Can You Even Handle This Insane Tale of Simon Cowell's 'Heroism'?

Prepare yourself for a yarn from the high seas that's so exciting and dangerous it makes Jaws look like fucking Babe. This maritime drama stars none other than Simon Cowell, a British man known mostly for being mean to amateur singers on musical game shows. The setting: Cowell's yacht off the coast of St. Tropez. Are…
