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New York, 4:03 AM
Fri Nov 27
11 posts in the last 24 hours
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02/15/09
How do you get confidence? Personally I have no idea. I do have a formula that works for me when I need it, though. It's what my coach says to me whenever I'm attempting choreography that I have absolutely no reason to believe I can do and in fact am pretty sure I am going to make a fool out of myself: "If you can't do it, fake it, and if you can't fake it, fake faking it."
It works remarkably well, both onstage and in bars. I can even trick myself into thinking the confidence is real. But I am very gullible.
02/15/09
The last thing we need is a bunch fakers, "both onstage and in bars". Why can't you build confidence by first building competence? And who are you going to fool anyway? A bunch of other incompetent and clueless people unable to tell good from bad? Why would you want them to like you?
Ok, maybe I can see that in professional life, where you'd want to part a bunch of fools from their money... but I think that in personal life you'd want to do without the mass following of the fools who'd fall for your (in fact, anyone's) shtick. After all, at some point you'll have to get out of that bar and do the life for real... then what? Good luck in the sack with guys with socks in their pants (so to speak).
02/15/09
In truth, there are people in business and social situations whose anxiety prevents them from showing themselves off to best advantage. Zorica's choreography analogy presupposes that in the end the person can do the dance. Obviously, no one wants a complete phony.
I thought the very first comment, by Almostbanned, was as truthful as you can get, especially if you're trying to find a hot babe in a bar.
02/15/09
I really only meant the "if you don't have it, fake it" part about the confidence. I absolutely did not mean people should pretend to be someone they're not. It's another way of saying, "You're capable of more than you think" but in a kind of dry, snarky way that implies even the people who are "so good" at shit have a little bit of faker in them because we're all at least part facade, we're all students here, even the professors.
I most def did not mean stuff a sock in your pants. Holy sweet Jesus. I meant be brave and have confidence even when you're scared. In the studio the message definitely comes across that way, maybe that's because dance is actually pretty impossible to fake, so it's assumed that you won't *actually* be faking the dance and this is talking about mustering the confidence to get yourself mentally prepared for an intimidating task.
@ChillbearLatrigue: Women are all different. Many of us might be more superficial than we'd like to admit, but there are still quite a few of us who are less superficial than your average bar bunny. I have no idea if I am among those or not, I don't study other women very closely nor do I really look too hard at my own attractions since 1) they are what they are and 2) I've given up dating for the forseeable future. You can't call it misinformation just because it doesn't match with your experience. Sometimes I am tempted to call it misinformation when guys say that there are some men who can be faithful, but I am open-minded enough to realize that I've limited my observations to a pretty homogenous subset of men.
02/15/09
Yeah I guess it does, I never realized that until now. The advice isn't "do something you can't." I've always seen it more as a funny way of saying, "You can do this, you just don't know it." Guess I flubbed that one.
02/15/09
Then again, the whole thing is something only weirdos and duchebags need to do anyway. Cool guys already know hot women.
02/14/09
A friend of a friend said he's got the best technique of all -- you crash your car into theirs gently, get out, argue a little and then get their phone number. He says it works because the girls are highly stimulated by the fender bender.
02/14/09
02/15/09
Having once heard that some men do that as a prelude to a sexual assault, I wouldn't put that one at the top of my list if I were a guy.
Standard advice for women: If a guy crashes into you, get his license plate number, roll up the windows and wait for the cops.
02/15/09
02/15/09
Indeed. Your experience may vary.
02/14/09
02/14/09
02/14/09
I just can't figure out why I'm single.
02/14/09
02/14/09
02/14/09
02/14/09
And I lied about coming over right now. I'm actually in the middle of baking cookies for the cult I started a couple of weeks ago.
02/14/09
02/14/09
02/14/09
I don't think there's anything wrong with teaching guys how to be social I just think it's bad when all they want is to get into your pants and repeat the process with other women because they learned some new tricks.
02/15/09
02/14/09
"I am buying you another drink because you are obviously not only the most beautiful but also the most orgasmic woman I have ever met and I have a tongue like a giant squid."
Try it, fellas.
02/14/09
02/15/09
02/15/09
02/14/09
1. Be good looking.
2. Have money.
3. Don't act like a complete tool.
If you follow this simple formula, you are guaranteed to meet at least one girl anywhere you go. Now please hand over my $3500.
02/14/09
4.Don't act like you know about 1. and 2.