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gossip roundup
Britney Spears: Almost a Jew
Britney is converting to Judaism, Gwyneth is brainwashing her GOOP death cult into thinking that a cleansed colon is the way to God, Jeremy Piven preaches the horrors of fish and Katy Perry frolics in a bikini in Turkey. More » -
controversies
Pukey Pug Hugger or Kooky Jew Boo-er?
Yesterday, Chrissie Brodigan said she was manhandled by a cop and arrested just because her pug dog threw up on the L train. But the cop says she's a raving anti-Semite! Let's explore this breathtakingly minor controversy.
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Jewish Shouting
'The Ringtone of Choice Among Hip Literary Types This Summer'
This wailing ringtone featuring a horsey Philip Roth sample is still better than anything Moby came up with for New York magazine. Of course, the joke is that there are no "hip literary types." [Guardian] -
crazies
John Birch Society Not Fooled by Past 40 Years of History
Despite the Illuminati-supported ascension of a Negro Communist to America's throne, the John Birch Society continues to boldly exist, and do things, such as oppose the New World Order, from a strip mall in Wisconsin. More » -
Sulzbergheir
Young Sulzberger Meets Evangelical Christian Nazis in Central Park
Wow. NY Times heir A.G. "The Future" Sulzberger is really having to earn his stripes. Last weekend he was dispatched to cover the Puerto Rican Day parade, and this weekend he covered the Jew/gay-haters from Westboro Baptist Church. More » -
idiots
Conservatives Blame Liberals and Muslims for Holocaust Museum Shooting
One of the things we've been waiting all day to see in the aftermath of the shooting today at the Holocaust Museum was how the conservatives would spin the incident. Now, thanks to Glenn Beck and Debbie Schlussel, we know. More » -
recessionomics
No Free Passes for Asses
The Way We Live Now: Without pity. You're a crocodile? Now you're a handbag. You're fat? Buy an extra airline seat. You're Jewish? Sammy Davis Jr.'s menorah isn't fucking free, you know. More » -
redacted
Why Did the Huffington Post Censor the Jewish Obama Hate Speech Video?
So: remember that terrible, shocking video of the awful frat-tards spewing racial epithets, screaming and trashing President Barack Obama in ways so debase, they're really not even worth quoting here? Well, The Huffington Post actually censored it. Why? More » -
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outrage
Some Young Jews Are Not Fans of Obama
The night before Barack Obama's Cairo speech, Max Blumenthal took to the streets of Jerusalem to ask young Israelis and American Jews what they thought of Obama. Blumenthal calls the results "the most shocking footage I have ever filmed."
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oops
American Girl Doll Is Anarcho-Hippie Terrorista!
When the American Girl corporation had to pick a name for its new Jewish Girl doll, they went with: "The name of an Earth Liberation Front enviro-terrorist arsonist wanted by the FBI." Hey, that's racist. More » -
crime
Wesleyan Shooter Fits Archetype: Anti-Semitic, Misogynistic, Angry
The New York Times dropped a comprehensive profile on Wesleyan shooter Stephen P. Morgan this morning. And yes: he's exactly who you think he is.
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recessionomics
Sensitive Gay Porn Technology Smuggled to Israel
Sure, American companies can't make reliable cars or financial instruments, but we still rule at exporting narcissistic media like reality television shows. And now, a Gothamite sodomite semite is taking Israel's gay porn virginity. More » -
passed over
Jews Angry at Not Being Invited to Barack's Power Seder
Barack Obama is having a seder in the White House tonight. Boy, are the Jews pissed. Because of course they all wanted to come and then complained about not being invited. More » -
viral
Next Year in Jerusalem, Without the Matzoh Crumbs
Did you totally screw up the breaking of the matzoh at your Passover seder last night? Don't worry, there's one more chance to get it right tonight, courtesy of the Japanese! More » -
passover
What Won't Be Served at Barack Obama's Seder?
How is tomorrow different from all other nights? The sitting president is having a seder! (Bush couldn't handle the four glasses of fruity European wine, obv.) Here are some things Obama probably won't be serving: More » -
anti-semitism
'Good Thing Madoff Robbed Jews,' Think Non-Jews
As if it wasn't bad enough that Bernie Madoff went and took millions from wealthy Jewish people in Palm Beach and then made it disappear, it seems some gentiles down there are happy about it! More » -
security
Israeli Security Forces Detain Blogger For Terrifying Textual Criticism
Are you an American Jew considering a move to Israel? Good for you! Hope you haven't ever blogged any mild criticisms of Israeli policy, though! More » -
journalismism
Reporter Just Can't Resist Asking Obama For His Autograph
One way to become the opposite of a respected White House correspondent is to hit up the president for an autograph, then get yanked away by the Secret Service. But uh...a kid made him do it! More » -
obamarahma
Rahm's Mom Wishes He Was a Pretty, Pretty Ballerina
Sexy-yet-crazed stabber Rahm Emanuel says he disappointed his mom by not becoming a dancer. But this behind-the-scenes photo, from the New York Times Magazine photo shoot, shows he's still trying to make his mama proud.
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public relations
Coffee That Tastes Like the Holocaust
It's good for a company to have a slogan that stands out. But it's bad for a company to have a slogan that stands out because it was also a concentration camp slogan. More » -
crime
Bernie Madoff, Very Bad for the Jews
Hedge fund hustler Bernie Madoff made $50 billion in wealth evaporate—much of it from some of America's richest Jews. Does this fact have a greater significance? We'll say... yes(?)
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Bernie Madoff
Hedge Fund Hustler Roundup: The Rich Now Poor
Time for an up-to-date roundup on the nifty story of Bernie Madoff, the Wall Street titan accused yesterday of running a $50 billion Ponzi scheme. Bathrobes! Big shots! And plenty of broke Jews, below!
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culture wars
Hey Jews: Sorry About The Christmas Tree!
"New [White House Hannukah] invites went out yesterday with a menorah on them and a note saying, 'Please accept our apologies.'" [Page Six, Previously] -
race-baiting
Jewish Scapegoating Spread By Opponents Of Jewish Scapegoating
A nasty little internet troll may recently have sent you an email with the subject line, " 'Jews Have Ruined Our Country.'" But the message didn't come from an anti-semite; it came from the Anti-Defamation League, which is trying to prevent Jews from being blamed for the financial crisis, by spreading blame for the financial crisis to Jews. The idea, of course, is to drum up preemptive outrage among recipients of the mass email by quoting some bigots. Trouble is, the inflammatory subject line is pretty much all they got. More » -
culture wars
White House War on Hanukkah!
Can still-president George W. Bush continue to wow us with asinine mistakes with a mere two months left in his presidency when he's so clearly checked out already? If his upcoming Hanukkah party is any indication, he's still got it! Attached, his invitation to the White House Hanukkah reception, sent to Jewish leaders across the nation. As you can see, the invite shows a Clydesdale delivering the traditional "Hanukkah Tree" to a White House decorated top to bottom in Hanukkah wreaths. Ha ha ha they just don't care.
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we hate your children
Surprisingly, 'Bring A Fit Jew' Rugby Party Offensive To Some
Antisemitism in Europe has been on a curious and troubling upswing for the past few years, mostly in central Europe, but now it's moving its way west. Some charming under-21 rugby players at Oxford (that's in England) decided to throw a party with a "bring a fit Jew" theme. The young men put on fake payot and carried around bags of money for the fun, splashy event. The University found out and tried to block it, but the kids sneaked their way around it and had the party anyway. The captain of the team, a lad named Phil Boon, has commented on behalf of the students: More » -
rahm emanuel
Obama Already Palling Around With Terrorists!
Have you heard of Rahm Emanuel? He's just announced that he'll be Barack Obama's new White House enforcer! Or "Chief of Staff" as they call it "inside the Beltway." Rahm only has nine fingers, and there were rumors, once, that he lost the tenth to a Syrian tank while serving in the Israeli Army. That rumor is false—he lost it to a meat slicer—but Rahm's dad did serve the Israeli cause. As a terrorist!
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public relations
Ronn Torossian: "I think we should kill a hundred Arabs or a thousand Arabs"
28 million swing state residents got a special gift with their newspapers recently! An hour-long DVD called Obsession: Radical Islam's War Against the West was tucked in with papers thanks to Clarion Fund, a nonprofit group established by a radical right-wing Israelis dedicated to making Americans scared of Muslims. And hah, incompetent superflack Ronn [sic] Torossian is behind it all! More » -
attack ads
Money-Grubbing New York Senator Invades Kentucky, Builds Museum For Hippies
Hey, is this Mitch McConnell campaign ad a little odd, or is it just us? Mitch is a Senator running for reelection. Schumer is a Senator too. So far, so good. But the thing is, McConnell is running in Kentucky, and Schumer is not running in Kentucky. So it's just weird that McConnell's ad would be all about how this NEW YORK Senator is spending all this MONEY on building museums for hippies, and illegal immigrants, and also presumably shining his diamond collection. Also the voice over guy... his accent is a bit... ethnic. Just what is Mitch McConnell trying to suggest, exactly? Can anyone enlighten us??? Full ad after the jump. More » -
Listicle
'Haaretz' Lists Jews Who Control America
Well isn't this handy! Israeli daily newspaper Haaretz has produced a list of the 36(!) Jews "who have shaped the 2008 U.S. election." That is a lot of them! It really takes so many to run the world? This is not even all the Jews involved in deciding who will next lead this glorious Christian nation! "But the Jewish vote remains a key element in battleground states, and, playing a wide variety of roles, Jews have helped to shape the campaigns. Thirty-six of them are mentioned below. This list is by no means all-inclusive, and, for considerations of space, many Jews who have played active parts in the campaigns do not appear," Haaretz explains. Still, it is nice of them to provide in one convenient location all the people who the crazies will blame for stealing the election next month. Streisand! (Listed: the original Lehman brother who is long dead. Not listed: all the other evil Wall Street people who burned all the money.) [Haaretz] -
the jews
No One At Sarah Silverman's Obama Schlep, Including Sarah Silverman
So of the seven million people who watched Sarah Silverman's Web video promoting "the Great Schlep" to Florida to convince Jewish grandparents to vote for Barack Obama, how many do you think actually made it to the kickoff trek? Try 100, and from the sound of things in the Times this morning, half of them didn't even have any relatives down there to begin with, so they ended up just lecturing random elderly people, like this guy. What is Sarah Silverman, chopped liver?? Actually, it doesn't matter, since the comedian didn't even show up herself, so you can't exactly blame her fans for doing likewise. There are three more weekends left, prospective schleppers, assuming your grandparents haven't already mailed in an absentee ballot. If you do make the trip, don't forget to bring the official talking points, including the ones about how Obama is a very safe type of black person: More » -
andy martin
Fox's Obama Expert Fears Jews
Andy Martin is the habitual politician and "researcher" who created the original smear of Barack Obama as a secret Muslim in a 2004 press release, begetting a mutating series of email forwards still coursing through the internet. Last week, he was featured in a Fox News special that, in the words of the Times, "allowed Mr. Martin to assert falsely and without challenge that Mr. Obama had once trained to overthrow the government." But, hey, Martin isn't just worried about Obama and Islam, he's also deathly afraid of the Jews! The Times' Jim Ruttenberg dug into Martin's anti-Semitisim in this morning's paper after Martin tried to deny and brush off the issue last week:
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race
Race And the Bailout Bill
What role did race play in the crisis that led to the proposed bailout? What role did it play in the defeat of the bailout? The first topic has been argued and discussed for a while now—with vicious theories first proposed by far-out wackos bubbling up to "respectable" media people and even some congress members. But today brought a number of more reasoned responses to those who'd "blame the Blacks" explicitly or implicitly. The second question, though, hasn't been touched on. How did black congresspeople vote? And, uh, what about the Jews? You can see the result in that handy chart above, along with an explanation of What It Means. (It's not purely pointless provocation.)
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history
Palin Quoted Antisemitic Author in RNC Speech
Sarah Palin scares the Jews! From her crazy Jew-converting church to emails your grandmother is receiving right now, it's clear that America's Jews are nervous about this woman. Just ask Ed Koch! This won't help: remember Palin's address to the Republican National Convention? That bit of speechcraft so inspiring that it is already being taught in schools alongside Dr. King's Dream Speech and Billy Crystal's second Oscars monologue? It turns out one of its few memorable non-Obama-attacking lines was lifted from an old anti-Semite so extreme that he was booted from the John Birch Society.
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campaigns
Sarah Palin Scares Ed Koch
Ed Koch, lovable weird old probably gay former New York mayor, is a Democrat, yes, and wrote a book about how much he hated Rudy Giuliani, but lately he's been talking a lot about how great the Bush administration is (when he is not reviewing movies), so most people assumed he'd endorse ol' John McCain for president this year. But then something funny happened! McCain selected this woman named Sarah Palin to be his Vice President. So today, Koch endorsed Barack Obama! What's up with that? More » -
campaigns
Will Sarah Palin Scare the Jews?
We think the conventional wisdom, now, is that Sarah Palin is a cynical appeal not to Hillary voters but to the Republican "base," which means religious white people. It's a last-ditch effort to win just one more with George W. Bush's coalition, not to bring in those moderates John McCain supposedly appeals to most. But here's the risk: the old, conservative Jewish vote McCain's had in the bag since day one? They might not like this lady so much. As you can see in this clip (attached below), even Ben Stein—the Nixon speechwriter so happy to pretend to be something other than an educated East Coast elitist that he'll hop in bed with creationists—is insulted and shocked by the Palin pick. This is just the beginning. The New York Sun, that probably doomed organ of intellectual Zionist conservatism, seemingly also can't quite believe this selection. Allow them to tell you about Sarah Palin's grand plans for The Jews!
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the jews
The Knitted Hitler Should Have Been Stopped At Munich
Well there goes the semiotic neighborhood. Rachel Matthews, a "celebrity knitter," has kicked up quite a kerfuffle in the UK for writing a book on how to knit historical tyrants. She's got Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein and—because to leave him out would have been unthinkable—Adolf Hitler. The ever excitable Abe Foxman of the Anti-Defamation League pulled this sheaf of prefab outrage right off the roll: "To popularize a soft, knit version of Hitler insults the memory of those who died in the Holocaust, the survivors, and those who fought against the Nazis." Not to mention what it does to the image of a pastime beloved by harmless bubbes everywhere. Is it just me or does the Knitler (thank you, I'm here all week) look a little big-hipped and sassy in a "talk to the sieg hail, girlfriend" sorta way? After the jump, knitters united respond: More » -
music
Morrissey In Israel
Ehud Olmert is resigning as premier of Israel due to corruption charges and a universal displeasure with his governance, but the real news from the holy land is that Morrissey has arrived. Oh, the things Obama could learn about pop superstardom from the Pope of Mope, who landed at Ben Gurion Airport on Sunday for his first concert tour of the region. Israeli newswire Ynet was all over the arrival, and already my in-box overfloweth with lines about the "Moziach." (Ask Krucoff, he'll know.) If you're a Smiths fan of the Semitic persuasion, this touch-down is especially significant as Morrissey is still shepherding some of us through the big-haired awkward years. [Ynet]






































