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high society
The Only Person Who Could Get Away With Forgetting Graydon Carter's Name
So, the trial of the dastardly family member accused of swindling old NYC high society queen Brooke Astor is underway, and guess who took the stand yesterday? Our old friend, Vanity Fair's Graydon Carter! He had a sad tale to tell (with a silver lining!): More » -
Strange Creatures
Black...Hipsters? Please Explain!
Black. Hipsters. Blipsters. Is your brain leaking out of your ears, socioculturally speaking, at the very idea? Who are they? Why are they? Fortunately there's a new article that tries—and fails—to provide answers: More » -
the good old days
Twitter's Not Hip Hop
Shoot. I remember when all it took to promote an Eminem album was a battle against five wack MCs. And lots of drugs. [Ad Age] -
the olds
Barely Lucid Old Coot Senator Robert Byrd Hospitalized Again
Ancient U.S. Senator Robert Byrd, the man third in line to assume the Presidency should something unfortunate happen to President Obama, has been hospitalized due to complications from an infection, though he will NEVER die! More » -
old people
Everyone On the Supreme Court Shortlist Is So Old
Chuck Todd has a list of the six people most likely to be appointed to the Supreme Court by Obama. One of them is a dude! And all of them are old! More » -
geek love
Love in the Age of SMS
Things were simpler when the only medium for asking someone out was the telephone. Text messaging, Facebook, Twitter and MySpace have complicated romance, if not ruined it, the Washington Post reports. More » -
media
The Pulitzers: In With the Old
Now that the fabulous glory of the 2009 Pulitzers—the first ever to include online reporting!— has come and gone, let us reflect on their meaning. Hint: the Pulitzers are just like the newspaper industry! More » -
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Screenheads
What Kind of Media Zombie Are You?
A fascinating new study of American media consumption provides many insights, but they can all be summed up as: 20-somethings are sexting, 30-somethings are nerds, 40-somethings are online wingnuts, and we're all fucking zombies. More » -
thinkers
Quality mockery of Jeff Jarvis, et al. Always worthwhile.
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amazing
People Still Care About College Sex Mags
As long as college kids remain edgy, there will be college sex magazines. And as long as there are a few olds with no sense of mockery, they will be scandalized by them. Still! More » -
Poster Boy
MoMA Decries Art
MoMA, which allegedly stands for "Museum of Modern Art," has fired a guy for wantonly associating the MoMA name with art, of the modern variety. More » -
oh liz
Fired Columnist Unloads on Foes
If you thought Liz Smith was cranky and bitter about her profession before the New York Post dropped her column, just wait until you hear the 86-year-old gossip columnist now. More » -
oh liz
Liz Smith's Writing Continues to Appear on Electrically Powered 'Inter-Net'
Octogenarian gossipmonger Liz Smith was dropped by the New York Post yesterday, but she doesn't want you all to fret. She has other outlets! Although she still, charmingly, doesn't understand the internet at all: More » -
recessionomics
Sad Olds Take Sad Jobs in Sad World
Oh GOD, as if the recession and the layoffs weren't all heart-rending enough, now the poor old geriatric retirees are being forced to shuffle back into the workforce. Why is economic collapse so sad? More » -
twits
Businessman Has Never Tried Acid
"I've never felt this connected to the rest of the world. It was a game-changing, moving experience."—Bob Jeffrey, CEO of huge ad agency JWT, on learning to use Twitter. Dude. [via Adfreak] -
the olds
RNC Head: "What About 'Phat', Do the Kids Still Say 'Phat'?"
The Republicans have finally found their voice: it's the voice of a 50-year-old using hiphop slang from the end of the '90s. More » -
FNFF
Arianna Huffington Explains What a Blog is For the Very Old and Very Slow
This video of blogmistress Arianna Huffington explaining to Charlie Rose "how blogs work" in her ominous Greek accent is like a dada performance art. There's no way this is real. It's like the blind leading the blind. God, I wish I was stoned right now. What is a link? Why, in Arianna's world, it's "a magical thing." -
adorable
As If You Haven't Already Talked Enough with Your Family
"The purpose of this event is to encourage individuals and families to set aside one hour to conduct and record interviews with those who have been important to their lives." [WowOWow] -
the cinema
Twilight: Laughed At By Youngs, Beloved By Olds
Twilight made a bamillion dollars this weekend! $70.6 million, to be exact. And while we tried to explain the whole phenomenon last week, the figures and demographics for this teen-falls-in-love-with-vampire horromance tell us all we need to know. Though the whole craze is mostly attributed to teens, a large swath of the film's audience was depressingly over 25, and the younger folks that did show up to ogle the specatcle found the whole thing, well, pretty silly. More » -
the olds
Vint Cerf's dream of porn in space comes true
NASA deemed successful a month-long test of image transfers to and from the Epoxi space probe, currently 20 million miles away somewhere near Mars. Alleged Internet inventor Vint Cerf helped NASA design the enabling technology, known as Delay Tolerant Networking, a decade ago. (I know: What does that guy do now?) More » -
the olds
Fox anchor makes Facebook creepier than ever
Some days I wonder if Facebook would have been better off restricting its social network to college students, as it did when it first launched. Watching Steve Doocy, an anchor on "Fox & Friends," talk about updating his Facebook status in this clip confirms my opinion. His profile picture, which shows him "playing Santa," does nothing to reduce the skeevy-old-guy vibe. A tip to Doocy: When you're maxed out on friends, you can set up a Facebook fan page for your virtual acquaintances, saving the stalker-friendly details for people you actually know. And it requires no more egotism than was necessary to get the anchor chair in the first place. -
james brady
Allow James Brady To Tell You About His Illustrious Career
Name-dropping old man James Brady is just about the oldest old man in all the working media. He's turning 80 on Saturday, so he decided to dedicate his Forbes column to that most interesting of topics: his own career. This is a slight departure from his usual practice of reciting as many names as he can in 800 words and being shocked about this modern age. Brady's learned a mess of things in his long, long media career; but "modesty" was not one of them: More » -
the olds
Internet Generation Threatens Rule of Law
It's a well-known fact that young people can't listen for shit. But Britain's Lord Chief Justice (yes, that's his actual title) has decreed that twentysomethings are so bad at it, he's actually considering presenting information on a screen, for the young jurors used to texting and web-surfing their lives away. "Most are technologically proficient. Many get much information from the internet... They are not listening. They are reading." Reports the Telegraph, "In one case a juror went online using a Blackberry-device during a rape case, causing the conviction to be quashed." God forbid we inconvenience some Twitter-twits with old-fashioned courtroom rules. Maybe we should just all learn to listen. It doesn't just help you as a juror—it's great for personal relationships, too! -
the olds
Michael Wolff befuddled by Facebook
Burn Rate, Michael Wolff's tell-all book about the birth of the Internet business, was a clever read which used the then-nascent medium to best effect. The Web-startup founder posted the index of his book online, driving all the Web insiders to his site to see if they were mentioned — and then to the bookstore to see exactly how. Which makes me surprised to see how clueless he is about Facebook. A tipster points out that his profile reads like an ad for his new book on Rupert Murdoch — but you have to be one of his 438 friends to see it. Which sounds like a good predictor of his book sales. -
books
Doris Lessing Knows the Meaning of Life But is Just Witholding It
Famously cranky Golden Notebook author Doris Lessing is 89 and frankly doesn't give a rat's that she won last year's Nobel Prize for Literature. She likes to talk about how she's burned out on writing and loves to complain—and is therefore our favorite Old. This Sunday, Lessing wrote an essay about her typical day for the Times of London: "When I’m not talking, I read." And everyone, irritatingly, thinks she knows the meaning of life: More » -
Tim the IT Guy
NASA's shame: Hubble Space Telescope runs on a 486 chip
Two weeks ago, NASA spokespeople acknowledged that the $6 billion Hubble Space Telescope had stopped transmitting data back to Earth. Today, the optimistic news is that ground control technicians have remote-booted the telescope's backup computer. The Hubble's No. 2 system is built around a pre-Pentium Intel 80486 microchip. Five of the six "redundant components" activated this week haven't been powered up since 1990. Before you type this is not news, read Nasa's carefully crafted PR prose from 1999. Look how much we've gotten used to commodity PC hardware since then: More » -
valleyspeak
Slate's shipment of fail has been ... oh, never mind
Slate — never heard of it, I asked Paul and he says it's an online magazine for the Olds — is trying to figure out why Internet people like to say "fail." It's because they like to "express [their] schadenfreude out loud," and it's one syllable shorter than "failure." And here I was thinking it's because 4chan kiddies and Twitter freaks are lemmings and will repeat everything until the humor has been bled dry. -
clips
McCain's Senior Moments
The sad thing about tonight's debate is that the candidates will be seated, at a table, so we won't get to see McCain wandering around again. But, you know, he will still be speaking, so we imagine we'll get a couple moments along the lines of the ones collected in this video. It's McCain's Lovable Senior Moments, like when he called a questioner "you little jerk" (funny!) and when Joe Lieberman had to whisper in his ear the difference between Sunnis and Shiites (hilarious!). Intern Stephanie Dooley compiled the clip, so please send your accusations of terrible ageism to her. (Or just get over it!) -
john mccain
John McCain Liable To Become Confused Without Teleprompter
There's a big dinner in New York tomorrow in honor of Al Smith, the first Catholic presidential candidate. Mayor Michael Bloomberg, News Corp. Chairman Rupert Murdoch, CBS News' Katie Couric and various other smug media elitists will be there, along with Sen. Hillary Clinton. The Democratic and Republican presidential nominees have been asked to give 15-minute speeches, but only one has requested an a teleprompter to keep him from just repeating "Who is the REAL Barack Obama, my friends" over and over for the entire speech. Organizers are confused, the Post reports, because they've never met a politician who couldn't give a 15-minute address without elaborate technological aids, and in fact no one has asked for a teleprompter for this event, ever, but really McCain just knows he'll be tired out from personally insulting and snubbing Barack Obama in a variety of innovative new ways at tonight's debate. -
the olds
Mainstream media decides Google no longer makes you stupid
The long, slow process of scientific peer review makes a dull story. It's much snappier to throw out a contrarian question like, "Has Google made us stupid?" After the topic bubbles around a bit, it's appealing to find an exclusive new study that rebuts the media's own conventional wisdom. When that reporter's need arises, PR people are there, exclusive new studies in hand. More » -
the youngs
12-year-old does iPhone security QA
"My twelve year old son brought to my attention a security bug he discovered on his iPhone," blogs programmer Karl Kraft. "He has an even more paranoid security mind than I do, because he primarily uses his iPhone to send and receive sweet nothings between himself and his girlfriend, and he is certain that his mother and I are desperate to intercept these messages." The poor kid doesn't realize his parents would be perfectly happy with an XML summary of the content. They could set alerts on it: WARNING sexual subtext identified. Steve Jobs has four kids, so don't tell me this isn't in the works. -
wtf
McCain to Supporters: "My Fellow Prisoners"
John McCain, speaking today to a crowd of supporters: "Across this country, this is the agenda i have set before my fellow prisoners and the same standards of clarity and candor must now be applied to my opponent." It's, uh... it's a weird, weird slip. At least it's better than "my friends." Does this mean we all get kinky gay bondage now? [TPM, Cajun Boy] -
clips
The McCain Wanders Around Aimlessly Montage!
You have seen the "my friends" roundup, incessant repeats of the "that one" clip, perhaps watched the "Tom Brokaw complains about time" montage, reveled in examples of McCain's ill-advised joking and smiling and doing that lizard tongue thing, and of course you're familiar with the weird non-handshake thing at the end. But here and only here will you find the best debate video edit of all: the "McCain kinda shuffles around the room like an old guy" collection! Watch as he sorta wobbles to and fro! Thrill as he attempts a natural, casual gait despite the rebellion of every aged joint his body! Feel sorry for him despite yourself as he acts tired, oh so tired, this isn't how it was supposed to be, this isn't how it was supposed to be at all, just tired, Cindy, let's go home, please. -
the olds
Stallman on cloud computing: Run, it's a trap!
"One reason you should not use Web applications to do your computing is that you lose control" of the email, photos and other data in your account, GNU founder Richard Stallman told the Guardian's website. "We've redefined cloud computing to include everything that we already do ... it's a marketing hype campaign" designed to ensare people into becoming locked-in customers of Google, Yahoo, Microsoft or whoever else holds their hard-to-transfer digital property. Don't you just hate it when Stallman's right? But his proposed alternative — "Do your own computing on your own computer" — is about as likely as getting people to churn their own butter. (Photo by Paolo Colonnello) -
the olds
Google's Internet security and safety guide for retirees
Just in time for noted Internet newbie John McCain's visit to the American Association of Retired People's annual event, Life at 50 Plus, Google and the AARP produced a series of videos explaining basic Internet security tips intended for old folks. Frankly, with college students downloading malware from pop-ups and McCain's running mate and Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin's getting her email hacked, there's more than a few nonretirees who could stand to watch the whole series. -
Joseph McGrath
Unisys CEO quits under pressure from shareholders
Two decades after the merger of mainframe makers Sperry (maker of the UNIVAC) and Burroughs created Unisys (then the second-largest computer company after IBM) and a decade after Unisys blew its remaining geek cred by trying to charge license fees for GIF images on the Internet, the company is floundering in loss after loss. That's despite more than $5 billion a year in revenue, most of it from services to supersize clients including Dell and the baggage-rifling TSA. MMI Investments LP, a Manhattan investment firm that holds just under 10% of Unisys stock, has pushed CEO Joseph McGrath to announce his departure by the end of the year. The Wall Street Journal summarizes: "Unisys moved into the computer-services field with mixed results. Some of the biggest contracts it won, such as a check processing deal in the U.K., turned into money losers that hurt results for years." (Photo by Unisys) -
robert fisk
Fisking Robert Fisk
Robert Fisk is a legendary Middle East reporter for The Independent and has been called "the most famous foreign correspondent in Britain." But he has that unfortunate angry-old-man attitude about the internet. At a recent lecture, "He recalled being challenged about a quote of his that had been published on a website - although he had never said it. 'But I read it on the internet,' was the response, to which Mr Fisk simply hung up." Reasonable! But what would you expect from a guy who has an entire method of online rhetorical smacking-down named after him? More » -
money
Fun New Government Website Teaches Kids To Navigate Financial Hellscape They've Inherited
What timing! A flack reports: "the Ad Council just launched a ‘Financial Campaign’ for the Department of Treasury, to educate the youngin’s about debt management, credit history, credit cards, and the like." It is called ControlYourCredit.gov, and it seems to be inspired, appropriately, by Psycho and Barton Fink, two hellish tales of psychotic breaks with reality that take place in hotels, like this website, and our economy. Cute! You are supposed to somehow play this game in the lobby of this creepy hotel in order to make it to "Room 850," because ha ha, even though you now have perfect credit you still cannot afford a house, stupid millennial. Here is why this is sad: More » -
anna wintour
Old Ladies Fight, Run The World, Despite Terrible Skin
Anna Wintour is the scary domineering overlord of Vogue and, by extension, the entire fashion industry, but did you also know that she is quite old! Fifty-eight years, if you want to split one of the fabulous hairs on her perfectly bobbed head. This fascinating little tidbit was made abundantly clear by the Huffington Post, which for no apparent reason turned into WWTDD yesterday afternoon and posted large high-quality pictures of Wintour's 58-year-old skin. It's seems Vogue has lots of beauty secrets to share, but none that can turn Wintour's face and arms into the tight, baby-smooth softness that her waif-y models possess. (No wonder she's never been on the cover!) With no explanation for this bizarre swipe—and Wintour obviously still filming the video rebuttal for her MySpace page—the New York Observer took it upon themselves to remind the world that the Huffington Post is also run by a scary and equally old lady with clogged pores. So what's up with all the cheap shots? More »









































