Today, a Tennesseean five-year-old brought a gun to school in his backpack. While the kindergarten student waited for the morning bell in the Westside Elementary cafeteria, the pistol fired one round. Via WMC-TV, the Shelby County Schools' statement:
Just recently in Dyersburg, Tennessee, a number of custom-made purple signs materialized around the 17,000-person town, alerting local drinkers they were unwitting pawns of the Devil. Strategically placed across from alcohol purveyors, the banners proffered these admonishments:
Monstrous "crazy ants" from Argentina and Brazil have invaded Texas and the American Southeast, driving out the already awful fire ant and making life even more miserable for those living in the South.
Some Americans are racist. We know this, though there's nothing quite like a black guy winning a national election to bring them out of the woodwork. The sheer volume of racist Tweets is disheartening, but can we learn anything from them?
A brand new mosque is scheduled to open today in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, a.k.a. Mohammad's Promised Land. The Muslim community went through three years of shit to get this mosque built. Some highlights of Tennessee's welcoming Southern manners:
Remember how last week we were talking about the "post-pointless" era of journalism, in which any and all experiences no matter how banal can be packaged as journeys of discovery and wonder, and sold to superficially pop-intellectual sites like Slate and Salon as something that appears just meaningful enough for a…
No law enforcement agency in the world is better than our own FBI when it comes to thwarting terror plots that never would have come to fruition anyhow, because they consisted mainly of pitiful people sitting around boasting to FBI informants. The latest triumph by our domestic anti-terror heroes: saving America from…
Everyone knows that people in America's Northeast, Northwest, and Southwest regions are sociopaths with no regard for others. We don't even need to mention that widely accepted fact. Everyone also knows that the final haven of "manners" here in our nation of animals is the Southeast region, where people still say "Yes…
In June, Alabama passed a law designed to punish adult illegal immigrants, minor illegal immigrants, and American children who made the error of being born to illegal immigrants. Last week, a federal judge upheld key portions of the law, and it's already starting to work! Alabama seems... cleansed.
June 26, James C. Anderson, a 46 year-old auto worker and a black man, was standing in a Jackson, Mississippi motel parking lot. Then, police say, a car full of teenagers pulled up. They beat Anderson. Then ran him over.
Demographic data indicates that black people are leaving New York for the South in droves, as the historic "Great Migration" of African-Americans from South to North slowly reverses itself. The city of Atlanta now stands as America's new Black Mecca.
In Louisiana, a black man who was convicted for murder is seeking to overturn his conviction on several grounds, the most interesting of which is this: he contends that the fact that the Confederate flag flies in front of the courthouse where he was convicted is evidence of discrimination.
Oh, cool: at the University of Virginia law school there's a "Feb Club" that hosts themed parties throughout February. Then they put up party pics on their blog. Here's one from their latest bash: note the awesome Confederate flag beer pong tables.
The debut novel by Kathryn Stockett (pictured), The Help, is the story of black domestic servants working in Mississippi during the 1960s. It was published last year to rave reviews, and has sold more than 2 million copies. But one person's not happy with it: Ablene Cooper, a 60 year-old maid for Stockett's brother,…
Southern fast food chain Chick-fil-A has caused an uproar with its support of anti-gay groups like Focus on the Family. People are boycotting it and circulating petitions! But why is no one mentioning that Chick-fil-A isn't that great?
An Auburn University professor, along with NewSouth Books, plans to release a new edition of Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn with every instance of the word "nigger" replaced with "slave," hoping that will make the book more accessible.
Presidential hopeful Haley Barbour has clarified his fond remembrance of the White Citizens Councils of the Civil Rights-era South, whose members weren't community heroes so much as they were Klansmen in suits. Barbour added today that the Councils were "indefensible."
In Georgia, a state wracked by drought and educational miseries, local newspapers are involved in a holy pursuit: arguing about hunting. Haw haw, can you believe that reporter next town over don't like hunting? Haw haw.
Perhaps you've heard that smut peddler Teri Gross' filthy interview show, Fresh Air has been pulled from Mississippi Public Broadcasting's lineup. What offended a listener's southern sensibility Comedian Louis CK explaining why he always has sex with his shirt on.
