After getting lost and hurting her ankle during a Mount St. Helens hike with her teen daughter, a Texas woman phoned the local emergency services to come and save them.

First, Desiree Rogers refused to acquiesce to Sally Quinn's demand that she be an old person from Georgetown. Then she let some losers into a party. Now we learn that she forgot to send Christmas cards to rich people!

Whole Foods CEO John Mackey is everywhere! Why? Because he owns a hippie grocery store chain, is himself hippieish, and also he is a conservative libertarian dude! That makes the things he has to say newsworthy!

Washington establishment queen Sally Quinn knows what happens to black men in America, because once, some black cops spoke out of turn to her, at a Georgetown block party.

People in higher income brackets: they're just like us. For example, they're still going to The Hamptons this summer, but they're going to be toning it down. What, you've heard this story before?

Vanity Fair asked that pressing question, and they all want to GIVE BACK and BE CREATIVE ARTISTS, even though artists are all leeches, obv.

Hey, New York wants you to know about this little budding interior designer kid, a senior at Drew College out in Jersey. He is a treat, if you're into really precocious youngsters. And aren't we?

We have given the Obamas shit for hiring Michael Smith, the "celebrity designer" who bought John Thain's $35,000 toilet, to redecorate their fancy White House. But they will pay for it themselves, so all is forgiven!

How Washington works: pay your dues as a Senator, then your rich friends get you a consulting gig and free car service! Then you forget to pay your taxes and it complicates your cabinet nomination.

"One of the unofficial Davos events is the 'Refugee Run,' a simulation of life as a refugee, complete with hostile, armed rebels, power outages, and barbed wire." [Slate]

It would've been soooo easy for a ridiculously wealthy liberal campaign donor to assassinate Barack Obama during the inaugural.

Did you know that when the stock market goes down, media bosses get poorer like magic? It's true — and the fact that it's a totally obvious point doesn't make it any less fun!

Oh no, the Obamas are inspiring class warfare in DC! Elite private school attendees are mocking other elite private school attendees, and it's all because of little Malia and Sasha!

New York Times official rich person-in-residence, plastic surgery addict, and orgy enthusiast Alex Kuczynski has a long, long, torturous story in the Sunday Magazine about her recent experience with a surrogate mother. Would you like to know how stressful and terrible it is to pay another woman to bring your child to…

Bad news, Obama partisans: a prominent female Hillary supporter has openly defected to John McCain, calling the Democratic candidate "an elitist." That supporter? Lynn Forester de Rothschild. You know, of the Rothschilds. The beloved Real American, salt of the earth banking and finance dynasty. Their very name is…

Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman? The paperboy? The evening TV? That's what poor, down-on-their-luck residents of Manhattan's West Village are desperately wondering, shaking their fists at the dark, swirling, unforgiving heavens. You see, though many celebrities—Julianne Moore, Giselle Bundchen,…

Robert Wood "Woody" Johnson IV, of the Johnson & Johnson Johnsons (and owner of the pitiable New York Jets), is also a big political power player. He had his own "hospitality suite" at the RNC this week! So because he is a billionaire political donor he is accused, sometimes, of trying to buy influence. That's…

The Daily News and the Post today both led with goofy excitable front page stories on Michael Bloomberg's threat to cover our bridges and skyscrapers with hideous power-generating windmills (both front pages: "WINDY CITY"). Both mention that Bloomberg dined with millionaire windpower enthusiast T. Boone Pickens. Page…

Our economy is tanking and our super-wealthy are in trouble because all their money is tied up in poor people's mortgages, or something. But in the rest of the world, there's a whole new generation of oligarchs benefiting from the booming commodities market. One of them, Victor Pinchuk from the Ukraine, is doing…

Oh pooh! The moneyed slobs of the Hamptons are feeling the pinch of the recession this summer! Tiffy's gala will be positively ruined! "Trustees of the Children's Museum of the East End rejected a dinner dance at a rented farm in favor of a cocktail party on the museum grounds here, replaced a five-piece rock ‘n' roll…