If you're wondering "Why on earth is she going on The Today Show, out of the blue, with apparently no show business to promote, to announce this?" you're not alone, but it turns out Meredith was drawn out of her private life by tabloids who threatened to reveal her "secret," and decided to own the story herself. After three failed marriages, she realized seven years ago that she was a lesbian; she told her kids and friends, and was living openly with her partner, Nancy, without feeling any need to announce it publicly until the tabloid situation arose. So basically, it's really no big deal. But Meredith did say that she hopes that people who remember her from her Family Ties days (aww!) will think of her when issues of gay rights and social equality come up, and have a more open mind. In a week full of scandals and famewhores, Meredith's lack of sensationalism and matter-of-factness is refreshing. Below is the segment in its entirety (don't miss the weird part where Matt asks her if she had a "B-movie moment" in which she ran to the mirror screaming "I'm gay! I'm gay").

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In all fairness, here's the original video:

And who couldn't think the idea was incredibly cheesy? Trying to recreate a special moment that happened a few months ago on national television is typically the kind of thing that will suck the blood out of said sentiment. But at the end of the day, the couple got to take their friends to New York - experience the complete and utter assy-ness of network tv execs - and eventually dance with the slight self-awareness that they're not actually great dancers. And have a great time doing it:

Not so bad, right? The couple, Kevin Heinz and Jill Peterson, had more fun at their wedding than anybody I've ever seen. Sure, the traditionalists amongst us might find it a little gauche, but really: can you blame them for enjoying themselves? Maura Johnston from Idolator nailed it, however, regarding their use of Chris Brown's song "Forever" for their dance:

This clip has done more for Brown's troubled career as a pop star than his apology regarding his February domestic-violence incident with Rihanna..

And it's true. Check out Brown's chart position today on the iTunes store for a months-old single that hasn't topped charts since before his domestic abuse issues came to light.Not bad for a guy who hasn't been able to shake a trail of bad press for months.

Granted, the video's not new: the couple were wed previous to Brown's savage abuse of Rihanna. But still, he definitely owes the happy couple a wedding present. And not to draw too big of a line, but...

Just days after Chris Brown publicly apologized for his February beating of then-girlfriend Rihanna, the two spent the weekend at the same luxury Midtown hotel under a cloak of secrecy, The Post has learned.

Yeah, they spent a few days hiding out from the world in a hotel together. So, better question: did a couple from Minnesota show Chris Brown and Rihanna what true love can be?

Probably not. Either way, if Chris Brown and Rhianna don't owe the happy couple a wedding present, maybe the rest of us do. It's nice to see what joy-filled newlyweds who aren't scary bridezillas or plucked from the savage waters of the New York Times Weddings and Celebrations look like every once in a while. Seriously.

Further reading:

Chris Brown Might Want To Send Jill And Kevin A Wedding Present [Idolator]
Secrets behind wacky Web wedding aisle dance [Today]
Is The Viral Video The New Status Symbol For Brides And Grooms? [Jezebel]

· Lionsgate is buying TV Guide Network and TV Guide for $255 million; stay tuned for breathless press release announcing their rebranding as The Tyler Perry Network and Madea's Favorite TV Stories.
· Speaking of magical negros, here's everything you always wanted to know about them but were afraid to ask.
· Apple unveils the new Macbook Wheel. Ooh, shiny new toys! We want! We want!
· Sad news: veteran reality show producer Kathy Wetherell was killed in car accident in Arizona on December 20. Some of her credits included The Real World, The Bachelor, Flavor of Love, and Charm School.
· Nip/Tuck's sixth season premieres tomorrow, in which we'll be introduced to a fellow who'd like a Tyrannosaurus Prick-reduction. This could make for awkwardness among those of you who have recently moved back in with your parents.
· Bill O'Reilly is gay. (Also: His vagina is about 4 feet wide with razor sharp teeth.)

It led her grandmother to die inside the walls of an asylum, which in turn caused her grandfather to take his own life a week later. Her mother then contracted the social disease. McCormick herself—while playing the perfect all-American girl on screen—was also secretly terrified that she too had caught it, counting down her last moments of sanity as she brushed her hair an obsessive 100 times. If that hasn't ruined The Brady Bunch for you forever, perhaps you'll be just as thrilled to learn that McCormick came thisclose to losing her virginity to Barry "Greg" Williams, that she also harbored a crush on her gay father, and that a casually tossed off comment about having kissed Jan (and liking it) has led to her estrangement from Eve Plumb. Harsha, harsha, harsha!

The interview:

• The Today Show

After lifting our jaw off the ground upon hearing Roker's response to the Griffin bump and grind ("Anyone got any cigarettes?"), we had to relocate our jaw once again as Griffin swiftly switched subjects to her hosting gig and, in a well-executed non-seguitur, finally said what has needed to be said about to-be rap star Ali Lohan for quite some time now. Explaining that she was given the job due to Ali and Dina Lohan's conflicting schedules (a joke, people, relax), she went ahead and launched our inner monologue right out into America's eardrums: "Yeah, Ali was busy doing her hip hop CD, because, you know, she’s white and 14 and lives on Long Island, so hip hop speaks to her." Oh Kathy. What was Woz thinking?

• THE TODAY SHOW [NBC]

We don't know about the circumstances of Oppenheim's departure from the NBC morning show, where he was a lone and provocative conservative. But the abrasive young producer was pushed out of Chris Matthews' Hardball on MSNBC after claiming in an article for The Weekly Standard that supposedly fearless reporters rarely left the well-protected Green Zone in Baghdad. (NBC's then anchor, Tom Brokaw, was particularly put out.)

And at Harvard, Oppenheim clashed with campus feminists, particularly when they wouldn't sleep with him. In a final column for the Harvard Crimson, Oppenheim wrote: "Apparently, it is easy to blame the patriarchy for all of your woes, and to silence your opponents with accusations of misogyny, but it is more difficult to actually deny oneself the pleasures of cavorting with said patriarchy's handsome sons."

Those articles remain on the web notwithstanding their abuse of bad-mouthed snobbish college girls and cowardly anti-war journalists. But a 2005 article by TV Newser's Brian Stelter (now a ferociously hard-working media reporter at the New York Times) about Oppenheim—Noah Oppenheim, Part Of America's First Family (What Do Capus & Brokaw Think?)— has mysteriously disappeared from the website.

Chris Ariens, Stelter's successor, knows Oppenheim vaguely from their time together at MSNBC. On the phone, he said he removed the item neither out of friendship or in response to a legal notice. But NBC flack Megan Kopf had told him the blog post showed up high in a search for Oppenheim's name, and linked to an article that was "potentially slanderous." (Anyone have a copy?)

TV Newser's Ariens is a wimp for accomodating NBC's pressure, but forget about him. Oppenheim ought to have a higher tolerance for "potential slander", having himself doled out so much of it.

And now I'm off.

As Natalie Morales' best week ever continues, the (also expecting) Today Show correspondent revealed yet another tidbit: Hoffman decided to let her (and, by extension, the entire world) know that the twins are due on August 19th. As Lost fans, we should probably go ahead and find out what secrets hide behind the numbers 8, 1, 9, and 19, but we don't have enough time (or shame) at the moment. With her privacy sufficiently invaded, Jolie let her guard down during a press conference in Cannes after a reporter asked where she planned on giving birth: "I actually haven't completely decided...We are certainly thinking of France." Which means she can finally check off another country on her International Soccer Team Nationality Map! Sadly for Sweden, Jolie isn't feeling the Scandinavian love right now: "Asked by a Swedish reporter if she'd consider giving birth in Sweden, Jolie responded, 'Not at this time... But, you never know, there's more babies.'" More babies? Where are "more babies" hiding and what bizarre names do they have? More importantly, do they attack The Chosen One with utensils like the rest of the team?

• ANGELINA'S TWINS ARE DUE AUG. 19 [People]
• ANGELINA JOLIE ALLUDES TO GIVING BIRTH IN FRANCE [Us]
• THE TODAY SHOW [MSNBC]

Whether she's introducing her audience to the magic of whiskey sours, or waxing enthusiastic about her love of vodka to Mer, or simply listing every single drink imaginable to poor perplexed Dave (um, did she really just say "wine spitzer"? We knew she had a funny bone, but among all the Luv Guv-related scandalicious terminology thrust at us from every media outlet we tune in to, that's gotta top our lists), Martha is no longer just the Queen of napkin-folding and flower arrangements. We're hiring her to bartend our next birthday party.

• THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW [Official Site]

Moments later, a pacified Meredith takes a look at a big ol' bottle of Bombay and announces, "I love the blue bottle!" Aging daytime diva antics aside, look out for an eerie moment when Martha's shaky robotic hand "chills" the martini glass. This is the first time we realized that not everything she touches turns to stone. Make sure to catch the end, when Meredith (are we sure she didn't down at least three of these things before taping?) utterly fails Straining 101, spilling ice cubes all over the set, herself and a visibly perturbed Martha. Shudder.

She listened to US critics compare to her to the likes of troubled pop star Britney Spears' mother Lynne, who propelled her daughter to early stardom as a Mouseketeer on US children's television show The Mickey Mouse Club. She was also stunned by comments on internet sites calling for her to be jailed because she had allowed her daughter to model at age 12; Maddison turned 13 on Sunday.

Mrs. Gabriel said she was trying to protect Maddison from the backlash and had chosen not to show her the American Today show segment, which is able to seen on the show's website on the internet. "It's hard because she uses the internet like any 13-year-old girl does ... at first she was excited to see her name come up on (web search engine) Google and had a giggle, but I don't want her to see what the sites are saying now. At the moment she doesn't know about it."

US television savages child model's mum [Goldcoast]

CHILDISH staffers at the "Today" show have been reduced to homophobic name-calling about their rivals at "Good Morning America" - Diane Sawyer, Chris Cuomo, Robin Roberts and Sam Champion. A network source says, " 'Today' staffers, from top to bottom, executives to interns, refer to 'GMA' as 'Gay-MA' " and snicker about the hosts. "GMA" has been gaining in the ratings on No. 1 "Today" and cut its lead in half. For their part, the "GMA" folks are said to refer to "Today" as "Yesterday." Reps for both shows declined to comment.

Sticks & Stones [NYP]