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New York, 4:55 PM
Tue Dec 1
55 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Your Guide to the New Yorker Festival

    The World's Least Exciting Sperm Facial

    Poster Boy Moves To a Bigger Canvas

    Saving You A Trip Down Madison Avenue

    Your Future Job: Superyacht Deckhand

    Vanity Fair's Guide To The Summer

    Stabby Hack Hacks Back For Gory Tab Story

    Ball-Powdering Sensation Sweeping The Nation

    You Have Hopscotch To Live For
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    09/18/09

    In reply to Your Guide to the New Yorker Festival
    Will Salman Rushdie be discussing what it's like to nail Padma Lakshmi? Because that'll definitely bump my interest level in this event up a few notches...
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    09/18/09

    @DahlELama:
    I don't know how you verify this, but I'm betting she's a lox in the sack.
     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @Smitros: Are you suggesting she couldn't cream your cheese? I would still like to caper with her.
     Reply
    Edited by The Lone Scout at 09/18/09 1:56 PM The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    09/18/09

    @The Lone Scout:
    Were I single, prolly. But my one single-guy experience with that sort of eye candy makes me wonder if, at least sometimes, foxy=loxy.
     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @Smitros: I would try to come back with something involving lemon juice and dill sprigs, but I think I've already worn out the whole brunch-in-the-sack metaphor.
     Reply
    Edited by The Lone Scout at 09/18/09 3:24 PM The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of ShreeparnaAristodemus ShreeparnaAristodemus
    09/18/09

    In reply to Your Guide to the New Yorker Festival
    Nice job on the New Yorker festival screwing up the URL for the ticket sales. Everything decent sold out.
     Reply
    marin79 promoted this comment Nick Denton approved this comment ShreeparnaAristodemus was starred ShreeparnaAristodemus was unstarred
    Image of hamburgerhotdog hamburgerhotdog
    09/18/09

    In reply to Your Guide to the New Yorker Festival
    Dirty Projectors show Friday night?
     Reply
    hamburgerhotdog was starred hamburgerhotdog was unstarred
    Image of Iceland Spar Iceland Spar
    09/18/09

    In reply to Your Guide to the New Yorker Festival
    I would come to the Gawker Festival only if we wore masks representative of our avatars.
     Reply
    Iceland Spar was starred Iceland Spar was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    09/18/09

    @Iceland Spar: What if your avatar is a snapshot of nothingness?
     Reply
    Edited by snugbug at 09/18/09 11:42 AM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of Better to Eat You With Better to Eat You With
    09/18/09

    @snugbug: Lampshade.
     Reply
    snugbug promoted this comment Better to Eat You With was starred Better to Eat You With was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    09/18/09

    @Better to Eat You With: Or bank robber ski mask.
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    09/18/09

    @snugbug: Nixon mask
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @Iceland Spar: I would come to the Gawker Festival only if other commenters really looked like their avatars. (I'm not ready to have cold water poured on my randy fantasies about certain commenters.)

    PS Yes, I'm male, I ride and shoot, and I do prefer the wild trail to my cubicle, but I'm not a Native American.
     Reply
    Edited by The Lone Scout at 09/18/09 12:03 PM The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    09/18/09

    @BookishLookish: Or Banksy mask.
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    09/18/09

    @The Lone Scout:
    This probably doesn't involve your fantasies (I hope), but I look almost exactly like my avatar.
     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @Smitros: No fantasies for you, other than my favorite armadillo recipes, my little armored friend.
     Reply
    Edited by The Lone Scout at 09/18/09 12:35 PM The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    09/18/09

    @The Lone Scout:
    I'm scrawny (only 4K of memory, I think), so you can find better.
     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @Iceland Spar: I heard that at the Jezebel Festival they're going to saddle up Sarah Jessica Parker for kiddie rides.

    [Gratuitous equine humor in the absence of actual SJP post]
     Reply
    Edited by The Lone Scout at 09/18/09 12:45 PM The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @snugbug: I like you just for being, and consider you more than nothingness.
     Reply
    The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @Smitros: Mmmm, barbequed armadillo on a spit, Mexican armadillo casserole, mu shu armadillo...
     Reply
    The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of hamburgerhotdog hamburgerhotdog
    09/18/09

    @Iceland Spar: If I did that horrible violence would ensue. Against me.
     Reply
    hamburgerhotdog was starred hamburgerhotdog was unstarred
    Image of aLostLady aLostLady
    09/18/09

    @snugbug: Your name speaks far louder than any visual ever could, and you will forever be très adorable in my mind. Masks be damned.
     Reply
    aLostLady was starred aLostLady was unstarred
    Image of DahlELama DahlELama
    09/18/09

    @The Lone Scout: Well I know it's hard not to have randy fantasies about my avatar, but in all honestly, this isn't my usual shade of lipstick. The rest is dead on though, so hopefully I won't disappoint.
     Reply
    DahlELama was starred DahlELama was unstarred
    Image of Smitros Smitros
    09/18/09

    @The Lone Scout:
    W/Leprosy!
     Reply
    Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @Smitros: Blue ribbon for overshare. Let's get back to our discussion of Padma's potential loxiness, shall we?
     Reply
    Edited by The Lone Scout at 09/18/09 2:14 PM The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @DahlELama: "DahlELama," eh? Sorry, I'm Presbyterian.
     Reply
    The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    09/18/09

    @aLostLady: @The Lone Scout: Aww.. sweet.
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @snugbug: Yes, but mine was sweet with existentialism on top.
     Reply
    The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of Nic Fit Nic Fit
    09/18/09

    In reply to Your Guide to the New Yorker Festival
    I will be the guy in Juggalo drag.
     Reply
    Nic Fit was starred Nic Fit was unstarred
    Image of resipsaloquacious resipsaloquacious
    09/18/09

    In reply to Your Guide to the New Yorker Festival
    Meh... I'll be at the Big Lebowski convention.
     Reply
    resipsaloquacious was starred resipsaloquacious was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    09/18/09

    @resipsaloquacious: I'm joining you with bells on. This whole New Yorker thing sounds like one big snore.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of snugbug snugbug
    09/18/09

    @BookishLookish: The attendees to the Malcom Gladwell talk should bring along pillows, blankets and canned food supplies. Can't stop, won't stop until he hits the 2.5 billion-word mark.
     Reply
    snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred
    Image of The Lone Scout The Lone Scout
    09/18/09

    @snugbug: Perhaps someone in the audience needs to shout, "You lie!"
     Reply
    The Lone Scout was starred The Lone Scout was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    08/12/09

    In reply to The World's Least Exciting Sperm Facial
    Reminds me of what a friend of mine said: "British scientists produce human sperm" Big deal, I've been doing that for years!
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of scallywag scallywag
    08/11/09

    In reply to The World's Least Exciting Sperm Facial
    Is there something like a female version of this or something, where you get to have female jizz splayed on your face in the neo age arena of a spa room while resisting the urge to beat off.
    Isn't it a shame he had to keep the jizz on his face all day long?
     Reply
    raincoaster promoted this comment scallywag was starred scallywag was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    08/12/09

    @scallywag: It's called an out-call.
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of malo-ji malo-ji
    08/11/09

    In reply to The World's Least Exciting Sperm Facial
    Is there a corkage fee if you BYO?
     Reply
    malo-ji was starred malo-ji was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    08/11/09

    In reply to The World's Least Exciting Sperm Facial
    Hands please. How many assumed this was human sperm?
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    08/11/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming:
    "Biosynthesis
    Spermine and spermidine are derivatives of putrescine (1,4-diaminobutane) which is produced from L-ornithine by action of ODC (ornithine decarboxylase). L-ornithine is the product of L-arginine degradation by arginase."
    Hee hee... "derivates of putrescine"
    Sorry.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of bythesidewalk bythesidewalk
    08/11/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: What does this mean?
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming promoted this comment bythesidewalk was starred bythesidewalk was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    08/11/09

    @bythesidewalk:
    That they have created "essence of sperm" in the lab and they are selling it to people for $200 bucks a pop. This means you can fool almost all of the people all of the time.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of bythesidewalk bythesidewalk
    08/11/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Is this like when you drink some juice and then the bottle says it "contains no real fruit juice?" I call rip-off. Plus, if it is like fruit drinks, the real thing would be much better for you.
     Reply
    bythesidewalk was starred bythesidewalk was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    08/12/09

    @bythesidewalk:
    You're trying to turn me into some kind of expert on sperm facials, aren't you. When I was a kid I read that women should put slices of cucumber over their eyes as a part of their facial. I recommended this to my grandmother. Her eyes swelled up and she couldn't open them for an hour.
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    08/12/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Pesticides. Seriously.
    But when it comes to "essence of sperm" I suppose you could get away with advertising this as something like the "Bakkake" facial? "Buttkake"? Something?
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    08/12/09

    @raincoaster:
    The Glazed Facial? The Glacial?
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of bythesidewalk bythesidewalk
    08/12/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Well, I used to consider myself an expert on sperm facials, but I never had it done this way. So fancy.
     Reply
    bythesidewalk was starred bythesidewalk was unstarred
    Image of Martiniman Martiniman
    08/11/09

    In reply to The World's Least Exciting Sperm Facial
    Let's not make any premature speculations folks, the salon caters to some real up and cummers.
     Reply
    Aethyr promoted this comment Martiniman was starred Martiniman was unstarred
    Image of WackoJacko WackoJacko
    08/11/09

    In reply to The World's Least Exciting Sperm Facial
    People give Liz Phair shit for this song (the album it came from, all of her life choices, etc.), but it's pretty apt now, no?
     Reply
    WackoJacko was starred WackoJacko was unstarred
    Image of Aethyr Aethyr
    08/12/09

    @WackoJacko: Wow, I've never heard this, but I adore it.
     Reply
    Aethyr was starred Aethyr was unstarred
    Image of lobstr lobstr
    08/11/09

    In reply to The World's Least Exciting Sperm Facial
    shouldn't this have been tagged under "Journaljismjismjism"?
    k, sorry :[]
     Reply
    lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred
    Image of CaligulaSanchez CaligulaSanchez
    08/11/09

    In reply to The World's Least Exciting Sperm Facial
    I feel for the technician. It's really annoying when you're trying to give someone a facial and they won't stop talking.
     Reply
    bytememehard promoted this comment CaligulaSanchez was starred CaligulaSanchez was unstarred
    Image of bytememehard bytememehard
    08/11/09

    @Randy Slamberg: Do you mean that ironically -- or are you an actual esthetician?
     Reply
    bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred
    Image of Colonel Mustard Colonel Mustard
    08/11/09

    @Randy Slamberg: I feel the same way at the White Party every year.
    ZING!
     Reply
    Colonel Mustard was starred Colonel Mustard was unstarred
    Image of CaligulaSanchez CaligulaSanchez
    08/11/09

    @bytememehard: I'm just a whore
     Reply
    CaligulaSanchez was starred CaligulaSanchez was unstarred
    Image of homoviper homoviper
    08/11/09

    In reply to The World's Least Exciting Sperm Facial
    Yeah he's done some craaaaaaazy things in his journalism career. Watching the Chippendales dancers?? That's such a craaaaaaaaazy thing (for an insecure straight man who think's he's funny and daring) to do!!! Craaaaaaazy. Tool.
     Reply
    homoviper was starred homoviper was unstarred
    Image of bytememehard bytememehard
    08/11/09

    @homoviper: He reminds me of Berger from SaTC.
     Reply
    bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred
    Image of DeltaGuy DeltaGuy
    08/11/09

    @homoviper: I would have rather watched him be sodomized by the dildo. Link anyone?
    I'd also like to state that his "crazy things" simply seems like a fun night for me.
     Reply
    Edited by DeltaGuy at 08/11/09 3:35 PM DeltaGuy was starred DeltaGuy was unstarred
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