Here are ten photos from the past year, proving that fist jabs have overcome their scary, black-person-centric origins and flowered into a glorious tableau of diversity. Most notably, as you will see, the Obamas have learned to make whites accepting of pounds by employing a clever strategy: giving pounds to white people, which inevitably gives the receiver an irresistible momentary shudder of coolness. (Although black people still enjoy pounds, as well!) Media experts have been unable to determine where the Obamas may have learned the art of the "Fist Bump," though white scholars are determined to track it back to its murky origins. Enjoy.

The gross display of radical sexuality that started it all. Pic: Getty.

In West Virginia, with an Iraq vet. Pic: Getty.

In Washington, with LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. Pic: Getty.

In North Carolina, with Governor Mike Easley. Pic: Getty.

In the White House, with senior staffer Pete Rouse. Pic: Getty.

In Baghdad, with soldiers. Pic: Getty.

At the Naval Academy graduation. Pic: AP.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.At Arizona State's graduation. Pic: AP.

Michelle with some lucky nerd at a DC dinner. Pic: Getty.

With terrorist child. Pic: AP.

[More celebration at The Root]

She entertains visitors from Chicago. She attends White House dinners and concerts hosted by her daughter, the first lady, Michelle Obama. She dines at local restaurants and delights in events at the Kennedy Center, where she often sits in the president's box and chats with performers.

The Obamas rely on grandma to raise their kids, because the liberal feminist revolution means Michelle works all day, even now, when she doesn't even actually have a job. But now grandma's leading a life of luxury and privilege, attending the theater instead of performing her familial duties, so the Obamas have actually been forced to hire help to watch their little latchkey kids, on at least one occasion.

This is the life they want for your children, America! Watch out for the reeducation camps!

Smith is a spendy, spendy dude, so it was stupid of them to hire him in the first place and even stupider to then claim he'd be redecorating with Pottery Barn purchases in order to stave off the OUTRAGE, because why did you hire Mr. Domino's Favorite Hollywood Decorator if you are then going to ask him to sacrifice his expensive taste in the name of propriety?

So, presidents get $100,000 to redecorate, when they move into the White House, and that isn't really so much in the grand scheme of things, but the Obamas will not use any of that money on their fancy Hollywood decorator, they promise. Which is fine, because Obama has never lied about being a rich person. (It is part of his pitch, actually, for sacrifice and paying taxes and things: he and Jay Leno can certainly afford it!) There is one more benefit: now no one will have to know how much they're spending! As New York reports:

The White House declined to disclose the budget, saying that all expenses would remain private as a result of the Obamas' decision to absorb the cost.

Hah, they're gonna get more shit for this.

The Obama want to restore the idea of The White House as The People's House so they're hosting weekly black-tie cocktail partiesin the historic East Room for governors, lawmakers, and Stevie Wonder.

The governors' dinner was "a great kickoff of what we hope will be an atmosphere here in the White House that is welcoming and that reminds everybody that this is the people's house," Obama told the state chief executives after they had dined on Maryland crab, Wagyu beef, Nantucket scallops and citrus salad.

And then Earth, Wind and Fire played and the assembled VIPs formed a Conga Line.

Drudge's headline on this story about how the Obamas are inviting legislators over to flatter them into supporting their policies is headlined "DANCING THE RECESSION AWAY: CONGA LINES, PARTIES, COCKTAILS AT OBAMA WHITE HOUSE...." You know, they're drinkin' and dancin' and partying while we all starve, right? Ha ha patently ridiculous! But, of course, APPEARANCES DO MATTER, so maybe they shouldn't party every Wednesday? 'Cause they're one Michelle Obama couture dress price scandal away from the populist outrage visited upon John Thain and his commode on legs (the purchase of which was supervised by Obama White House decorator-designate Michael Smith!).

We do so like to see the glamorous people enjoying themselves during down times, but the Obamas are not exactly Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert.

So let's have a poll to decide what we think!

And it's a dumb celeb happy family profile story, done with obvious cooperation from the Obamas. SECRETS OF A WHITE HOUSE MOM! Breaking: expensive Hollywood interior designer Michael Smith will redecorate the White House with some crap from the Pottery Barn! For serious! (Maybe he'll stop by Pier 1 too and really go after that accessible
"Top Chef Restaurant Wars" look.) And god, the utter inanity of this whole thing is making us really sick of these adorable little girls.

But the girls will use some traditional decor!

Malia — who is currently reading the Twilight book series (she tackled Harry Potter with dad) — plans to do her homework from Sidwell Friends School at the desk where Abraham Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation!

But Michelle's goal is keeping her daughters grounded. In addition to doing chores like pouring milk on their own cereal despite a huge White House staff, "pretty much we'll see Michelle and the girls in the White House kitchen, trying to bake something together, and her raising them as if they were still in Chicago," family friend Kim Lightford tells Us Weekly.

God, Michelle, don't let Malia read Twilight. Ugh. Or, fine, let her read whatever she wants, but don't endorse it to a magazine! And good work with the milk, guys! Who's your publicist?

Maybe interest in the Obamas will die out soon, but it's not like there's anyone else left who can sell magazines, right?

The Bushes wouldn't let the Obamas stay at the Blair House, the official temporary residence of the incoming president-elect's family, because, who knows, they have people in trying to fumigate out the stench of eight years worth of Laura's pack-a-day habit or something.

So until January 15, which is only a couple days before the inauguration, the Obamas will be staying at the historic and luxurious Hay-Adams Hotel, which is right across the park from the White House, and also it is haunted. Here is the hotel FAQ.

They had to move to DC early so that their little girls would meet the residency requirements of the fancy elitist private school they will be attending.

Beltway Insider Tip: The proper way to pronounce the name of the Hay-Adams is in a funny Lou Costello voice.