Former Jersey Shore star and Dancing With the Stars contestant Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, along with his brother Marc, were indicted today and charged with conspiracy to defraud the federal government and for filing false tax returns from 2010 to 2013. The brothers pleaded not guilty to the charges before being…
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino cut the ribbon on his tanning salon in Middletown, New Jersey on March 1 of this year. He made it 103 days before being accused of bouncing checks and 111—to this past Tuesday—before being arrested there for fighting his brother. Yesterday, I took a drive down to the most heated tanning…
As any good astronomer will tell you, a star always burns brightest just before it dies. And Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is certainly clinging onto his last drops of fame with every muscle in his steroid (and maybe painkiller) riddled body, following in the path of every D-lister before him, and posing
nude
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This is a new series that names people who are not publicly gay, but have been shackled by rumors throughout their careers which warrant further discussion. The evidence provided has been gleaned from various Gawker sources enamored with this sort of outing process. If you have any evidence proving their gayness or…
During the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we've seen our eight subjects in their natural habitat in New Jersey, in their adopted homes of Miami and Florence, but never have we seen them actually interact with, you know, nature. There is a reason for that.
SitchNews, Mike Sorrentino's new gossip site, looks, uh, familiar. The site officially launched on February 20th with the introductory message:
Something serious and sad is threatening the greatest sociological experiment of our time: couples. Yes, it seems like everyone is paired up and Snooki is even expecting Jersey Shore's first virgin birth. Haha. Just kidding. Snooki's no virgin. And Situation got Vinny pregnant when he touched the smush bed anyway.…
Yes the major event of the most important sociological experiment of our time had to do with cake. Who ate the cake? Remember when our subjects used to crawl in the hot tub and vomit on themselves?
Recently Snooki and JWOWW gave an interview where Snooki said she is bisexual (no, Snooki, you just like to make out with girls every once in awhile when you're drunk) and they both alleged that reality show Gargamel, The Situation, has gay tendencies. Well, now he's pissed.
Oh the harm that can befall a guidette during the greatest sociological experiment of our time. Sure she can't be sullied by reputation, but there are still horrible fates than can befall her, like the intractable tangle of her weave. And that was just the start of last night's disasters.
Last night during the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we had to deal with the most threatening psychological illness of our time: anxiety. Yes, Vinny, of the carefree manner and enormous schlong, was dealing with a crippling case of ennui.
Last August, Abercrombie & Fitch, the Official Outfitter of 50-Year-Old Gays™, made a media splash by announcing that they would pay Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino not to wear their clothes. Now three months later comes — The Litigation! *Lifts T-shirt, flexes complaint.*
The last episode of any chapter of Jersey Shore, the greatest sociological experiment of our time, is always a little bit sad. It's so hard to see these guys go, but this time, it was all a bit strange as we looked toward the future and tried to make reparations for the past.
There is much hatred for the eight guidos on Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, but even people who love the guidos and even the guidos themselves hate The Situation. He is the black sheep of the black sheep, and he will be his own destruction.
Usually we're studying the behavioral and mating patterns of all eight guidos on Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, but this time around we're focusing on only one. Yes, it's time to get up close and personal with that slow loris Snooki.
After the last dispatch of Jersey Shore, the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we thought Snooki's boyfriend was gone for good, until he wasn't. We then thought Deena was pregnant, until she wasn't. The Situation was a dick and Vinny has a big one, but we know that already.
In the latest dispatch from the eight guidos in the most important sociological experiment of our time, there was an arrival and a departure, a reunion and break up, a prank and a fight, and one woman tottering around on high heels over the cobblestones. Shit got absolutely Shakespearean.
Now that we've taken the eight guidos from Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, out of their natural habitat, they deserve a vacation! At the Italian shore a strange love develops, and then there is an accident. Guidos in peril!
Amy Winehouse might have died while trying to get her life in order. Arnold and Maria have an awkward run-in. Miley Cyrus is just "explor[ing] sexuality," and Justin Bieber wants to settle down. Saturday gossip would probably eat bananas dipped in ketchup.
Taking the eight guidos from Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, to Italy was supposed to get them in touch with their roots—to give them a sense of their place in the universe. Instead, it only created so many monsters.
