The sudden new craze called "cat bearding" has made us realize that it's always futile to claim the Internet has hit a new low, because as soon as you make such a pronouncement, something like "cat bearding" comes along to remind you the Internet will always be more pointless and absurd and .... oh but that one cat is…

Of all of capitalism's high holidays, Valentine's Day is definitely the worst, with its corporate-sponsored emphasis on love, couples, snuggling, and other disgusting things. The only thing worse? The people who empower it with emphatic hatred.