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recessionomics
Times: Hamptons Just Like Us, Cutely Conserving for "Thrifty" Summer
People in higher income brackets: they're just like us. For example, they're still going to The Hamptons this summer, but they're going to be toning it down. What, you've heard this story before? More » -
kids today
What Do Rich Kids Want to Do With Themselves, These Days?
Vanity Fair asked that pressing question, and they all want to GIVE BACK and BE CREATIVE ARTISTS, even though artists are all leeches, obv. More » -
kids today
So Let's All Hate This Kid Now
Hey, New York wants you to know about this little budding interior designer kid, a senior at Drew College out in Jersey. He is a treat, if you're into really precocious youngsters. And aren't we? More » -
the riches
No One Will Ever Know How Much Obamas Spend on Fancy Redecorating
We have given the Obamas shit for hiring Michael Smith, the "celebrity designer" who bought John Thain's $35,000 toilet, to redecorate their fancy White House. But they will pay for it themselves, so all is forgiven! More » -
politics
Scandal: Tom Daschle Is Rich
How Washington works: pay your dues as a Senator, then your rich friends get you a consulting gig and free car service! Then you forget to pay your taxes and it complicates your cabinet nomination. More » -
games people play
The Fun You're Missing in Davos!
"One of the unofficial Davos events is the 'Refugee Run,' a simulation of life as a refugee, complete with hostile, armed rebels, power outages, and barbed wire." [Slate] -
danger
Elitists Feared Obama's Lack of Protection From Elitists
It would've been soooo easy for a ridiculously wealthy liberal campaign donor to assassinate Barack Obama during the inaugural. More » -
the riches
Millionaire Media Moguls Slightly Less Rich
Did you know that when the stock market goes down, media bosses get poorer like magic? It's true — and the fact that it's a totally obvious point doesn't make it any less fun! -
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class war
Obama Dividing, Conquering DC Private School Elite
Oh no, the Obamas are inspiring class warfare in DC! Elite private school attendees are mocking other elite private school attendees, and it's all because of little Malia and Sasha! More » -
family matters
Alex Kuczynski's Real-Life 'Baby Mama'
New York Times official rich person-in-residence, plastic surgery addict, and orgy enthusiast Alex Kuczynski has a long, long, torturous story in the Sunday Magazine about her recent experience with a surrogate mother. Would you like to know how stressful and terrible it is to pay another woman to bring your child to term? No, probably not, but here you go. More » -
ven ikh bin rotshild
Living Symbol of Extreme Wealth Decries Elitist Black Man
Bad news, Obama partisans: a prominent female Hillary supporter has openly defected to John McCain, calling the Democratic candidate "an elitist." That supporter? Lynn Forester de Rothschild. You know, of the Rothschilds. The beloved Real American, salt of the earth banking and finance dynasty. Their very name is synonymous with heartland values like a life of suffocating spiritually empty glamor and excess. So we're sure John McCain is thrilled that he now has the support of Lady de Rothschild. Except, you know, he actually probably is happy about this, because she has lots and lots and lots of money. Oh but Barack Obama still has the support of America's real elites. [Political Ticker/CNN] -
shut up, manhattan
Olsen Twins Are Terrible Neighbors, Complain Other Rich People
Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman? The paperboy? The evening TV? That's what poor, down-on-their-luck residents of Manhattan's West Village are desperately wondering, shaking their fists at the dark, swirling, unforgiving heavens. You see, though many celebrities—Julianne Moore, Giselle Bundchen, Matthew Broderick's well-trimmed beard—live in the area around West 13th street, they don't cause any problems. They just blend in. Unfortunately the same cannot be said of the street's most recent transplants, the Wonder Bobbsey Hobo twins, actresses and moguls Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. More » -
just like us
Billionaire: Don't You Have McCain's Digits?
Robert Wood "Woody" Johnson IV, of the Johnson & Johnson Johnsons (and owner of the pitiable New York Jets), is also a big political power player. He had his own "hospitality suite" at the RNC this week! So because he is a billionaire political donor he is accused, sometimes, of trying to buy influence. That's nonsense! As he explains in the Times today, he is but a simple down-home constituent, just like you: More » -
plutocrats
Dear T. Boone Pickens: What the Hell?
The Daily News and the Post today both led with goofy excitable front page stories on Michael Bloomberg's threat to cover our bridges and skyscrapers with hideous power-generating windmills (both front pages: "WINDY CITY"). Both mention that Bloomberg dined with millionaire windpower enthusiast T. Boone Pickens. Page Six also reports on how Rudy Giuliani ignored the advice of Pickens, "a leading advocate for alternative energy," during his failed presidential run. Pickens just did a conference call with Harry Reid. And he just met with McCain. And he's got a book out! The oil billionaire-turned-pseudo-environmentalist is everywhere. And so we ask, upon learning that Obama's met with him too: what the hell? Why is everyone playing nice with the evil old jackass? More » -
they're just like us
Adorable Ukraine Has Own Ron Burkle
Our economy is tanking and our super-wealthy are in trouble because all their money is tied up in poor people's mortgages, or something. But in the rest of the world, there's a whole new generation of oligarchs benefiting from the booming commodities market. One of them, Victor Pinchuk from the Ukraine, is doing something terrible and unheard-of with his billions of dollars—buying status and influence. Amazingly, his deep pocketbooks have even bought him the ear of former President Bill Clinton! That incorruptible public servant hanging out with sketchy billionaires is one thing, but sketchy foreign billionaires? According to the Times, the two men have bonded over "a fondness for blending high policy with kitschy celebrity gatherings." Unmentioned: private jets full of models and coeds? [NYT] -
the riches
Poor Rich People Having Less Fun in the Hamptons This Year
Oh pooh! The moneyed slobs of the Hamptons are feeling the pinch of the recession this summer! Tiffy's gala will be positively ruined! "Trustees of the Children’s Museum of the East End rejected a dinner dance at a rented farm in favor of a cocktail party on the museum grounds here, replaced a five-piece rock ‘n’ roll cover band with a teenage jazz combo and slashed ticket prices to $150 from $450, but still only drew about 150 guests, half the number that turned out for the benefit last year... And there are still hundreds of tickets left for the annual Art for Life gala, also scheduled for Saturday night, at the East Hampton estate of Russell Simmons, the rap impresario." People, won't someone please think of the rappers?! More » -
the riches
Subprime Crisis Hits Those Who Created It
While the merely superrich have been unable to sell or buy homes in the Hamptons for some time now, the mega-rich have continued purchasing giant estates for absurd prices. But as Vanity Fair explains, no more! Now there is precisely one man rich enough to buy a Southhampton property for an insanely inflated price, and he is the man who predicted and bet on the subprime crisis taking the toll it has. Now former Bear Stearns employees are worried about their mortgages, JUST LIKE REAL POOR PEOPLE, and it's all very, very, very sad. Listen to just how sad it is! More » -
billionaire pervs
The Company Ron Burkle Keeps
Supermarket billionaire Ron Burkle's name keeps popping up in the oddest places, doesn't it? When conman Rafaello Follieri was finally busted last week, the suit filed against him by his former business partner Burkle kept coming up. Jeffrey Epstein—finally sentenced yesterday for sex with a minor—used to be "very friendly" with Ron. They compared notes on planes! In that Vanity Fair story that upset Bill Clinton so much, it was Burkle who had those unnamed staffers worried about the appearance of impropriety. Now—the oddest one yet?—King of Pop Michael Jackson announced in a court deposition that it was Ron Burkle, along with the Reverend Jesse Jackson, who saved his life when he ran out of money. Burkle brought in the Reverend to help, and Burkle's also done quite a bit of business with the Reverend's son Yusef (they own Radar together!). What a cast of unlikely characters! Did this rogues' gallery of amoral power-junkies select Ron, or vice versa? Why does the ostensibly liberal do-gooder zillionaire associate with these guys? More » -
what did you do during the war?
Without Comment
"The nude portrait was a gift from Iceland's first lady, who tells Bloomberg News she has 'yet to meet someone who does not want a naked picture of their loved ones with text about themselves.'" [Gothamist via Fleshbot] -
the riches
Rich People With Puzzle-House to Become Rich People With Puzzle-Movie
Remember that magical mystery puzzle-house that the New York Times wrote about a while back? Basically these crazy rich people hired a designer named Eric Clough to "do" their new Fifth Avenue apartment and, as a fun thing for the crazy rich people and their kids, he turned the whole house into a scavenger hunt/puzzle kind of thing. Hidden clues and compartments and messages and all that. It's a pretty cool story! So cool, in fact, that J.J. Abrams, the man behind Felicity, Alias, and sort-of Lost, is producing a movie based on the Times piece. How fun for the crazy rich people. Not only do they get to live in a whimsical puzzle-mansion on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan, they get to have a movie made about them too! Of course there will be a more magical element to the movie than the non-fiction Times article, with doors leading to other realms and whatnot. Because that's never been done before! Other fantasy elements in the movie will include the kids growing up to not be spoiled little shits and the puzzle-house, with all its secret compartments, not becoming a frustrating nuisance a few months after the puzzle has been solved. More » -
top chef
'Larval Lisa' Will Only Listen to The Criticism Of the Rich
Ohhhh Lisa. Horrible, greasy-haired, bull terrier of a chef that she is, she's still hanging on in this season of Top Chef. Our good friend and blogger Joshua David Stein despises her. Our commenters despise her. Other bloggers and commenters on other blogs despise her. Why? Because she's nasty and petty and back-stabbing and wins only by undermining others' achievements. So yes, there is lots of vitriol on the web. But does she read all of it? Does she care? No. Because people who read blogs and write blogs are too poor for her taste. More » -
food
Breakfast!
This week's New York Magazine explores "breakfast," that meal little kids eat before school and adults drink before work. They have many informative and thinky pieces about eggs and coffee and such. (Also there is of course a list of places to eat expensive breakfasts in many different fancy-pants categories.) Here are the two things we learned: More » -
economics
The Rich: Recession's Whiniest Victims
What with the nation struggling under soaring gas prices, foreclosures, and general tedious suffering, The New York Times' Sunday Styles section naturally wants to know how Manhattan's filthy rich are coping with the recession. "NANCY CHEMTOB, a divorce lawyer in Manhattan, has found that her days have become crammed seeing clients, all worried about how an economic downturn will affect their marriages.But Ms. Chemtob’s clients are concerned all the same, she said, because their incomes have shrunk, say, to $2 million a year from $8 million, and they know that their 2008 bonus checks are likely to be much less impressive. One of her clients recently confessed that his net worth had decreased to $8 million from more than $20 million, and he thinks that his wife will leave him. He has hidden their fall in fortune by taking on debt to pay for her extravagant clothes and vacations." More » -
the riches
Meet the Real Housewife Whose Husband is Buying the 'Times'
So. Remember how Harbinger Capital Partners is buying and destroying the New York Times and the very institution of journalism itself? Almost 500 of you should! While we've focused mainly on jocular idiot Scott Galloway, the marketing professor Harbinger forced onto the Times' board, we neglected to mention that the founder of Harbinger is a character in his own right. His name is Philip Falcone. He owns a hockey team! He bought Bob Guccione's house! Also: he and his wife donated the legal maximum to the Republican National Committee. His wife, by the way, is an aspiring novelist and Look Book participant. And a former "model" who maybe exposed her fake breasts in respectable Hollywood films. After the jump, embarrassing photos of the men who are destroying journalism and the women who are producing their babies. (NSFW!)
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hbo
Frank Rich Gets Vague Title at HBO
Avuncular Times columnist and former theater critic Frank Rich just signed a deal making him HBO's "creative consultant." Which means, according to Nikki Finke, "a consulting fee combined with payments for projects that get made." What it also means is that now he can get all his kids jobs on television too. (Zing!) [Deadline Hollywood Daily] -
futurism
Facebook Funder Buys Stake in Fantastical Ocean Utopia
Hooray! A bunch of eccentric rich people are striking out to create their own sovereign nation in the middle of the ocean! Again! You may remember back in the 60s when a pirate radio broadcaster occupied a sea-bound fort 6 miles off the coast of Great Britain and declared it the Principality of Sealand. (It's for sale, btw.) But while that little adventure in sovereignty was merely for kicks, Wired reports today on a venture much more exciting for its batshit reasoning, impressive backers, and fantastic scope. More » -
guessing games
The Easter Bunny No Longer Prime Suspect In Minnie Driver Baby Daddy Mystery, But Who Is?
Thus far, Riches star Minnie Driver has given the public three wildly different answers to anyone inquiring who knocked up the card-carrying member of that annoyingly massive Celebrity-Slash-Singer subset. Among the potential baby daddies she's flung out into the media’s clutches? The Easter Bunny, musician Craig Zolezzi, and yes, God him or herself. And six months into her pregnancy, Driver has defiantly and coyly kept her lips sealed, until now. In a recent interview with the UK’s Independent, she finally released two very telling details: the guy is British, and "sort of in the same business." Our guesses lie after the jump, but we leave it to you, loyal Defamer readers, to solve the mystery: More » -
television
HBO Viewers To Get More Phallus Than They Could Have Hoped For
Head of HBO series production Sue Naegle settled into her new gig quickly this week. It's only Thursday, and she's already given the go-ahead for a new series, the enticingly-titled Hung. The comedy comes to you from the creators of the Eddie Izzard-Minnie Driver vehicle The Riches, Dmitry Lipkin and his wife Collette Burson. Hung is the story of a former high school athlete who learns to use his dangle to improve his quality of life: basically, Hoosiers meets Boogie Nights. A Broadcasting & Cable profile last year of the show's creator described Russian émigré Lipkin as being drawn to "lefty, artsy theory classes" while he was a student at Rutgers, where he learned about the place of the phallus in and out of the classroom. "Think of him like Spider-Man," Lipkin's wife and producing partner Burson told Variety, adding, "He's an average guy who gets in touch with his innate super powers." Lipkin describes the show as a dark comedy with a lot of "heart," a new euphemism for penis we plan to use as frequently as possible. Since Tobey is busy playing a mute who wants to conduct an orchestra in Oscar winner Richard LaGravenese's new movie Quiet Type, who would you cast in this singular role? [Variety] -
the riches
Crazy Socialite Brings Broadway Divorce Battle to Youtube
Socialite/playwright Trisha Walsh-Smith is the soon-to-be ex-wife of Philip Smith, president of the Schubert Organization—which means he's super rich because Schubert owns all those theaters and produces all those fabulous Broadway plays. But the silly blonde went ahead and signed a pre-nup with the old man, who's 25 years her senior, and now she's all in a fuss. In some kind of whacky bid for leverage, Walsh-Smith is hitting YouTube to air her fears that the old man and his daughters are out to destroy her—trying to kick her out of her swank Miami pad, stealing her $500k annual pension in the event of Smith's demise, and leaving her with all sorts of dirty sex paraphernalia that Smith certainly never used on her. More » -
the riches
Even Rich Students Bone to Get Ahead
New research shows that wealthy college students will trade sexual favors to get what they want. Researchers interviewed 475 undergraduate students and discovered that 25% of them would exchange sexual currency for provisions. The attempted trades included: tickets to the University of Michigan vs. Ohio State game, studying assistance, laundry washed, a Louis Vuitton bag and voice lessons. More » -
the riches
Moneyed Wusses Prepare for Doomsday
“'I’m not a gun-nut, camo-wearing skinhead. I don’t even hunt or fish,' said Bill Marcom, 53, a construction executive in Dallas. Still, motivated by a belief that the credit crunch and a bursting housing bubble might spark widespread economic chaos — 'the Greater Depression,' as he put it — Mr. Marcom began to take measures to prepare for the unknown over the last few years: buying old silver coins to use as currency; buying G.P.S. units, a satellite telephone and a hydroponic kit; and building a simple cabin in a remote West Texas desert." Yes, Mr. Marcom, when the apocalypse hits, Lord Humongous will gladly accept your old sliver coins as "currency." More » -
horace mann
Horace Mann-Sense: Li'l Roy Cohn Sad, Former School Head's Spitzer Connection
Little public figure Charles Stam was the villain of New York Magazine's cover story on the terrible nonsense that goes on at tony prep school Horace Mann. Stam harassed a teacher for being a liberal feminist, and even lied about having a tape of her calling him a Nazi in an attempt to get her fired. He was promptly elected student body president! We posted a small picture of him from the Horace Mann yearbook earlier this week, and that made Stam sad. He emailed Gawker boss Nick Denton to ask that we remove his "personal material" from the site. Instead, we will reprint his email. It's after the jump, along with the sad tale of school head Thomas Kelly's toxic waste playground for the poor kids, and why it's all Eliot Spitzer's fault.
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exclusive
Meet the Horace Mann Scandal Crew!
So you read the New York cover story about the mess at high-falutin' private prep school Horace Mann, but maybe you wanted more. Maybe you wanted to meet the faces behind the names. You are in luck, kind reader. With help from SECRET GAWKER SOURCES we found photos and bios for two of the anonymous rich assholes who gave the story its depressing color—the wealthy trustee mom whose daughter inadvertently engineered the whole scandal, and "Jeffrey Robbins," the Young Republican anti-Max Fischer who rose from liberal-baiting history class gadfly to misogynist class president. After the jump, meet the leaders of tomorrow!
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what makes jared run
Why Did Ivanka and Jared Break Up?
Cute li'l real-estate magnate and newspaper-owner Jared Kushner broke up with oddly attractive-despite-her-family Ivanka Trump! This is according to Page Six, who note that Ivanka has gone to parties by herself, which is irrefutable proof. They've been together for almost exactly one year, which is, if you ask us, suspicious. What's Jared up to? Why is he breaking up with his hot, brand-name girlfriend? Why is he pretending he's going to buy Newsday? Is he just toying with us?? More » -
horace mann
Poor Mr. Janice Min
Remember New York's cover story this week about the Horace Mann teacher who was shocked—shocked—to learn that students at that tony prep school exchange bitchy gossip and say terrible things on the Facebook? The alarmed history teacher—who, for his role in publicizing the Facebook fracas was forced to take a sabbatical—is Peter Sheehy, husband of Us Weekly editor Janice Min! So, obviously, this "gossiping about people" thing was totally foreign to him. (J/k! Us is the nice one.) SAD UPDATE: Ok. Former Horace Mann history teacher Peter Sheehy's current gig? "Research intern" for award-winning internet blog Talking Points Memo. No, seriously. [NYM] -
racism
Prestigious Boarding School Students Shocked By Decidedly Non-Quirky Problem
Kids at St. Paul's—the boarding school of John Kerry, New Yorker scribe Nick Paumgarten, heiress/psychiatrist Samantha Boardman, former Paris Review deputy publisher Lea Carpenter, and n+1 co-founder/zeitgeist-capturing novelist Ben Kunkel—have just witnessed their very first act of the kind of racism that isn't subtly ingrained in the system that allowed them to attend that prestigious institution: a black student received a threatening letter in the mail. "The top of the letter said 'Get Out,' John said. There was a bulls-eye in the middle and on the bottom, it said, 'Bang Bang,' he said." Three other black students received similar missives, all of which were "postmarked Manchester, through which all of the state's mail is routed." Don't worry, John. One of your classmates will get to the bottom of it in a thinky piece for The Believer in a couple years. [Concord Monitor] -
money
The Kid's All Right
Hey, rent is due soon. Oh, which reminds me: Daniel Radcliffe, the alter-ego of magical British wizard Harry Potter, has just purchased his second New York apartment, for a rumored $4.9 million. He'll divide his time between his fabulous New York pads and the cupboard under the stairs he sleeps in back in Little Whinging. [Showbiz Spy] -
we hate your kids
Yuppie Shock: Rich DINKs Not Equipped For Parenthood
It turns out, according to today's Times, that when you have children, you might have to slightly compromise your aesthetic design sense and maybe even tape the corners of your designer furniture. Or put it in storage! All because the little puke you finally conceived after putting it off for a decade or two spent finally snagging that prewar apartment and filling it with dead-tech post-modernistic bullshit might hurt himself on the sharp edges of your Barcelona chairs. Or smudge your glass-top Noguchi coffee table. The obvious answers to the problem—belt-delivered beatings should young Atticus get near the Ligne Roset brown microsuede one-arm sofa, locking young Libertad in your minimally appointed sleek modernist basement until he's 18, abortion—are not provided. [NYT] Photo: Evan Sung for The New York Times -
the riches
Rich Begin Hating On Harvey Weinstein's Elitist Club
Elitist social networking site ASmallWorld.net is starting to annoy the pompous rich and famous it was designed to attract. In a likely effort to reverse traffic declines, the site began spamming its members to encourage them to post status updates and check out what their snooty friends are doing, a tactic that did not go over well with the "my time is money" set. Moneyed social divas, meanwhile, are not happy with "interface changes and the ever-expanding presence of advertisers," which have robbed ASmallWorld of "the same level of elitism it was once so admired for," in the words of Ashley Simko, left. If movie mogul Weinstein had a clue about the Web — ASmallWorld was heralded as his first internet investment — he would know about Metcalfe's law, which basically says that when networks compete, second place is worthless. Which is why even the riches prefer Facebook's unwashed masses to ASmallWorld's alleged elite. After the jump, evidence of just how completely Facebook is eating ASmallWorld's lunch. More » -
defamer
Desperate Academy Begs WGA For Oscar Answers
· Anxious that the Oscars are approaching and he still has no real idea of whether or the WGA—obviously a little preoccupied with their own issues—intends to grant a waiver for their awards ceremony, Academy president Sid Ganis begs the Guild for answers so that complicated logistical issues can be resolved. "We're running out time! [desperate punctuation ours]," wails Ganis, pleading for the sweet release of either a simple "yes" or "no." [Variety] More »


































