Climate change is causing rising oceans and more extreme weather. Even as beachfront development continues, beachfront living is growing ever more perilous. What happens when all the insurance companies decide to stop insuring anything by a beach?

In normal times, America prefers to confine its armed mumbling lunatics to gun show parking lots and Roger Ailes' house. These are not normal times. Now, armed mumbling lunatics are washing up on our nation's beaches, mumbling and armed.

Bernie Madoff's Montauk digs went for $9.4M! Originally listed at $8.4M, the Corcoran Group's apparently the U.S. Marshals' favorite real estate agency. Proceeds go straight into to a Madoff victims fund, no word on the buyer. But the quotes? Priceless.

You could be the proud new owner of The Madoffs' Montauk beach estate, for the low low price of $8.75 million or so! Click through for a photographic tour of your future party pad—including the sexxxy room!

We had but one reason for revisiting Main Beach in East Hampton over the weekend—we wanted to see if our favorite scorched old man was there. He was! Eating chicken salad from a Tupperware container all alone! But we're glad we did hit the waves once more. The tide was coming in, you see, and the wealthy families…

The best way to read the New York Times's Week In Review section is: On the beach, clad in just a Speedo, whilst smoking a cigar. Certainly the man pictured, an awesome snowbird named Dick Stern, agrees. On Sunday, we checked out the beach, as they say "out there." (For non-snobs, that means we went to Main Beach,…