World Changing
Almost one third of the people in America now live in counties where non-white people make up the majority of the population. That portion is growing with time.
Are We in For a Dystopian Future of Endless Suburbs and Robot Cars?
If you are exactly like me, you live in a dense urban environment and assume that dense urban environments are the way of the future, and suburbs are dark hellpits full of enormous PetSmart outlets and molly-soaked teens. But perhaps this is incorrect?
The world is projected to install 1.6 billion new air conditioners by 2050. That’s 1.6 billion more people too soft to function in our warming world. It’s gonna be hot, baby. Deal with it.
What Are We Gonna Do With All The People Who Are Automated Out of Work?
The biggest near term threat to the stability of nations might not be climate change, terrorism, or nuclear war. It just might be robots—putting millions of people out of jobs. Where will they all go? There are only a few possibilities.
Automation and Basic Income
Without meaning to, the CEO of a restaurant corporation that is busily trying to automate employees out of existence is becoming one of the best spokesmen for the idea of providing all Americans with a universal basic income.
In The Future You Won't Be Able to Pee Between Subway Cars
Amid all of humanity’s fantastical projections of future technology, one stands out: we may live to see a day when it is impossible to piss between moving New York City subway cars.
Vape Terrorists Now Banned From Putting E-Cigs in Checked Baggage
Big vape news for big vape-men: The U.S. Department of Transportation has banned airline passengers from packing e-cigarettes and other battery-powered vaping implements—I don’t know? E-blunts?—in their checked baggage.
“Investing in the water industry is one of the great opportunities for the coming decades,” says a New York money manager. “Water is the scarce resource that will define the 21st century, much like plentiful oil defined the last century.” Oh goodie. The 21st century is gonna be great.
Your "Scoop" Doesn't Matter
On Thursday, at about 4 p.m. Central Standard Time, several news outlets reported that Dennis Hastert, the former speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives and Illinois congressman, was indicted for, among other offenses, lying to the Federal Bureau of Investigation. The media entities included BuzzFeed News, the…
Centennials Are the New Millennials Are the New Menaces 2 Society
The “millennial” generation loves nothing more than advertising, except for allegedly humorous “Vines” that they force you to watch on their iPhones, at parties, which is inappropriate. The point is: advertisers are over millennials and their bullshit.
Now Is the Time to Invest in War-Torn Somalia
The war-torn coastal African nation of Somalia is not just "The most failed state on earth" and "The worst country on Earth" and "The world's worst hellhole"—it is also a great investment opportunity.
Rogue Robot Vacuum Eats Woman's Hair While She Sleeps
Instead of an efficient future secured by the Three Laws of Robotics, we've got a disappointing one with all of the robotics and none of the laws. Robots now injure human beings, allow them to come to harm, and try to eat all their hair while they sleep. We're fucked.
Imagine Chris Christie Falling Out of a Chair, Forever
Want a picture of the future? Imagine Chris Christie in a Philadelphia radio station last June. Then imagine a human butt falling out of a chair.
Music and Advertising Formally Announce Their Merger
If you are the sort of person who believes that it would be nice if musical artists would not always become paid shills for various brands—and you're probably not, judging by the world we live in today—you will not want to hear this.
Stop Taking Your Screens to Bed, You Humanoid Robots
We've all heard the warnings: if you take your phones, iPads, phablets, Lite-Brites, and laptops into the dormoir, you will not have restless sleep. Most doctors suggest turning that shit off and throwing it out a window before laying our heads down to rest, but do we listen? Fuck no, we've got tweets to write, doc!
Thai Government Builds Robot Snob to Expose Non-Authentic Thai Food
Despite being thrown out in a military coup in May, the Thai government is still working on an important initiative (no, not piecing the country back together): they will be unveiling a high-tech robot that tells you if the shitty Thai food you're eating is actually authentic cuisine or not.
Forty Percent of Your Kids Will Get Diabetes
If you have a "young one" waddling around your home at the moment (because it is your child), I suggest you lift them off the ground with a mighty effort, shake them (as much as you're able), and scream, "There's a 40% chance you will have diabetes one day!" (until your muscles give out).
Pepsi Blazing New Frontiers in Nasty Soda Combinations
With the exception of Diet Mtn Dew, most of the so-called beverages produced by the Pepsi Corporation are little more than bubbly carcinogens that aren't even fun, like smoking. Now, the Pepsi Corporation is offering you more nasty soda flavors than ever before.
China Maybe Wants To Build An Underwater Train to America
Underwater travel is the next frontier of international transportation — if you are the kind of futurist who would believe a report made by a state-run Chinese news outlet. The Washington Post, citing this Bejing Times story, reports that the train of our nautical dreams is (maybe) happening:
Earth will reportedly have trillionaires soon, as many as 11 of them in the next couple of generations. That would be roughly $140 for each human being on earth. Or enough to pay Atlas to stop shrugging and just flip off the rest of the world's population.
