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the jews
NEWS JEWS CAN USE
Turns out tattoos are ok! And basically they always have been! Well, not like "great" ok but the "you can't get buried in a Jewish cemetery" thing is a myth invented by Philip Roth's mom. [NYT via Dana]
the jews
The Video The Jewish Cabal Didn't Want You To See
So the Dutch, ever attuned to ruffling feathers and then giving the finger to the duck, have produced a documentary on John Mearsheimer and Stephen Walt’s “The Israel Lobby.” You might remember that thesis, originally circulated in the London Review of Books, for its argument that American Zionist groups, namely AIPAC, and various evangelical backers of Israel, who believe the holy land is the return depot of the Son of Man, control U.S. foreign policy. How much so? Well, the word “strangle-hold” was used, until the authors wisely decided to drop it. And we apparently went to war in Iraq as a personal favor to Ariel Sharon (“One for the road, Bulldozer.”) More »
bomb iran
Congressional Jews Promise Obama Will Hate Muslims
"Several of Congress' most prominent Jewish members are set to go after John McCain on an issue of perceived strength," reports Sam Stein at the HuffPo. That strength? McCain's willingness to nuke anyone who looks at America (or Israel) the wrong way. They're going to pass a resolution criticizing McCain for not being tough enough on Iran. For real! The candidate who sang a happy song about starting a useless, unwinnable war with Iran is now in trouble with the Congressional Jews for being too Iran-friendly. Well, their precise argument is that McCain didn't vote to close a loophole that allows US corporations to do business with sanctioned regimes via shell companies. But the point of highlighting this is to once again stake out a foreign policy position to the right of a proud hawk. Isn't it fun when Democrats do this? Now Barack Obama will surely win Florida, Tel Aviv, and Brighton Beach. [HuffPo]
the internets
The Jewiest Web Sites Around
As we told you earlier, Jewish people love buying books and eating Chinese food. They are also voracious consumers of web media: we'd even go as far to say that Jews run the Internet! We've rounded up the Jewiest websites. Click for our list. (A user's guide: if a website's index is 200, that means it has twice as many Jewish readers as would be expected from their percentage of the web population.) For example, Zagat, at 651, has users six times more likely to be Jewish than visitors to the average site. More »
books
Stuff Jews Like: Chinese Food and Books
You might have already known that Jews love Chinese food, especially on Christmas. But did you know that "Jews as a group buy 23 percent of all hardcover books printed"? That's according to according to Stuart M. Matlins, EIC and publisher at Jewish Lights and Skylight Paths books. Jennifer 8. Lee, NYT reporter and author of Chinese food book The Fortune Cookie Chronicles, subjected herself to an "audition" to have her book included in the Jewish Book Network. In fact, she changed the number of chapters in her book from 19 to 18 (a significant number meaning "life") simply to appeal to the chosen tribe! So a Chinese-American author walks into a room of 200 Jews at the Book Expo... More »
florida
'Times' Report: Jews Scared of Black Man
Jews! They hate Obama! That's according to today's Times, in which we learn that Florida's Jews are almost as misinformed as West Virginia's everyone. Anyway—old Jewish retirees all think Obama is against Israel, even though he's just as solidly pro-whatever Israel wants as every other major American politician from either side of the aisle. What can Obama do to win them over? More »
entertainment
Hollywood Salutes the Jews!
Hollywood stars gathered (electronically) in Times Square Tuesday to celebrate the 60th birthday of one of their dearest friends—the nation of Israel! Celebrities from Ben Stiller to Billy Crystal (and some gentiles!) appeared on two huge screens delivering their best birthday wishes for the little nation that could. You'll never guess who was behind the surprise outpouring of goodwill: "Francine Raubvogel, Chief of Staff at the Israeli Consulate, spearheaded the project with Nancy Spielberg, sister of director Steven Spielberg." Also there are banners, and a parade! The banners feature Israeli citizens with flags both from their county and ours. Our nations are inseparable! BFFs! Next month, all the Muslims in Hollywood will throw their own celebration, with Omar Sharif sending a telegram that will be read aloud on public access television. [JPost via Heeb]
race relations
Obama's Jewish Problem
So. Obama has a bit of a problem with the Jews. Some suspect he doesn't support Israel. Or support it enough. Some suspect he might have sympathies for certain antisemitic Black leaders. Some are worried that he will make Mahmoud Ahmadinejad his Vice President. And basically, the Jews who think these things think them because Obama's black. Is that unfair? Yes. To everyone. But seriously, the man has never said a discouraging word about Israel and his demeanor and political style is notable in its opposition to older, more radical Black leaders. Still. Jews are paranoid people! And it doesn't help that they're all being encouraged to be scared of Obama. More »
the internet
GodTube: "Man Watching Porn Caught By Jesus"
Godless Gothamites, meet GodTube, which according to the Times was the Web's fastest-growing site when unveiled in August and which just garnered a $30 million hedge fund investment. It's sort of like YouTube, except all videos are pre-screened by site operators in Plano, Texas; you can't promote religions other than Christianity and you can't mock Christianity, which makes sense since "God" is obviously synonymous with "Christian God" (*cough*). The whole operation is of course destined to implode when the new hedge fund investors push for less censorship to goose traffic and ads for items a bit more risque than "Bible software and degrees from online universities," but in the meantime enjoy this GodTube clip of a man "caught" looking at porn by Jesus. (In the interest of religous plurality I did run a seach for "porn" on JewTube and the only hits remotely responsive included one titled "Neil Diamond And Carol Burnett", which I refuse to watch, and this video of two Jewish supermodels in bikinis backed by a Biggie Smalls song.) More »
who makes the nazis
Antisemitism: Cool Again!
When we were young, we assumed "The Hamptons" had something to do with a cartoon pig—now we are older and wiser and we know that it's a place on Long Island where rich people go, even though they can surely afford to go somewhere other than Long Island. Turns out, they're just going there to get away from all the goddamn Jews! More »
feuds
Bushes Don't Want Jew Fashion Scion At Jenna Wedding
President Bush's parents George and Barbara just want what's best for their WASPy descendants, particularly on the occasion of the wedding of their beloved, dignified granddaughter Jenna. That's why they don't want David Lauren, son of Ralph Lauren, to attend. See, David has been dating Jenna's cousin Lauren Bush for three whole years, and still hasn't proposed marriage. "Where's the ring, David?" one source near the family told the Daily News. Also, he's an ancient 36 and she's an innocent 22. And, no doubt worst of all for the patrician Bushes, David Lauren is a Jew, and his Jewy-ness might infect precious Lauren: More »
exclusive
Christian TV: "Bibleman" vs. a New York Jew
In journalist/blogger Daniel Radosh's upcoming Rapture Ready, he investigates the parallel universe of Christian Pop Culture. It's kinda like regular pop culture, except holier and with slightly worse production values. He says the music's not as bad as you think, but from the looks of this EXCLUSIVE VIDEO, the TV is sublimely ridiculous, if a bit, uh, totally offensive. It's from a TV show called Bibleman, which airs on Trinity Broadcasting Network. In this installment, Bibleman takes on a smarmy talk show host named Sammy Davey, who happens to be an embarrassingly exaggerated Jewish stereotype. Sammy Davey—played by a man in a ridiculous Jewfro wig doing an impression of Martin Short doing an impression of Jerry Lewis—totally ambushes Bibleman, the Christian superhero who apparently doesn't fight evil so much as appear on talk shows to explain why bad things happen to good people. (Hint: because New Yorkers are Jews who don't believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ.) The whole thing is basically Randy Newman's "Rednecks" come to life, with Bibleman in the Lester Maddox role. Click through to read an explanatory excerpt from Rapture Ready and to watch the the astounding clip. More »
porn
Holocaust Porn! (And Other Taboos)
Opening today at New York's Film Forum: Stalags, a new documentary about pornographic paperbacks that were quite popular in Israel in the 1960s. They took place in Nazi concentration camps. They were full of pervy sado-masochism. They made the Holocaust sound like kinky fun. They were written by, and for, Israeli Jews, under American-sounding pseudonyms. The books were all about male prisoners being raped and tortured by "curvaceous female Nazi guards." The film argues that they perhaps helped Israeli Jews "discuss" the Holocaust for the first time since the war ended. So: Holocaust porn, for Holocaust survivors. Surely this beats cancer jokes for uncomfortable discussion topics. How does it stand up against American Marines killing puppies? What does it mean that as a culture it took us almost a decade longer to laugh about the Holocaust than to jerk off to it? [NYT]
broadcasting
Jewish Ad Banned For Scary Missile Scene
The American Jewish Committee wanted to run a pro-Israel ad on classical radio station WQXR in New York. The ad's opening line is "Imagine you had 15 seconds to find shelter from an incoming missile." The station decided not to run the ad, despite the fact that it has plenty of Jewish listeners. The reason, according to the station's GM? "First, the opening line . . . does not make clear that the potential target of the missile is not our listening area, and as a consequence, runs the risk of raising anxiety in a misleading way." Good to see the radio industry has learned its lesson after that whole "War of the Worlds" fiasco in 1938! This is also why old people should not be allowed to listen to the radio. [NYP]
stuff white people like
Stuff Young Jews Like Means It's Officially A Meme
It's at least the fourth imitator of viral website Stuff White People Like, but Stuff Jewish Young Adults Like is actually pretty funny, in part because it's still young enough that you can read the whole site in like 15 minutes. That young jews liked "Writing for Television" and "Taking Christ's Name In Vain" I kind of figured, but "Ultimate Frisbee?" This goy had no idea. More examples: More »
the jews
Eliot Spitzer: Shanda fur die Goyim
And he could have been the first Jewish president! Eliot Spitzer, (still) governor of New York State, is weighing his resignation following his tryst with a shiksa prostitute. Though the idea of a Jewish president is great, let's be real: The guy was way too bald to ever make it into the Oval Office, regardless of his foreskin status. Some have blamed the Portnoy's Complaint instinct for this mess, but honestly, if this affair shows anything, it's that Jews are just like any other politicians, only occasionally more so. More »
britney spears
