Our favorite five bon mots:

5. "The story is told in a fluid, seemingly effort­less manner. Neither showy nor dull, the text has that feeling of giving you the right words in the right order with the right pacing," says Amy Krouse Rosenthal about Jon Agee's The Retired Kid. Chills, Amy.

4. In his review of Doreen Rappaport's Lady Liberty, James McMullan breaks out the big guns: "The book also provides several pages of facts about the statue and its history: important events, selected sources, an author’s note and an illustrator’s note. This added material seems totally appropriate for the smart, practical kid I can imagine poring over this volume." Don't push us too far, James. We don't want to hear this semiotics bullshit. Stick to the here and now.

3. Some of the best moments happen when the critic is forced to really tear into the author, as when John Green writes of Susan Beth Pfeffer's The Dead and the Gone, "Some of the plot seems more symbolically resonant than realistic — Alex, for instance, takes coats and shoes from dead people to trade for food, and it’s hard to imagine a shoe shortage in a mostly depopulated Manhattan." A shoe shortage is what he doesn't find believable. I hope he doesn't start reading The Retired Kid.

2. We feel for Becca Zerkin, who is given the heady task of reviewing alphabet books. Her opening line is "If only life were as tidy as an alphabet book." No words.

1.: The big prize has to go to children's book critic Leonard S. Marcus, author of Minders of Make-Believe: Idealists, Entrepreneurs, and the Shaping of American Children’s Literature. In his review of The Monster Who Ate Darkness, he summarizes the villain in the following fashion: "But to a small child the dark can be palpably real, a malleable and at times sinister medium, and the suggestion that a monster might exert a beneficial influence in a small child’s world is one that brims with possibilities." Amazing, Leonard. You may collect your prize.

"i read the article in the new york times today and i think it is atrocious!!! This is one for Mary Cotter and Cindy to respond to. They made it sound like it was 'fun' to shoot or kill these animals. I am really surprised as the NY times!!! Horrible. What happened to respecting all life and learning to co exist! I am appalled!"
the story is No.2 most popular and has 350 comments... photo still
there, but at least is not on the homepage anymore. 

"i have also called (of course they don't answer calls) and e-mailed the public editor to demand the photo be taken down immediately. i cc'd my attorney and susan richmond of spca. would love to sue them for something like this if there was a way. you can reach the public editor Clark Hoyt, public@nytimes.com or
call 212.556.7652. the ignorance of using this photo really and truly astounds me."

"thanks sent letter to the public editor...In addition to removing the picture I asked for a retraction as well as a researched follow up article that appropriately honors the companionship House Rabbits provide to millions of humans. i certrainly hope HRS and all its chapters as well as Humane Society and local and national ASPCA use their influence and address this article as well. Although I was appalled by some of the comments in a way a bold reminder of the challenges other species face in the hands of many humans."

[NYT]

"I can say that your correspondent is off the mark on the substance, the drivers, the mood, and the implications. We're all pretty excited about the new direction, me included.

"I would only observe that we have a large and loyal readership in the New York suburbs, a bigger one than in the five boroughs. But those people mostly aren't reading the Times for detailed local coverage of suburban New Jersey and Connecticut. And such stories will not be what keeps Metro thriving and relevant in an era when the Times is a national and global platform.

"I know people like to dance on our grave out there, but this is a good and positive thing, not a cheap metaphor for decline."

"In recent weeks, some analysts have started to talk about prices rising to $200 a barrel. But not everyone is so glum. Some experts say that today’s prices have resulted from a speculative bubble that is increasingly disconnected from reality. Energy economists at Lehman Brothers argue, for instance, that oil prices are just as likely to fall to $80 a barrel as they are to rise to $200 a barrel." [NYT]

"Sleep was impossible. The bench was hard, the room cold and noisy. Near dawn, one of the bribed night crew, fearing his supervisors, rousted us from the bench and hastily herded us upstairs into an unlighted empty cage. 'You can’t be found wearing your socks,' he warned urgently. 'It’s not allowed. You can’t wear more than one shirt either. Hide these things.'

"The heavy bars then clanged shut; a padlock clicked. We couldn’t really observe the surroundings until morning, when the first sliver of sunlight pierced the one narrow window at the ceiling.

"The cell was about 7 feet wide and 15 feet deep. Three bare shelves of rough concrete extended a body’s length from both of the longer walls. Only the top slab left enough space for a person to sit upright, albeit with slouched shoulders. There was a circle of concrete in a corner to be used as a toilet. Behind it was a faucet. Stephen tried the knob. It did not work.

"The floor was filthy. The odor of human waste infected the air. More bothersome were the bugs. 'Cockroaches the size of skateboards,' I quipped. This was hyperbole. The insects were mostly tiny and black, others short, white and wormy. We were soon sharing our clothes with them." [NYT]

"One allegedly occurred after Billy called a boy who had just moved from Germany and whose mother had just died of cancer a 'gay [expletive ] German' and then called his 'deceased mother a vulgar name.' Another incident allegedly occurred after Billy pushed another student. Billy was accused of picking on other kids, stealing, and intimidating those that he picked on against telling the teacher."

Blogger Jay P. Greene, who lives in Wolfe's town and whose kids go to the school featured in the Times article, further notes, "But the NYT article by Dan Barry makes no mention of the police report or the details contained in it. Nor did Dan Barry’s reporting uncover any of the information from the interviews contained in the Northwest Arkansas Times article. Instead, Barry simply writes, 'It remains unclear why Billy became a target…' He also declares, '[Billy] has received a few suspensions for misbehavior, though none for bullying.' It seems the NYT reporter either somehow missed the existence of the police report or decided not to include its contents in his piece. Either way, it is very sloppy reporting. I sent an email to the Public Editor of the NYT asking if Barry had seen the police report, and, if he had seen it, why he chose not to include it in his article. Other than a form letter I’ve received no reply."

Take, for instance, the tragic case of a 22-year-old Brooklyn-based blogboy Matt Buchanan, who writes for something called Gizmodo. "He says he sleeps about five hours a night and often does not have time to eat proper meals. But he does stay fueled—by regularly consuming a protein supplement mixed into coffee."

"But make no mistake: Mr. Buchanan, a recent graduate of New York University, loves his job. He said he gets paid to write (he will not say how much) while interacting with readers in a global conversation about the latest and greatest products."

“'The fact I have a few thousand people a day reading what I write — that’s kind of cool,' he said. And, yes, it is exhausting. Sometimes, he said, 'I just want to lie down.'” And so he does—on the job! “'If I don’t hear from him, I’ll think: Matt’s passed out again,' said Brian Lam, the editor of Gizmodo. 'It’s happened four or five times.'" But will these bloggy sweatshops really kill a nerd?

"To be sure, there is no official diagnosis of death by blogging, and the premature demise of two people obviously does not qualify as an epidemic. There is also no certainty that the stress of the work contributed to their deaths. But friends and family of the deceased, and fellow information workers, say those deaths have them thinking about the dangers of their work style." [NYT]

Oh snap... I'd better post this shit before everyone beats me to it! But... getting... diz

While many thespians of his generation were students of the naturalistic "Method" school of acting, Heston would have none of that pussy crap, and prided himself on being a Movie Star who could win at yelling and hit the mark without tripping over the scenery. And scenery feared him. Because he could eat the hell out of it. But his style was wonderfully suited to the roles he chose. There is little room for subtlety when you're damning the maniacs who blew up the earth! Or when you're confronted by damned dirty apes! And no one's in the mood for James Dean's sissy-boy whining when you've just found out that your favorite snack is made out of people! I Am Legend? Heston's Omega Man would have ripped Will Smith's face off right off it's silly skull.

Sadly, Heston's last prominent role was as himself in Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine. Moore wanted to debate Heston over his appearance at an NRA rally in Flint, Michigan, in the wake of a six-year-old boy shooting a six-year-old girl to death there. Nobody won.

Another crunchy green poser ripe for slaughter when civilization takes a powder "is Alex Steffen, the executive editor of www.wWorldchanging.com, a Web site devoted to sustainability. With only slight irony, Mr. Steffen, 40, said he and his girlfriend could serve as 'poster children for the well-adjusted, urban liberal survivalist,' given that they keep a six-week cache of food and supplies in his basement in Seattle (although they polished off their bottle of doomsday whiskey at a party)."

Who else will provide forced labor while we munch up their tasty supplies? "Joyce Jimerson of Bellingham, Wash., a coordinator for a recycling-composting program affiliated with Washington State University... ma[d]e her yard an 'edible garden,' with fruit trees and vegetables, in case supplies are threatened by oil shortages, climate change or economic collapse. 'It’s all the same ball of wax, as far as I’m concerned,' she said."

Okay, friends. We've got names and locations. The List has begun! [NYT]

"One Obama adviser moaned that the race was 'beginning to feel like a hostage crisis' and would probably go on for another month to six weeks. And Obama said that the 'God, when will this be over?' primary season was like 'a good movie that lasted about a half an hour too long.' Hillary sunnily riposted that she likes long movies. Her favorite as a girl was 'The Wizard of Oz,' so surely she spots the 'Surrender Dorothy' sign in the sky and the bad portent of the ladies of 'The View' burbling to Obama about how sexy he is." Okay, case closed.

"But who knows? Obama and Bob Casey talking March Madness to the patrons of Sharky’s sports cafe in Latrobe, Pa., on Friday night seemed demographically clever. But it is always when Hillary is pushed back by the boys that women help hoist her up." Note to all you young journos eager to someday be this relevant: Cover all bases. [NYT]

"A picture last Sunday with an essay about a crack house in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, was published in error. The three houses in the picture are on the same street as the crack house, but none of the three figured in the essay." The photo's been removed from the original article online. Good thing we grabbed it. [NYT]

By mealtime, many cooks will be tired of hovering over the turkey and ready to unload it, but just try to find a taker.

"One year my 13-year-old nephew, Josh, was the only one willing to take it on," said Nissa Goldstein, a retired teacher in West Hartford, Conn. "Of course, everyone was shouting instructions at him, and he ended up locking himself in his room and refusing to come out."

But Josh isn't alone; the turkey terror lurks everywhere! "One year the turkey took a long time to cook and I went to carve it after about 13 beers," said Maurice Landry, who lives near Lake Charles, LA. "The way I remember it, I bore down to take off the leg and the whole thing went shooting off the platter and knocked over the centerpiece." Indeed, why wield a knife at all if you aren't a little bit buzzed?

With the proof of a problem's existence established rather indisputably by just two "One year..." recollections, Moskin moves on to the meat of her story. The Goldsteins and Landrys aren't heard from again—which makes one wonder: how exactly were these folks from "West Hartford" and "Lake Charles" identified as prime sources on holidays hysteria? And who's making sure they stay in treatment for good this time?

Butcher's Method Takes Carving Off the Table [NYT]

Best I can tell, because he sometimes reads The New Yorker and Slate, and the former recently published a much-discussed rumination by Sasha Frere-Jones about race and indie rock, a Carl Wilson rejoinder to which was published in the latter. Obviously, David Brooks doesn't know anything about indie rock—or hip-hop or punk—but that's okay, because David Brooks knows how to turn anything into a David Brooks column.

David Brooks also appears to know Steven Van Zandt, of the E Street Band, who he tells us "fell for the Beatles and discovered the blues and early rock music that inspired them." Of course, because cliches and commonplaces aren't ever deducted from the word count or pay check, David Brooks's account of rock music begins with the Beatles's 1964 appearance on Ed Sullivan. To be exact, it begins like this: "On Feb. 9, 1964, the Beatles played on 'The Ed Sullivan Show.'" Then there were the '70s, "a great moment for musical integration." But, then, at "some point toward the end of the 1970s or the early 1980s, the era of integration gave way to the era of fragmentation. There are now dozens of niche musical genres where there used to be this thing called rock."

It turns out that "people have been writing about the fragmentation of American music for decades." Here's where Brooks makes mention of the Frere-Jones/Wilson debate. But really, you see, people like Sasha Frere-Jones and Carl Wilson, who can name music acts besides the Beatles, Springsteen, the Rolling Stones, and U2 (who grew famous long after "the era of integration" ended, but who's counting?), miss the forest for the trees! No, Brooks, explains, what's going on now/happened twenty years ago (whatever!) to music is happening because:"Technology drives some of the fragmentation. Computers allow musicians to produce a broader range of sounds. Top 40 radio no longer serves as the gateway for the listening public. Music industry executives can use market research to divide consumers into narrower and narrower slices."

"But other causes flow from the temper of the times. It's considered inappropriate or even immoral for white musicians to appropriate African-American styles. And there's the rise of the mass educated class." And wait, back to little Stevie: he's starting a high-school curriculum about the history of American popular music. Why? "He argues that if the Rolling Stones came along now, they wouldn't be able to get mass airtime because there is no broadcast vehicle for all-purpose rock. And he says that most young musicians don't know the roots and traditions of their music. They don't have broad musical vocabularies to draw on when they are writing songs."

Alright, so popular music has splintered, and some people believe there are ways to unsplinter it. But, come on, why does David Brooks really care about Van Zandt's music-class plan? Could it be that a deadline is looming?

"It seems that whatever story I cover, people are anxious about fragmentation and longing for cohesion," he concludes. "This is the driving fear behind the inequality and immigration debates, behind worries of polarization and behind the entire Obama candidacy."

There you have it: the David Brooks pivot in all its glory. Basically: 'there are a lot of details and specificities and technicalities to all the things I hear about, but really there's one theme that runs through it all: I heard it.'

The Segmented Society [NYT]

So let me get this out of the way: As an employee, I'm enchanted with our new building on Eighth Avenue. The grand old 18-story neo-Gothic structure on 43rd Street, home to The New York Times for nearly a century, had its sentimental charms. But it was a depressing place to work. Its labyrinthine warren of desks and piles of yellowing newspapers were redolent of tradition but also seemed an anachronism.

Indeed, the de-paperification of newspapers looms large in Ouroussoff's review of a building that "comes to life when it hits the ground" but is "less than spectacular in the skyline" with the "menacing air" of its "battleship gray" steel frame and the "ragged and unfinished" effect of its "disappointing" crown. Because, hey, Modernism or whatever may be on life-support, but: "Journalism, too, has moved on. Reality television, anonymous bloggers, the threat of ideologically driven global media enterprises — such forces have undermined newspapers' traditional mission. Even as journalists at The Times adjust to their new home, they worry about the future. As advertising inches decline, the paper is literally shrinking; its page width was reduced in August. And some doubt that newspapers will even exist in print form a generation from now."

"Depending on your point of view, the Times Building can thus be read as a poignant expression of nostalgia or a reassertion of the paper's highest values as it faces an uncertain future. Or, more likely, a bit of both."

While it's unclear how Kid Nation will challenge the Grey Lady's supremacy as Truth, and—hi mom!—even Gawker posts ain't anonymous nomore, but the sentiments are Lever House-pure. Still, for a critic who tells us that "One of the joys of working in an ambitious new building is that you can watch its personality develop," Ouroussoff is tantalizingly demure about the real building components that deserve judgment regarding capital-"D" Design. That's right, not a word on the men's rooms. So, insiders, has architect Piano solved the problem, apparently endemic in corporate Manhattan, of urinals that either regularly disgorge their contents onto the tiles underneath or, um, encourage their users to "sell short"?

And the stalls: How wide of a stance are we talking about there?

Pride and Nostalgia Mix in the Times's New Home [NYT]

Well, this is what "Playing For Pizza" is about: "An American third-string quarterback joins the Italian National Football League's Parma Panthers." "To say that Italy—the land of opera, fine wines, extremely small cars, romance, and Football Americano— holds a few surprises for Rick Dockery would be something of an understatement," promises Doubleday's website. We'll bet!

Basically all this means is that if something says "John Grisham" on it, people will buy it absolutely no matter what. Which: Duh.

#2 is Alice Sebold's book club lady book "The Almost Moon," about a lady who kills her burdensomely ill mother. Everyone hates this book, but your mom and mine are still going to read it. Got a problem with that? You know what you can do.

#3 is Ken Follett's enormous historical novel "World Without End," which people are reading because they, like me, like their medieval novels as smutty as possible. You know what word is in this book a lot? "Cunny." Hot, right?

There aren't too many surprises elsewhere on the list. "A Thousand Splendid Suns," the second of Khaled Hosseini's "vitamin books" (books people buy to assuage their guilt for not knowing anything about Afghanistan/some other afflicted region), is down a spot to #4. "Run," Ann Patchett's lauded latest, is down to slot 11, from 8 last week. Otherwise, it's all schlocky thrillers and paranormal mysteries.

Oh! At #13 there's a book called "The Orc King." "The dark elf Drizzt Do'Urden seeks vengeance against the orcs; the first book of a new trilogy, Transitions." YES. YES PLEASE.

And at #17 on the extended list is Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky's new translation of "War and Peace," which has convinced a lot of people that they are finally going to get around to reading "War and Peace." Hey, I am! As soon as I finish finding out what Drizzt Do'Urden is up to.

There was a small fire on the 2nd floor this morning, apparently the result of someone putting a metal container in the microwave. People nearby were startled by seeing flames; then someone incorrectly attempted to use water to douse the fire, something that is clearly dangerous. Signage is going up by all the microwaves to use paper, ceramic or plastic containers. Building operations folks asked for a reminder against the use of metal containers.

MY 18-year-old daughter recently perfected a new technique to avoid the stress of packing for college.

Her system consisted mostly of lying on her bed and watching me pack for her. That was fine with me, since it was possibly my last opportunity to interfere with her life — and to see what she kept in her drawers — before she left home.

"Do you want to take this empty beer bottle with you?" I asked, gingerly holding it between pincer fingers.

"Get out of my closet," she said.