Confession: I was out for some quiet and casual on the Upper West Side with a friend when an old man (must’ve been in his 80s, no joke, and mildly inebriated) innocently insisted on buying us drinks–I opted for cofffee–and ultimately wound up with this crowd pleaser of a line upon observation: “You’re TOO YOUNG for pearls…”

NEVER.

Oh, we agree. Lots of kids get em in their teens these days.

I feel like everyone expects me to dress a certain way now that I’ve transformed, but why? I lose 100 lbs and suddenly, I should dress like, say, a cougar? Or something in between ‘pearls’ and ‘cougar’? I’m not changing the fundamentals of myself just because I slimmed down. Why is that so hard for people to understand?

Preach, O ultimate narrator.

Oh, and any guy who has a problem with a girl who wears pearls at any age isn’t a guy I’d ever date.

I have friends who concur.

HEH. [Essentially Emily]