Gawker: the second generation

Tomorrow's Douchey Business Leaders Today

Sheila — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 17:06:20 EDT

"I wouldn't say I have a complete picture of the MBA ranking by female attractiveness," writes somebody calling themselves Markbot, on Business Week's online forum for business schools. However. "Wharton had by far the most attractive women of the schools I visited and Chicago GSB had by far the least attractive women that I visited." User Dabots chimes in, "this can be pretty easily settled by using Facebook." James N., a commenter who probably hasn't been laid since Bush's first term (and that was by accident), adds, "I'd hit up schools in the lower tier. Texas Tech!" Oh, to be free, white, and 21!

Just think! In ten years, these people will be putting just as much energy into denying you health insurance or causing the next subprime crisis or whatever.

BW Business Schools

Emily Brill's Father is Proud of Her, OK?

Sheila — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:39:04 EDT

Socialite and fledgling blogger Emily Brill's dad, mogul Steve Brill, is proud of his 25-year-old daughter's blogging habit—or as the Observer calls it, her "giddy internet adventure." He tells them it's "quite a distance from when she was writing a brilliant honors thesis in prep school about the electoral college, but it's well-written and has a distinctive voice. It's now clear that the more she does it, the better she is getting at it." Whoa, Dad. Don't think we didn't catch that subtle neg. [NYO]

Wesleyan Student Partyriot Ends in Paintball and Tasers

Sheila — Fri, 16 May 2008 11:02:27 EDT

Wesleyan University, one of the most annoying liberal arts schools in the United States, had an end-of-school "huge block party" last night. Police used probably-unnecessary force (paintball guns with pepper balls, tasers, dogs) to disperse the 250 students on the street; some of them threw bottles at police cars, reports NBC30. But oh, those Millennial generation kids! Thank God they've liveblogged this: "Neither students nor police handling this particularly well. Someone chanting 'Glo-bal war-ming!' -> WTF?"

Dogs barking, megaphone order to disperse. Mace brandished. General Disarray. Continued bustle of people. Please send any photos not taken with phone to wesleying@gmail
student quote "what better way to leave wesleyan? it's a spectacle..."
crowd sings the fight song. go wes...?
beautiful yet menacing german shepards. chomping at the bit.

Dogs walking up and down the street. National anthems, paintball guns shot!!!!

STUDENTS FIRED UPON. pellets apparently bounced off ground, dogs chasing students, officers in tow.

Angry students yelling at PSAFE to get police out of here. Pepper spray dispersed. Some violent words. Students restraining other students.

STudents yell about fucking pigs, dogs chasing more people.

Drunk people yelling really, really irately about their rights. "can't even breathe because of that shit they put in the air" car alarm goes off again. Students apparently under arrest.

Dans la rue! Dans la rue!

[Photo: Wesleying]

The Millennial Generation Way More Annoying Than Us, Says Gen-Xer

Sheila — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:46:35 EDT

Opening with the now-famous Valleywag story of Kevin Colvin, the banking intern who ran off to party in a fairy costume (he told his boss there was a family emergency, but got outed via Facebook!), Radar hates on Millennials, those born between 1982 and 2002. It isn't fair: the Boomers always hated the slacker, Dazed and Confused-watching Gen Xers, and are retaliating by coddling Millennials at work, falling all over themselves, wanting to help their younger colleagues who "roll into work with their iPods and flip-flops around noon." These brats "think updating a spreadsheet while simultaneously posting to a Twitter account about the latest gossip on perezhilton.com is an essential corporate skill." They bring up 9-11 "should you question their fortitude." But their most egregious sin?

Today, when a hip band allows Outback Steakhouse to co-opt one of their most beloved songs, Millennials don't call it selling out. It's a cogent business decision. To Millennials, it's perfectly acceptable to transform the lyric "Let's pretend we don't exist / Let's pretend we're in Antarctica" into the jingle "Let's go Outback tonight / Life will still be there tomorrow." (Et tu, Of Montreal.)

I personally feel the below commercial is unforgivable, but perhaps it's because I was born in 1981 instead of 1982—I'll never understand the value of a corporate dollar.

Generation Slap [Radar]

A Rogue Williamsburg Kickballer Explains It All

Sheila — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:32:01 EDT

The bad seed of Brooklyn's hipster kickball league speaks! Even though it was reported so on their website, the team known as "Prison" isn't kicked out of Williamsburg's kickball league after all. "Just me," former kickballer Robert L. confirms. "I told [38-year-old Brooklyn Kickball commissioner] Kevin Dailey he was a fat fuck and to go sniff coke. Then pushed 2 people who surrounded me and threatened another guy. I can only apologize that jocks picked on people in high school!" There's more to the story: just like every punk show in high school, this one was broken up by... you guessed it, violence from a straight-edger!

"here is the thing. just like myspace, bkkb allows people to reinvent themselves... [Commisioner] Kevin Dailey is now the coolest guy on earth every sunday night to 32 teams with 10 or more people on it. and every person on every team is the coolest person who ever moved to brooklyn. they all drink and get drunk and have a blast and compare how drunk and how much fun they are having.

well i am straight edge. and as soon as everyone found out, i was labeled an asshole. i never cared about who did what or why. i just choose not to do drugs. i work out alot and have a typical "jock" build. so everyone skinny hipster is afraid of me. i have a quick wit and if a drunk idiot is trying to heckle me im going to tell them to shut up. so add all that up for 3 seasons of prison being the best team who doesnt want to hangout and get fall down drunk (which half of prison does on friday nights) and you have 120 pound boys who look like girls being scared and complaining about our team. i dont think they will let me back in the park on sunday nights let alone next year!! haha kevin daily hates me and my whole team!"

For his part, Kickball Commissioner Kevin Daily wrote in a letter:

"Despite all the bullshit swarming around me for the last couple of years, I'm still here. Not anonymous calls to the Parks Department, selective cutting and pasting, or Gawker.com will keep me away. Still standing. I have no reason to go. I've done a fucking excellent job, and presided over continuous annual growth... I have been behind every last good decision towards making the league better and bigger. If I were a CEO, my only flaw would be not raising prices, as supply and demand dictates."

We hear strange rumors about your "prices" and profiting off kickball permits, Kev, but we'll leave them be... for now.

Anyway, we had no idea that kickball and epic letter-writing went so well together!