Gawker: the straights

Al Reynolds Teaches Us How Not to Dispel Pesky Gay Rumors

Richard — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 12:48:00 EDT

Often times men in the public eye, particularly those who dress snappy or act "strangely" or marry, um, different women, are accused of being wicked sodomites. Nine times out of 10 they vehemently deny it, often ending up looking more gay than they did before. The latest example is Al Reynolds, that fey fellow who was married to regrettable former The View yakker Star Jones. I guess people thought he was gay because he wore nice-ish clothes and, um, married Star Jones. Now, because no one has talked about him for at least a year, he recently felt compelled to record an interview with a fake journalist in which—at poorly edited and protest-too-much length—he tries to refute the scuttlebutt(sex). He slapped the thing up on YouTube, and, blargh, it's a mess. The video of that sad act stands above, as the number one example of what not to do when denying gay rumors. A few other tips lie after the jump.

You also probably shouldn't:

Jump on couches, duh.

Act on a show called Gossip Girl or get apartments with your sexy male costars.

Marry Liza Minnelli. For the love of God that should seem extremely obvious, but apparently it's not.

Or, you know, don't actually (or sort of) come out. That'll really make you seem gay.

Sacha Baron Cohen's Gay Fight Night Hoax

Richard — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 12:31:00 EDT

Prankster, actor, and all-around brave guy Sacha Baron Cohen has once again angered gullible Southerners. This time it was while filming his new movie Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt (title is tentative) which features Cohen's gay fashionista character prancing about the United States. The Borat star held several evenings of "Blue Collar Brawlin'" in two "cities" in Arkansas, advertising with posters like the one above. There was cage wrasslin' and $1 beer, yes, but the night ended with two male combatants kissing each other for all to see. Audience members became furious when confronted with this hideous sight, throwing beer and chairs onto the stage. Click after the jump to see the Craigslist ad that Cohen and his cohorts posted for the events.

Wikipedia Confirms Chace Crawford As a Bottom

Richard — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:42:00 EDT

Poor Chace Crawford can't get a break. The gay rumors keep on coming even though the Gossip Girl actor, who plays Nate on the show, has asked the show runners to cut it out with the gay shirtless stuff and my esteemed (read: smarter and better-connected) colleagues at the Daily Intel got no blips on their gaydar when they met him. It doesn't matter! Everyone still calls him geigh. And now even Wikipedia is conspiring against him. To see what I mean, consult the picture at left. Click through for larger.

Hey Ladies! Sean Avery Will "Jerk Off to You Now"

Richard — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 10:24:00 EDT

Sean Avery, a man of contradictions. He has an eye for couture, but is definitely straight. He plays left wing for the New York Rangers (that's ice hockey, I'm told) but he was also a fabulous fashion intern at Vogue. The sartorial skater is in Paris right now gawping at the Chanel, Gautier, and Dior shows (with oh, you know, Anna), while also making time to mack on cute blonde lady bloggers. Specifically fashion writer Susan Kirschbaum, who ran into Avery in Paris, asked if he was sure he wasn't gay and was met with an endearingly bonk! straight boy response:

"I'm going home to jerk off to you now." Aww/eww. A tipster tells us that Avery added "And that's a big compliment," and later text messaged Kirschbaum saying that "the session is going well." So yes! A little creepy, but at least he's not been completely be-sassed by the sleek and bitchy fashion industry. Though it could all be an elaborate ruse and he really went back to his hotel to drink Moët and do blow all night with Tom Ford while Anna Wintour did slow 70's disco claps in the background, Carly Simon playing softly. If that's the case then boo, but if he really was practicing his stick-handling skills then good on him. I hope he had a steak afterwards.

Gay Actor Becomes Ironic Deodorant Stud

Richard — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:54:00 EDT

Neil Patrick Harris is a fun guy. Many of us have known this for a while. The openly gay actor has proved himself a witty good sport, from his self-mocking turns in the Harold and Kumar movies, to his brassy work on CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother, to his frank sex talk on Howard Stern's radio show. Now, it seems, even the straight dude advertising world has caught on. Harris is being featured in a new ad campaign for Old Spice, that old-timey manly man's line of deodorant, aftershave, and other men's products. A gay dude hawking Old Spice! The gay problem is solved!

Well, OK, maybe not, but it's still pretty cool. I guess his womanizing characters on HIMYM and in the Harold and Kumar movies (in which he talks about wanting some "fur burgers") tell advertisers that even though he's gay, he's still cool to peddle men's anti-stink products. And, heck, in a bit of an ouroboros, maybe he gets to play such rakes because he's gay. "It's OK ladies, he's not really like that. But, hey men, he could be." Acting!

Harold and Kumar clip below. NSFW!

Overcompensating Update

Richard — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 12:04:00 EDT

A helpful tipster has assured us that Gossip Girl star and suspected gay Conner Paolo is, in fact, dating a girl named Alice, and is not, as some have suggested, simply "overcompensating." Updated info, with photos, on the original post.

What's the Difference Between 'Overcompensating' and Just Being, Well, Straight?

Richard — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 10:57:00 EDT

Last week I wearily conceded that yes, in fact, the boys from Gossip Girl might actually be straight. Though the teen soap itself is gay as Christmas, the actors on the show are constantly "spotted" romancing ladies and stealing kisses in public places. (And, um, fellating beer bottles.) Though! Maybe they're just "overcompensating"? The Daily News and Daily Intel seem to think so, specifically about young Conner Paolo, who plays newly gay Upper East Sider Erik van der Woodsen on the show.

"Spotted: Actor Who Plays Gay Overcompensating by Kissing Girls In Public," hisses Intel's headline for an event wrap-up. Paolo was apparently sucking face on the red carpet with some dizzy dame (pictured above) named ~~April~~ Alice, behavior that looked like "flaunted heterosexuality" to the Daily News. And, yeah, I don't know. I'm all for silly gay rumors, because they're amusing and fun and just might be true sometimes. But when a seventeen-year-old is making out with his girlfriend, is it really "overcompensating" or is he just, you know, a seventeen-year-old straight boy?

Yes, it was on the red carpet, and that's a bit of a "look at meeeee" PDA in a way that doesn't seem exactly organic, but he's definitely not the first celebrity to kiss someone in front of cameras. Maybe it's kind of a giddy thrill, you know? Maybe that's all it is. The idea that an actor who, whether he's gay or straight in real life, plays gay on TV must be grandly trying to shake off that image at any possible opportunity is a bit... I don't know, rude in some way. I'm probably being totally hypocritical and will double back on myself next week, but right now it just seems a bit like piling-on and over-analyzing the hormonal bumblings of a teenager. So, there.

But, on the other hand, we received a tip that Paolo's costar, Ed Westwick, was at a basement gay bar recently hitting on some mens. So, hah! Game on!!

Update: A Facebook-roving tipster tells us that the girlfriend's name is, in fact, Alice. And they had the photos (from Facebook, natch) to prove it:

[Image via Splash]

OK, Fine: Gossip Girl Boys May Actually Like Girls

Richard — Thu, 29 May 2008 18:13:00 EDT

I may have implied earlier today, in our fun photo gallery, (and on many other occasions) that some of the male stars of TV's bitchy uptown soap Gossip Girl like to touch other boys' privates. Yeah, I like to joke/desperately hope that they're gay. But mounting photo evidence seems to suggest otherwise. Ed Westwick likes to smooch women in bed, Connor Paolo (who plays resident gay Erik van der Woodsen on the show) is a red-blooded seventeen-year-old (yikes!) breeder who likes to grind up ons young ladies (thanks for the photo, tipster), and Chace Crawford (the gayyyyyest one) likes to rub his face all over girls at bars. So, sigh, there you have it. Or! Maybe these guys just have very talented publicists! Click thru for larger image, plus another uncomfortable image from our previously mentioned tipster.

Manly Blogger Calls Us Gay!

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:16:22 EDT

A certain right-wing blogger has a question for us, via email: "Are all of the contributors to Gawker homosexuals, because there's a level of superciliousness that must be directly tied to sexual frustration and the inability to bond with other human beings." Whoa! We'll have him know that Gawker employs a veritable handful of heterosexuals. This guy was ostensibly upset that our coverage of Absolut's pro-Mexico ad (which the company has now apologized for) was not quite xenophobic enough. But what led this Republican internet soldier to target us in our vulnerable gay spot? It's probably his own past as a gay porn star—that does have a tendency to color one's perceptions.

Our assailer, Marine Corps veteran and big cock-haver Matt Sanchez, made his name in the right-wing blogosphere by complaining last year about the terrible mistreatment he was receiving at the hands of those vicious military-hating students at Columbia, where he was an undergrad. The fawning over him by conservative media outlets died down a bit after his former career as gay porn star "Rod Majors" came out. But he says he doesn't like men anymore because gays are like Islamic jihadis, or something! Republicans are so complicated.

The Liquor Ad That Only Gays Were Supposed To See

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:28:03 EDT

Gays: Here is one of the plainest insights you will ever get into how you are perceived by the liquor industry, and, by extension, by the advertising industry that gets paid to understand consumers such as yourself. Pictured here is an ad for Basil Hayden's whiskey that was placed in "general market" publications. Its tagline reads, "When you walk into a bar, you're on stage." After the jump, the tagline for the version of that same ad that was placed into Gay/ Lesbian publications:

The inescapable conclusion: They believe that only gays are fit for modeling! Outrageous. Or maybe it's something else, now that I think about it. Other possible conclusions in the comments, please.

[via MultiCultClassics]

Moby Is Annoying Friend To Gay Community

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:06:12 EDT

Moby, the bald purveyor of computer music who is Amy Winehouse's anti-drug, will not stop speaking out on or against any and all things. Now, he is reassuring the gay community that, although he didn't have the luck to be born gay, he does hope that his kids will be [Advocate]. What does the hairless downtown master of background tunes like so much about the gays? "They have nice homes, bars, and restaurants." Ok then!

You've been such an ally to the gay community that you've taken some heat for it — like when you stated in an interview that gays were "superior to straight people." Do you stand by that?

Yeah, and I also said that if and when I ever have children, I want gay children, which didn't really endear me to the Christian right wing of America. There are a lot of people in the world who are virulently homophobic or misogynistic or anti-Semitic, and what baffles me is that if you just look at it empirically, gays, women, and Jews are certainly responsible for far fewer violent crimes than straight white guys. They've started fewer wars, and they tend to be well educated, fun to hang out with, and they have nice homes, bars, and restaurants.

....

You've described yourself as "neither straight nor gay." Do you consider yourself bisexual?

I just like to think of myself as being pretty open-minded. Also, you never know what the future might bring, so I have no idea. It's a cliché to say this, but in a perfect world, the dichotomous definition of straight and gay would probably carry less weight.

Fine, hush now!

For Discussion: You Choose News Screws

Richard — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 12:57:37 EST

Welcome to the Gawker Locker Room: where maturity goes to die! Here your host and toastmaster Furious George will present a topic of discussion for open commentary, vigorous debate, and potential masturbatory purposes. Our topics will be diverse, random, juvenile, and vitally important. Last week I stated my intention to make the Gawker Locker Room is a safe place for womyn and geighs. And to that end, I thought about asking a nice and cheeky question. Something along the lines of: "Which male Gawker personality is the most fuckable?" But then I realized that everyone would pick me, and furthermore, that they'd be correct. So that question was out the window. And then I got to skimmin' every damned comment in the previous Locker Room thread, hoping to stumble across some juicy subject matter. One topic came up more consistently than most: Anderson Cooper. But once again, I think he's far too easy a subject. "Would you fuck Anderson Cooper?" has only one correct answer, and even I'm not ashamed to admit it. Besides, ol' Andy gets too much attention these days. Surely there are dozens, if not baker's dozens, of up-and-coming hunks and hotties lurking in Anderson's shadow. Why do we never discuss them? Why do we leave them of our greeting cards, our love letters, our interpretive watercolors, our one-act plays, our slash fiction, our self-administered tattoos, and our court orders? Do not they - the slavishly hard-working, the impressively credentialed, the hopelessly credible - deserve to be objectified? And so I ask you all: Which cable news hottie (male or female) is the most underrated, and why? Update: Commenter fiveinchtaint's Allison Williams link is totally NSFW.

"Leisure Wear Is One Of The Great Evils Of Our Times"

Choire — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 10:20:49 EDT

Lynn Hirschberg unloads in this weekend's Times' T mag on how all the moguls dress terribly nowadays; she lumps in the sometimes-bad dresser Barry Diller with the frequent offender Harvey Weinstein. "Scientists should stop investigating the links between fat friends, fast food and obesity and concentrate on the pernicious impact of stretch fabric. When a waistband can give and give, why should anyone stop eating? When a shirt does not need to be tucked in, who cares about the belly beneath?" Well... true! But she goes on to note that if lady-moguls dressed this poorly, their business choices would get seriously questioned. So did she miss the last two years of everyone asking if Harvey had lost it, having thrown an empire in the trash and all? And also that thing a couple weeks ago, when her fashion critic colleague Cathy Horyn called Harvey a "bearish hetero"?

The Emperors' New Clothes? [NYT]

Spiderman 3, Parent Sex, Roller Coasters Are Totally Lame, Say The Straights

Joshua Stein — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 15:15:53 EDT

Every once in a while we like to check in on College Humor, the lively and heterosexual forum. Sandwiched between the usual "Boxers v. Briefs" and "How to Get Laid" posts, we noticed a post about sweet new rides at Six Flags. Yay! I mean, Dude, awesome, bro! What else is sweet in the eyes of the straights? Um, apparently calling people gays ("more like FAGtastic"), Dorney Park and "your mother" jokes. (Is it any wonder single women in New York turn to cats and nuttiness?)

New Six Flags Roller Coasters [College Humor]

Coked Up Male Model Terrorizes Hamptons

Choire — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 12:20:48 EDT

Daily News scandalizer Ben Widdicombe has a question!

Which male model, who was recently in the tabloids due to his love life, had such bad paranoia due to his monster coke habit that on a weekend in the Hamptons a few years ago he slept with a kitchen knife because he was convinced people were out to get him?

Well, we're presuming it's a heterosexual male model, because otherwise that'd read "meth" not "coke," but?

Don't shoot the messenger [NYDN]