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Wed Dec 23
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Israeli Group Waging Actual War on Christmas
In the United States, the "War on Christmas" is a weird fantasy in which people pretend that the mere acknowledgment of other religious/ethnic traditions is an attack on Christianity/American Values. In Israel, though, the War on Christmas is real. More »Brooklyn's Hottest Stereotypes in Battle of Bike Lane Martyrs
Yes, you New York ignoramuses. There are in fact Jews in Montana.
Andrea Peyser, Lesbian Racist
Katie Couric Reveals Who Really Controls the Media
Katie Couric made a list of the "most powerful" people in media for Forbes and they're all... Jews. Kidding, only six of 11 are Jews. The real power belongs to computer nerds. Couric mentioned zero old media people. More »In Which Dan Baum Annoys Every Jew He Knows
Any mass email with the subject line "Jews" is going to be trouble. That is an ironclad rule. So Dan Baum, the famously former New Yorker writer, should've maybe rethought this one. More »Questionnaire: Are You a Jew?
Jon Gosselin's Public Shot at Forgiveness With Celebrity-Obsessed Rabbi Shmuley
Jon Gosselin and The Jews: A Match Made In Zion
Wow. Do we have a special one today. Jon Gosselin, seeking help from a rabbi. Alex Rodriguez thinks he's a centaur. Jessica Simpson's man requirements. Lady Gaga's ballet. RobPatz's marriage prospects. Presenting your epic Halloween Morning Gossip Roundup. Get scared: More »South Carolina GOP: Senator DeMint Is Like a Jew Watching Our Nation’s Pennies
Two South Carolina County Republican Party chairmen defended Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) by likening him to Jews who "take care of the pennies." More »Mediaite's Rachel Sklar('s boobs): currently in Israel trying to secure Entebbe, or something.
Rich Fat Baseball Players Steal America's Money and Food
The Way We Live Now: Drunk, hungry, and resentful. Governments want liquor companies—but why not Jewish delis? Baseball teams pay lots of money to good baseball players, sure—why not to me? Is that fair? And where's my sandwich? More »Maybe Jewish Iranian President Ahmadinejad Now Has Power To Nuke His Guilty Past
Two fun facts on stylish Jersey-Shore-via-Tehran Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: 1. He might be Jewish. 2. Iran is now definitely capable of producing a working nuclear bomb that could basically wipe his maybe-Yid Israeli relatives out of existence. Fun! More »Powerful Maybe-Muslim Sends Secret Message to Liberal Jewish Conspiracy's Ramadan
I can hear it. I hear it between the lines, man. Obama's talking to The Jews, celebrating their version of Ramadan, when they munch on their eucalyptus-like crack-snacks and plot 2010's media domination. Want to know what he's really saying? More »The Latest Iconic 'Jews With Guns'
Campy Jewish Self-Defense Squad to the rescue! Of the news cycle! Where does today's instantly classic New York Post cover of NYC's most self-serious gun-totin' rabbis rank in the canon of Pop Culture Jews With Guns? More »Gawker guest editor Natasha VC, doing retrospective reviews of bar/bat mitzvahs she's been to.
Dawn of the Chimpanzee! (Relax Folks, They're Just a Metaphor)
Remember the Unspiked Files? We had almost forgotten, too! It's where we reprint worthy pieces killed by editors. Today, we have a first: a comic! Specifically, Eli Valley's Too-Hot-for-The-Forward comic comparing chimps and Israelis, metaphorically speaking. More »NY Observer Letter-Writer's Innovative Ideas About Print, Horses, Jared Kushner, And The Jews
Every publication enjoys the "pleasure" of hearing from their readerships often, but especially from crazies, who love to write in. Today, someone's helpful ideas for the beleaguered, layoff-happy New York Observer, involving Jews, horses, and the "Heroic Destiny Squad." More »Britney Spears: Almost a Jew
Britney is converting to Judaism, Gwyneth is brainwashing her GOOP death cult into thinking that a cleansed colon is the way to God, Jeremy Piven preaches the horrors of fish and Katy Perry frolics in a bikini in Turkey. More »Pukey Pug Hugger or Kooky Jew Boo-er?
'The Ringtone of Choice Among Hip Literary Types This Summer'
This wailing ringtone featuring a horsey Philip Roth sample is still better than anything Moby came up with for New York magazine. Of course, the joke is that there are no "hip literary types." [Guardian]