods they find therein.
Anthony Bourdain is a man of many talents and many curse words: For the past 30 years, he's been a successful chef, then author, and television host, traveling the world for his Travel Channel series, No Reservations, and eating at some of the most loved restaurants in the world (as well as its least-known food stalls…
This upcoming Thanksgiving week will be a long one and difficult, although hopefully it will not be without its bright spots for each of you. Some things you must resign yourself to now: you will almost certainly end up purchasing your own weight in electronics on Black Friday, if not being used as part of a human…
America is in the midst of a prolonged unemployment crisis. For the past 15 weeks, we've been bringing you true stories of unemployment, directly from the unemployed. Despair, desperation, and depression have been common themes. So today—in honor of Thanksgiving—we're bringing you some stories with happy endings. Here…
The most reviled woman in America at the moment is without a doubt the Wal-Mart pepper sprayer, whose cold, bald avarice eclipsed all other Black Friday crimes. (The most reviled woman in the U.K. is this one, but that's another story.) Yet despite turning herself in to police, she still walks freely among us. Why?…
In case you were too busy eating last Thursday to keep up with the news, some conservatives were very upset with President Obama for leaving God out of his YouTube Thanksgiving address. No, Obama isn't the only recent president to do so, and yes, God was in his written address, but that didn't stop Fox News from…
As has become our annual tradition, we asked for your Thanksgiving horror stories and did you guys deliver. There were hundreds of tales of woe, but only one that could be crowned the winner. It's really bad.
Let's not allow the pepper-spray clouds, bullet showers, and mounds of bloody Brawny towels to obscure our view of the hard-working cashiers, stockers, and other retail workers who staffed the stores and enabled Black Friday to happen. How did they fare yesterday?
An angry (and strategic) shopper in Los Angeles pepper sprayed about 20 people trying to get X-Boxes 360 on Thursday night, sending at least one person to the hospital. In North Carolina, a shootout broke out at 2 a.m. outside a mall where shoppers had gathered. Yes—it's the most wonderful time of the year. Happy…
Watch this YouTube of President Barack Obama delivering his Thanksgiving-themed weekly address and see if you can figure out what—or Who—is missing. tl; dw? Fine, then: It's God! He did not mention God, who made everything you should feel thankful for—if you believe in God.
While listening to Aunt Eunice talk about her recent hip surgery and watching Little Cousin Jaydenlynne text furiously over her plateful of unwanted peas, you slowly chewed your turkey and thought about American's politicians and pundits, and how they are spending Thanksgiving. Am I right?
When taking into account the fact we eat them for Thanksgiving every year, it's not hard to understand why turkeys seem to harbor disdain for people. But just in case you've remained unaware of the phenomenon, here are 10 videos of some angry toms and hens exacting revenge upon the evil carnivores among us. Happy…
Thanksgiving is the perfect day to cherish those people and things that enhance your life: your family and Facebook friends, your computer, your favorite website, and many other, less obvious things that you might be overlooking. Such as?
Even though New York First Mistress Sandra Lee is forever partial to Halloween—if you don't know why, do yourself a favor and click here to find out—she still made time to visit tonight's Late Night and prepare a Thanksgiving meal with Jimmy Fallon. And by "Thanksgiving meal," I mean "a gross-looking Bailey's…
What is Thanksgiving all about? It's about ringing in the season of conspicuous consumerism we call Christmas, right? So what better way to celebrate that than with a department store sponsored holiday tradition: The Macy's Thanksgiving balloons.
Today Anderson Cooper, the world's worst cook, had Jamie Oliver on his show to teach him how to prepare Thanksgiving dinner. As well as being a novice in the kitchen we learn he is unfamiliar with something else: rubbing breasts.
On today's episode of the 700 Club, not-dead televangelist Pat Robertson was intrigued by a snippet from his co-host Kristi Watts' interview with Condoleezza Rice. Rice said her favorite Thanksgiving food is mac 'n' cheese, a sentiment that Watts seconded. So Pat Robertson hears this, notes that the two ladies'…
Tonight is one of the biggest bar nights of the year as everyone returns to their suburban hometown and heads out to some skanky sports bar they wouldn't be caught dead in the other 364 nights. Then they drive home drunk and get a DUI. Tale as old as time.
