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What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir

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Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
Wait, when was she in New Zealand?
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gladys_kravitz
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
She has Joker Mouth. Has anyone ever seen her teeth?
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satyricrash
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
It can't be more boring than American Wife.
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Clare
01/05/09

@satyricrash: Whaaaa? I'm reading American Wife right now and I'm really enjoying how Lau--I mean, Alice Lindgren--is kind of a stick in the mud but has this a secret slutty streak.
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Tremonius
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
It's very complicated, this naming business down south. You will have a variety of nicknames given out by those with no imagination. The standard Okie namer was of course as we all remember Gene Autry. Pat Butrum, his sidekick, reports: "In all our movies together, he was Gene Autry and I was Pat Butrum. That's so he didn't have to learn new names."

So these okies name the feline "Kitty" as an imaginative option, just to prove they're smarter than Gene Autry, which everyone but Dohbya and Simple Sarah obviously is.
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jasonelias
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
I hope she calls it The Enabler.
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Lysergic Asset
01/05/09

@jasonelias: Great.
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Glitterbug (likes life shaken, not stirred)
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
You just know that cat had an agenda. Probably India/Willie/Kitty had an unpublished memoir somewhere, too...
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
Is that her moisting look?
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Lysergic Asset
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
Middle-Aged Tourist Wonders if Middle-Eastern Man's Spear is That Lomg
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BookishLookish
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
This is gonna be a total snore.

My favorite first-lady memoir is not by a president's wife, but a governor's: C'nelia by Cornelia "the Jackie Kennedy of the Rednecks" Wallace, wife of Alabama governor George Wallace. If you ever see it, grab it up, it's a total riot.
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i'm a bottle
01/05/09

@BookishLookish: That sounds like a good piece of advice. Can you give us a little taste though?
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jrhys
01/05/09

@BookishLookish: Yes I need an excerpt please.
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BookishLookish
01/05/09

@i'm_a_bottle: Oh, too bad I cannot as it's at home in my library, next to my bio of Lulu from Hee Haw!
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Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate
01/05/09

@jrhys: Excerpt "*As colorful a character as her brother Jim, Ruby Folsom was seen by some as a possible competitor of her daughter's for Wallace's affections. "Shoooot, honey," scoffed Ruby, who is nearly six feet tall. "He ain't even titty high." After she campaigned for George this year in Florida, some on the Wallace staff seemed to consider her an embarrassment, and she was miffed. "Ah'm scared they're gonna tell George ah was drinkin' too much and showin' my fanny," she told a Washington Post reporter."
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Tremonius
01/05/09

@BookishLookish: i remember when Bremer shot her hubby in the pants, it was rumored by his staff, so to speak, that he was rendered incapable of infidelity, which meant any charges of such were unfounded. Not so, reported Lurleen. "He can and does."
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lalaland13
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
What? India the kitty is dead? But she seemed so full of life and annoyed by Barney in the Christmas video!
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belltolls
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
Where did she go to smoke when she was in the WH?
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Mount_Prion
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
They called it "Kitty" because "Turdblossom" was taken.
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Rumpelstilskin
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
Dear Diary,

The Decider wanted some "sugar" last night. Thankfully, it was over in 90 seconds. Got through more of the new Barbara Cartland afteward.
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Puss_In_Boots
01/05/09

@Rumpelstilskin: Ha ha! I love it! "Sugar" is now my name for sex.
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Tremonius
01/05/09

@Puss_In_Boots: White folk never could understand old blues tunes. They thought "If you donnnnnn't wants my sugah, then doncha be lickin' my bowl" was straight up about table manners.
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ShanghaiLil
01/05/09

@Tremonius: Actually, to be fair, among southern white people, the word "sugar" actually refers to an entirely desexualized, if often exaggerated and noisy, form of kissing usually extended from elderly relatives to children. Contextual example: "Come ovah heah and give MeeMaw some sugar?" (followed by loud smacking noises).

Even today, that sentence has a profound and primal effect on me, the closest analogy to which that I can think of being "Miss Kockenlocker, it's time for your enema now."
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Rumpelstilskin
01/05/09

@ShanghaiLil: Quite true, it was one of my grandmother's terms. While we were on the subject, "shortening bread," as in "Mammy's little baby love shortening, shortening," was black slang for routine, unappetizing sex.
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raphaela
01/05/09

@Rumpelstilskin: My eyebrows just flew off my head! Well, there's one less song to sing to my child.
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ShanghaiLil
01/05/09

@raphaela: Fuck it. Keep singing. Ignorance in general may not be the best strategy, but this is a highly unusual instance when what the little darling doesn't know isn't going to hurt it. And "Shortening Bread" is a fun song. Have you ever seen the episode of I LOVE LUCY when they're driving cross-country just before the movie-star-laden set of episodes in LA? Turns out Albuquerque, NM is Ethel's hometown (who knew?), and they throw a big celebration with a banner reading "ETHEL MAE POTTER: WE NEVER FORGOT HER," and Ethel sings "Shortening Bread?"
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Rumpelstilskin
01/05/09

@ShanghaiLil: I remember. Does Lucy try to sabotage with the swing in her teeth?
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BookishLookish
01/05/09

@raphaela: You can sing the Bugs Bunny version instead: Mama's little baby loves rabbit stew!
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BookishLookish
01/05/09

@ShanghaiLil: My little son was born in New York City and is a Yankee like his ma. My husband was born in New Orleans and all his people live in the South. When BL Jr. age of four went to visit them and his grandmother asked him for some sugar, he said, "It's in the sugar bowl, I'll get it," and the little guy ran into the kitchen to fetch it. Too cute.
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ClickClickThud
01/06/09

@ShanghaiLil: So that's what Def Leppard was talking about.
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RapidOffensiveUnit
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
It's as if the memoir were written by a duck. She must be a witch.
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Tremonius
01/05/09

@RapidOffensiveUnit: It's reported the only standard demanded by the publisher is that the book must float.
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Urbania
01/05/09

In reply to What To Expect From Laura Bush's Memoir
i only clicked on this article to discover who that pole-dancing hottie is.
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topsy
01/05/09

@Urbania: Thank you! I could give damn about Mrs. Shrub; just introduce me to that guy!
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