Who gives the best advice? You, the idiots slacking off at your stupid job, reading Gawker. One wealthy mom desperately needs your help!

Apricot variety Donald Trump plans to unveil his bold new economic agenda in a speech today. Many of the worst possible policies, together at last!

Because of his homespun folksy manner and affinity for See’s Candies, Warren Buffett has a reputation as a very loveable guy. Not so, some of the people who make him so rich.

“For many Clinton donors, particularly those from the financial sector, the convention is a time to shed what one called the ‘hypersensitivity’ that had previously surrounded their appearance at Mrs. Clinton’s fundraisers.”

Some of America’s biggest corporations are (very publicly) raising the minimum wages of their employees. This is better than nothing, but not as good as, say, dangling a CEO by his ankles and shaking him until all of his billions fall out.

America is facing a crisis: some of our most beautiful public spaces are being defaced by the “tags” of selfish, narcissistic individuals. Most of them are billionaires.

Almost one third of the people in America now live in counties where non-white people make up the majority of the population. That portion is growing with time.

If Donald Trump wants to win the presidency, he’ll need to raise a lot of money. One of the men helping him do that is the hedge fund manager Anthony Scaramucci. We asked him why.

Thomas “Tom” Perkins—plutocrat, investor, patriot, businessman, innovator, guy once convicted of involuntary manslaughter for ramming a French guy’s small boat with his $130 million, football field-sized yacht and killing him—is dead at 84, the New York Times reports.

Great news for Manhattanites looking to save a few bucks on their next apartment: according to a new report, rents in 40 percent of the market saw a slight downturn last year. Which 40 percent? Why, the top 40 percent, of course.

A financial meltdown in China is the currently the leading contender for “Next global financial crisis that will definitely screw you somehow, even though you don’t have that much money.” We now know that GEORGE SOROS is betting on China’s demise too.

If you wanted to find one single real-life human who embodies the concept of “Overpaid Zillionaire CEO Rich White Guy Con Artist,” you could do no better than CBS chief Les Moonves. Take a bow, Les, you fuck.

Bono’s daughter, Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter, and Edgar Bronfman Jr.’s daughter were among the guests at a recent dinner celebrating Arianna Huffington’s “ubiquitous tome,” Sleep Revolution. Huh. Has anyone actually read this book? Serious question.

The hedge fund industry is in the midst of a slow-motion disaster, as its biggest investors come to the realization that the fees hedge funds charge make most of them a scam. One hedge fund guy is embodying the industry’s clueless resistance to change, in hilarious fashion!

Entertainment mogul David Geffen has a fascinating interior life. As an old billionaire, he has constantly afforded himself the best young, muscular ass money can buy, and that has tended to get him wrapped up in the juiciest of tabloid dramas. For instance, in 2014 he had to file a restraining order against his…

As the “Empire State of Mind” beat filled the packed CenturyLink Arena in Omaha, the chorus slid in: “At Berkshire, financial strength is what dreams are made of, there’s nothing you can’t dooooo….” The white, middle-aged crowd of investors jammed. Is this is the humble setting from which champions arise?

In modern America, the ability to move up the economic food chain is a long shot. One method for shaking up entrenched economic classes that has worked in the past: civil war.

Media mogul and schmooze artist Arianna Huffington is currently in contract negotiations with her newly unionized employees, and doing her best to piss them off. What better time to show off her fabulous wealth?

A 12,000 square foot Fifth Avenue duplex apartment owned by the recently deceased financier John Gutfreund is on the market for $120 million. That’s where you end up after being run off Wall Street for illegal behavior.

Billionaire son of a bitch Vinod Khosla, who wants to charge the public $30 million to use a beach in California just because he’s a greedhead, rudely blew off an LA Times columnist who he’d agreed to speak to about his greedy-ass position. It is now even more acceptable to dislike Vinod Khosla.