Bernie Sanders Is Going to the Vatican
At the invitation of none other than Cool Pope Francis himself, Bernie Sanders will be taking a trip to the to speak at the Vatican just four days before the New York primary.
Vatican Treasurer on Sex Abuse Case: "It's a Sad Story and It Wasn't Much Interest to Me"
Finally, an honest Catholic official!
Italian Reporter Refuses to Answer Vatican's Questions About Leaked Documents
An Italian journalist under criminal investigation by the Vatican was summoned to Vatican City this week, the Associated Press reports. The journalist, who published a book, based on leaked documents, about scandals at the Vatican, said Tuesday that he refused to answer a prosecutor’s questions.
Vatican City is its own state with its own laws and you may be surprised to learn that one of those laws is that the practice of journalism is illegal. Cool Pope or Not-So-Cool Pope? You decide.
Pope Francis Issues Apology But Doesn't Specify For What
Many Catholics are probably familiar with the feeling of ambient, unspecified guilt. And not just lay Catholics, apparently! Pope Francis would also like to apologize for... something.
Vatican Fires Gay Priest on Eve of Bishops' Synod on Church Outreach
On Sunday, the Associated Press reports, the Vatican fired Krzysztof Charamsa, a monsignor and mid-level official in its doctrine office, who came out as gay in newspaper interviews in Italy and Poland just ahead of the Catholic bishops’ synod to discuss church outreach.
Vatican Adopts Balloons as Symbols of Satan's Power
Yesterday, the Catholic Church released hordes of colorful balloons in St. Peter's Square, a gesture meant to symbolize the triumph of Satan's power over life on earth.
Cool Pope Francis is going to replace the entire leadership of the Vatican Bank because they're scandal-plagued and also their profits fell 97% last year. Wow, bet god is really proud of that shitty bank... get your shit together, Cool Pope.
Archbishop Says the Vatican Has Punished Thousands of Priests
An Archbishop gave the first real explanation of what the Vatican does with priests who are accused of raping or molesting children during a UN committee hearing on torture today.
14 Cocaine-Stuffed Condoms Intercepted on the Way to Vatican City
Pope Francis, coolest pope, has not made a statement regarding a package of cocaine that was intercepted by German authorities in January, but the all-white getup is starting to make some sense.
Japanese Tech Company to Digitize Vatican Library Archives
Pope Francis is the chillest pope that the Vatican has ever seen: uttering "fuck" at weekly blessings, admiring chocolate statues of himself, picking up hitchhikers in his tricked-out Popemobile. But now the man in charge of thousands of precious documents wants the underlings of the internet to have access.
Pope Says Atheists Are A-OK By God
In impromptu remarks made during yesterday's Mass in his residence, Pope Francis shocked many by declaring that atheists can be just as good as Catholics if they "do good."
Here Are the Top Pornos Downloaded in the Vatican
Once you've seen the Sistine Chapel six or seven times, life in Vatican City can get a bit... boring (we imagine). So what else is there to do? According an analysis by TorrentFreak and Scaneye: download pirated porn.
Current and Former Popes Do Lunch, Bro Down
In what is going on public record as the first modern meeting of present and former popes, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI grabbed lunch with newly elected Pope Francis at Castel Gandolfo.
Joe Drops By New Pope's Inaugural Mass
What did Vice President Joe Biden and newly-ensconced Pope Francis talk about in their brief conversation on the long receiving line following the new pope's first mass? It's probably best left to historians and Joe/Frank 'shippers (#Friden), but one imagines the working class came up, as it often does (we hear) in…
Dennis Rodman Is at the Vatican in a Flower-Printed Coat
Where in the world is Dennis Rodman? Dennis Rodman is, at this moment, in Vatican City, where he is apparently campaigning for Ghanaian cardinal Peter Turkson and seeking to arrange a meeting with whomever is elected. On the one hand we don't want to encourage this; on the other, well, anything to keep Rodman out of…
Peaced-Out Pope Gives Final Address: 'I'm Not Coming Down From the Cross'
Some 50,000 people turned out at the Vatican today to watch Pope soon-to-be-Emeritus Benedict XVI give his farewell address at St. Peter's Square, cheering and waving flags as the 85-year-old Pontiff, born Joseph Ratzinger, summed up his papacy: "The Lord gave us days of sun and of light breeze, days in which the…
Vatileaks to the Knights Templar: the Speculation, Gossip and Conspiracy About Pope Benedict's Abdication
Early Monday morning, Pope Benedict XVI announced his plans to resign at the end of the month. Within minutes, gossips and conspiracy theorists across the internet were animated with discussion, all assuming that the pope's advanced age—his stated reason for the abdication—had nothing to do with the decision. Why did…
Pope Quits
Pope Benedict XVI announced on Monday that he will resign the Papacy, effective February 28th, citing his declining health. "I have had to recognise my incapacity to adequately fulfil the ministry entrusted to me," Benedict wrote in a statement. He is the first pope since 1415 to resign, and the office wil remain…
