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no
'Could [X] Have Saved Michael Jackson?'
A real thing someone wrote: "Strength Training: Could It Have Saved MJ?" From a Demerol overdose? Not likely, crazy fitness blogger. Not even Lou Ferrigno could get Michael Jackson to lift weights! Not even Super Squats could have saved him. -
mysteries
Catcher in the Rye Sequel: Actual Disaster or Lame Hoax?
The world needs a Catcher in the Rye sequel like it needs an asshole on its elbow. Well, since New Jersey exists, so too must the book. Some debut novelist has published an unauthorized sequel. More » -
my brilliant career
Can This Tom Cruise Be Saved?
Kim Masters thinks so, judging by her career assessment in The Daily Beast today. She discusses the troubled actor's path to redemption—funnee movie roles and Matt Lauer apologies—and determines him on the mend. More » -
theories
Gay Marriage Hatin' Miss California Is From the Future
Are you familiar with illdoc, the DJ/video blogger who expounds on political issues of the day in a really cool way? I just discovered him, and love his take on that whole Miss California thing. -
updates
Freddie Mac Wanted Suicide CFO To Relax
David Kellerman, the Freddie Mac CFO who committed suicide this week, was told by HR to take some time off from work, shortly before he killed himself. The "job stress" scenario looks ever more likely. More » -
theories
Big Psychology Nerd Talks 'Snark'
Only boorish, unqualified loudmouths like bloggers and David Denby have weighed in on the world's most grating question, "What's with all this snark?" Until now! An actual psychologist has a theory. More » -
beautiful awards
Finally, Oscar Broadcast Awarded Some Viewers
Last night's supergay Oscars broadcast was up 6% in the ratings from last year, and was the highest-rated "entertainment telecast" in two years. Was it the gay stuff that drew people in? Sorta. More » -
theories
Poster Boy: Man or Movement?
The suddenly absurdly famous subway ad remix vandal Poster Boy is seriously committed to this "Poster Boy is a movement, not one guy" thing. Reality, or a way to avoid conviction? Attempted fact check time! More » -
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politics
Caroline Kennedy Failure Theories Explained
Thus far there are five major competing theories as to why Caroline Kennedy pulled out of the Senate race so suddenly and mysteriously. We list them, and give exact statistical odds, below: More » -
caroline kennedy
Was It Something We Said?
Well now, the "Why did Caroline Kennedy Drop Out?" parlor game grows ever more interesting! The latest reasons being floated: nanny issues, tax issues, and all the dang gossip on this very website: More » -
recessionomics
The Fall of the Almost-Rich
New York magazine, the bible of an entire class of affluent aspirationals, has already cut its masthead; now, it's instituting widespread pay cuts. In the "All New"economy, its audience is fading away. More » -
theories
History of the American Economy as Told by Hip Hop Videos
Did you know that hip hop videos have been scientifically proven to subtly embody everything you need to know about the state of US popular and political culture? Proof in four easy examples: More » -
literature
The Internet: Good for Reading
Victoria Blake told NPR today that she started her own publishing company when she realized she was just wasting her free time reading Gawker. Have trashy websites like ours killed literature? Au contraire, yall! More » -
avatars
Your Life Is A Picture
You know what's important these days? Appearances. Reality is something you're stuck with: you're ugly, out of shape, and none too charismatic. But appearances—now there's something you can do something about! That's why selecting the right online avatar to represent yourself on Facebook is now the single most important choice that you will make in your life, according to some people willing to be quoted spouting bullshit theories about any old thing: More » -
just imagine
What A Day Without Gays Would Look Like
Have you heard that gay people are angry? It's true! They are so angry because California has decided it likes them as a couple, but it just doesn't see them getting married. (And other states don't think they'd be very good parents). Now there is a movement a rumbling in bathhouses and L.L. Bean stores across the nation calling for a Gay Boycott. On December 10th of this hallowed year, A Day Without Gays would like everyone to "call in Gay" to work. To not shop, to not participate in civics in any way. As a form of protest. We think it's kind of an interesting idea, and wonder, if it really was pulled off, what would happen? (131,000+ have already joined the Facebook Event!) What would this windblown nation of ours look like if for one 24 hour period, the gays let their absence do the talking? We'll conjure up some visions after the jump. More » -
peeling the apple
In Which I Try To Explain Twilight
I know that you will probably stab me in the heart with a wooden stake for doing this, but I'm going to write another post about Twilight. You there, under the rock? Twilight is: spectacularly shitty book series by Stephanie Meyer and now a movie (out today! it's bad!) about a dimensionless girl named Bella and the suave sex vampire that she loves, named Edward. It's swoony moony goony shit, and, again, is terribly, monstrously, embarrassing-for-the-whole-of-the-craftly bad. So why on earth is it so popular, and what is Twilight, I mean really what is it? I will attempt to answer those IMPORTANT questions after the jump. Then you can elucidate (please! please!) in the comments.
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la times
Bounty On Terrorist Obama Muslim Tape Can Save Newspapers!
You may have heard that the Commie LA Times has in its possession a video of Barack Hussein Obama giving a speech in 2003 in which he declares his friendship with Rashid Khalidi, a Columbia professor and Palestinian activist who, clearly, probably knows some terrorists from the Middle East. The LAT says they won't release the video because they promised their confidential source they wouldn't, which is pretty ironclad reasoning. But the truth about these two Muslims and their plotting must come out—and be available on YouTube!—according to the McCain campaign. Luckily there's a way for the layoff-plagued newspaper to appear heroic and score some much-needed cash at the same time: More » -
ijustine
Pretty Girls Becoming Popular Online: What Does It Mean?
Justine Ezarik is a pretty blond girl who calls herself "iJustine" and gets hundreds of thousands of hits on her YouTube videos of her doing completely irrelevant bullshit like shopping or telling boring stories to the camera, because of the fact that young men will generally watch pretty blond girls do anything, which then makes said girl popular, which then attracts young female viewers, who will watch popular girls do anything. Mindless lemmings drawn to reflections of our own vapid selves, we all are. For a more thoughtful exploration of this issue, let's see what former Gawker ed. Emily Gould has to say: More » -
theories
Anna Wintour's Perfect Man
Earlier today, following the news that Vogue editrix Anna Wintour has a little crush on actor Gerard Butler, Radar compiled a list of some of Anna's known paramours. It's a strange mix of gents. B-baller LeBron James, country club hero Roger Federer, Monty Python's Eric Idle, Condé Nast chairman Si Newhouse (oohhh..), and, um, Bob Marley. Yes! Bob Marley. Heh heh. Well, because it's such a varied group of dudes, we got to wondering... who exactly would be Anna Wintour's perfect man? We tapped our Photoshop whiz Steve Dressler and employed some of our own inductive reasoning and have come up with a fellow called Archie Bronson, a writer and public speaker. Read a little about Archie and see a photo after the jump. More » -
details
Actual Proof That Details Is Gay
Ever since gaymen's magazine Details launched, sharp-sighted observers—those with two eyeballs—have pointed out that it is, essentially, a gay magazine. We were writing about it five years ago! It's led to years and years of jokes about the magazine's gay contests and gay covers and gay vending machines. But now, at long last, we have actual proof that Details is, without a doubt, a solid member of the homosexual magazine cabal: More » -
theories
What Killed The Viral Video?
Recently Videogum did a little deep dive into the world of viral videos, and came back with some interesting findings. It seems that 2006 was the peak year for dumb mashups, terrible singers, heartwarming lion hugs, and all manner of other popular YouTube crap (basically all those people that got killed on that one episode of South Park). So what's happened since then? Where have all the virals gone? Well, we think they're kinda dead, and after the jump we'll tell you why.
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rants
How Celebrity Sex Tapes Ruined America, One Thrust At A Time
The Three Fates are almost done spinning the American narrative, Atropos readying her scissors to deliver one final snip. When the story is done the great heralding beacon of the end of days will burn brightly, in the form of a Britney Spears sex tape. Yes indeed the misbegotten pop star apparently filmed herself in flagrante delicto with her old creepy paparazzo boyfriend Adnan Ghalib, and now he's waving it around threatening to release it. How did we get to this point? Well, after the jump we'll take a look at three other celebrity sex tapes that, had our foresight only been as 20/20 as our hindsight, we could have recognized as the end of everything.
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bonnie fuller
Why Does Bonnie Fuller Keep Writing Things?
Former Star editor Bonnie Fuller, who floats menacingly over the celebrity media like mist on a bog, has a new web venture in the works. She also has an insatiable thirst for money. And, of course, she has but a tenuous grasp on reality as a whole. Which of these is the explanation for the elusive question: Why the fuck has she spent the last several months writing the same meandering column over and over for increasingly unlikely outlets? More » -
television
Watching Rich People Makes All the Misery of Being Poor Just Disappear
Everyone's always been miserable, except when they're watching rich people. As if previously operating under the crazy idea that people watch television to see their own lives reflected back at them, television writers today are all a-tizzy about the amount of shows about rich people, scratching their heads and wondering why, in this time of foreclosures and defaulted mortgages and soaring gas prices, anyone would want to watch something about people with overabundances of money. Their theory is that shows like Gossip Girl, Dirty Sexy Money, Lipstick Jungle, and the upcoming CW series 90210 and Privileged all create wish-fulfillment in mostly hopeless times. And, um yeah!, they're right!
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lauryn hill
"Sweet Like Licorice, Dangerous Like Syphilis"
The Root's theory on what caused the musical decline of former hip hop goddess Lauryn Hill: an aversion to fame, a cult-like relationship with a succession of religious figures, and a rocky love life. My theory: smoking that crazy crack, it looks like! [The Root] -
advertising
An Original Viral Marketing Tactic: Excellence
This Schweppes ad became a YouTube hit. Why? Because its photography is beautiful. It shows something stunning and naturally draws people in. What it decidedly isn't is a crass attempt to "go viral" with some sort of shocking riff on a pop culture moment aimed a specific demographic group. Which is why we picked this clip to illustrate our foolproof theory of "Viral Reality" (not pertaining to disease): More » -
television
The Great Drought of 2008
Yesterday Videogum watched old 30 Rock clips and wistfully remembered a time when television was good. And we do not blame them. TV has royally sucked these past few summer months, no matter what the spin doctors at cable nets try to tell you (characters are not welcome!). There weren't even any breakout reality hits this summer, unless you count Wipeout, which is essentially an hour of people slowly farting on camera while John Henson chuckles and regrets ever quitting Talk Soup. What happened? More » -
theories
Celebrity Curses Make the World Go 'Round
Have you heard? Samuel L. Jackon is going to die. It's because of some cursed photograph that has already snuffed out singer Isaac Hayes and comedian Bernie Mac. This augury is supported by the ancient celebrity Rule of Three, which demands that once one famous person's blood has been shed, so too must two others'. To satisfy the gods of wrath, I guess. Or Harvey Weinstein. Seriously, people are pretty sold on this whole theory. But why? I know that we're partly deluding ourselves because it's fun, but there's got to be some deeper meaning to it all. More » -
montauk monster
Is The Montauk Monster Satan's Bacon?
Here's the thing about the beached monster of Montauk: In all the pictures, its big canine teeth are visible on the bottom of its mouth but not on top. Dogs generally have their biggest canines on top plus a couple of smaller ones on the bottom. You know who has big canines on the bottom? Pigs! See the picture, left top, via the wildlife blogger behind Animal Tourism, who first floated the pig theory. Not only are many domesticated pigs slaughtered throughout the country for delicious pork products, but also there has apparently been a huge boom in the U.S. wild pig population. So it's not a stretch to imagine one washing up in Long Island. If this creature is a pig, it would fit with this email tip we got a few days ago:
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montauk monster
Montauk Monster: VOLE Or SATAN?
We've received a lot of different theories about what exactly the Montauk Monster really is (a monster). But one tipster went to so much trouble to assemble a very interesting montage of photos—complete with key encircled highlight areas—that we feel we must bring you their work. "All in all I believe this is no 'monster' or 'Satan' simply a case of mistaken identity," the tipster writes. The monster is not Satan? Ridiculous, we know. But when you get a load of the included X-ray, well, it certainly gives the misguided nonbelievers something to think about. Click through for the full (and colorful!) photo presentation in favor of what we are now calling "The Vole Theory":
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good luck with your hell demons
5 Reasons Why We Are So Fascinated By the Montauk Monster
So that new picture of the Montauk Monster, you know the one from Newsday that makes it look a lot more like a dog? We say it's bunk. The thing is in a completely different position, its little front legs aren't bound, plus they claim the photo was taken on the same day as the original. And I'm no Bill Nye, but I'm pretty sure things don't decompose that fast. So yeah, it's fake! Or it really is a dead dog. But ours is still a monster. The bigger question, though, really, is why are we and many other people so interested? What is it about the Montauk Monster that intrigues us so? I'll try to provide some answers—in listicle form because it's a fucking Friday—after the jump.
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the cinema
How The Dark Knight Became the Biggest Movie In the History of Ever
So it may have been marketed and hyped to a near-exhausting degree, but people were undaunted in seeing The Dark Knight in theaters this weekend, making it the highest-grossing first weekend for a movie ever. The record-setting number, $155.4m, is a bit padded, I'm sure, by increasingly high ticket prices and the record-breaking number of screens that the Batman epic flickered on, Friday-Sunday. But mostly I think we can chalk up the film's mega-success to just a perfect fever pitch of buzz; bordering on too loud, maybe, but tantalizingly so. Everyone wanted to see this movie to prove the hoopla right or wrong. (For my money it was right. Mostly.) So what exactly contributed to this insane zeitgeist? We'll take a look at three factors after the jump. More » -
boing boing
The Media Cool Kids: Never As Cool As You Think
Internet freedom advocates—a group that includes just about every blogger—are up in arms at the revelation that Boing Boing, the incredibly popular this-and-that blog, has purged its archives of all the works of Violet Blue, a blogger who also contributes to Gawker sex site Fleshbot. The reason for the disappearance is unclear; but whatever it is, it can't fit in well with Boing Boing co-editor Cory Doctorow's free speech crusading. But you can file it under one of the great universal truths: Media People (of all stripes) Are Touchier Than Anybody. More » -
theories
Is Katherine Heigl Being Sabotaged By Grey's Anatomy Writers?
The Katherine Heigl hate continues. New York magazine television writer Emma Rosenblum wrote an angry open letter to the Grey's Anatomy actress on NYM's Vulture blog today, in which she suggests that perhaps the material Heigl was given on Grey's did not "warrant an Emmy nomination" (as the Knocked Up star so publicly and rudely stated) because the writers were deliberately trying to screw her over. Regarding complaints that Heigl's character, Izzie, was exasperating and intolerable this past season, Rosenblum asks Heigl: "Have you ever thought that maybe the writers are incorporating your own personality into that of your character?" Some of you commenters suggested that last week as well. Wouldn't that be a wonderfully tricky stratagem of the writers? Burn her character to the ground. We're sure it's happened before... More » -
debates
Non-Racist Whites Simply Don't Like Obama's Race
John McWhorter—Bill Buckley-esque NY Sun columnist and bizarre racial thinker—has taken his bizarre racial thinking act over to the New York Times for a day, presumably because conservative black academic columnists are hard to come by in New York City on a holiday weekend. In a video debate on the Times' website, McWhorter advances the novel theory that Barack Obama doesn't have to worry about racism; just his race. Here's an example of a statement that he says is not racist: "I won't vote for a black person because he's a radical type and would bring in Farrakhan." And hey, how come black people can hang around each other and it's okay, but white people can't? It's because "white people aren't allowed to be diverse." Okay! The other guy is, frankly, no match for McWhorter's secret redefinitions of words that negate their own meaning. The baffling debate, after the jump. More » -
explanations
Find Where Facebook Ranks Your Friends
This morning we posted the "Nefarious O Value" theory of the mystery Facebook Stalker feature. Now, a second tech-savvy tipster writes in with step-by-step instructions for how to find Facebook's unexplained "O" ranking for every single one of your friends on the site. In other words—from what we can gather, at least—there's a file on your computer that tells you exactly how the site's algorithms rank each and every person in your social circle. The instructions are after the jump. Please write in and let us know what your results are. The code may soon be cracked! More » -
mysteries
The "Nefarious O Value" Facebook Stalker Theory
Yesterday we posted five theories about the mysterious Facebook Stalker feature—the one some people think is an undercover way to identify those ex-lovers who are still pining for you, although that is totally unconfirmed and probably false. But we have to admit, none of those theories involved any weird computer language or technical terms. But an astute reader has sent us a theory that, based on the fact that I can't really understand its technical talk, sounds very insightful. We'll call it the "Nefarious O Value" theory. The full email is after the jump. More » -
theories
Banksy Unmasked?
Banksy: millionaire street artist, fierce cultural critic, celebrity darling of the art world. The man's prestige has been immeasurably enhanced by his anonymity. He insists on it, and it gives him an air of mystery that only increases his allure to the media, fans, and collectors alike. An alleged photo of him was widely circulated last year, but it certainly didn't result in his real name being printed in his omnipresent media coverage. Those in his inner circle insist on strict concealment of his identity. Theories, of course, abound. But today, Bucky Turco at Animal NY believes he's stumbled upon Banksy's true identity. Combined with some corroborating evidence we got ourselves, the case is plausible—though far from proven. Now this would be big news:
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journalismism
Washington Post Reports: Powerful People Are Powerful
David Rothkopf, a highly educated scholar at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace, penned an explosive op-ed for the Washington Post that could upend the global power structure and spark revolution across the earth. Because it seems that our world—far from being one in which each of the 6 billion humans shares in an equal portion of the political, economic, and cultural power, as you had believed—is actually run by a "superclass" of people who control everything. Rothkopf reports, in direct contradiction to everything that your third grade social studies teacher promised you, that very powerful people are, in fact, very powerful. Bummer! More » -
television
Three Reasons Why No One's Watching TV Dramas
Since the strike ended (feels like three years ago) shows like Desperate Housewives, Ugly Betty, and House have seen ratings dip. Television people—who are always scratching their heads, every day, it is their whole job—are running around, desperately trying to come up with ANSWERS. Bill Carter ventures to help them in the New York Times today, saying it's serialized story lines that are keeping people away, while The TV Addict wonders if it has anything to do with videogames. What's happening here? Why is everyone tuning out? Find out after the jump. More »

































