thingsihate - Gawker

posts about #thingsihate more →
Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
On Stylista, The Fat Girl Is 'The Elephant In The Room'
Why I Already Irrationally Hate Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

bjonston
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
I swiped this from someone who posted it over the weekend, but it gives you a very clear and succinct picture of the Miami experience. Enjoy!

Reply

bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred

PandoraSpocks
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
And it's about time.
Reply

PandoraSpocks was starred PandoraSpocks was unstarred

flossy
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
Nobody's allowed to admit that they have fun at Miami Basel. Usually it's all, "Oh god, what a decadent waste of time, you can't see the art for all the partying parvenues," this year, like everything else, it's Just Not The Same Because Of The Economy.

Of course, try floating the idea that if you don't like it then maybe you shouldn't go. Now that's insanity.
Reply

flossy was starred flossy was unstarred

ambitious
12/01/08

@flossy: To be fair, many of us have to go for work. I'd love to skip everything but the free drinks. I really hate fancy malls.
Reply

ambitious was starred ambitious was unstarred

nonce
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
Art fairs are so the suckers can have a party; most buying and selling still goes on in back rooms of galleries.

And this is good news for young artists who wouldn't get in Art Basel anyway because collectors still want to collect, they just are going to look for people whose work might get big. Same thing happenend in the early '90s.

(No joke, here, just being servicey. I sold $3,000 in Difficult Art this year and I don't even have a gallery.)
Reply

nonce was starred nonce was unstarred

Dickens_Ghost
12/01/08

@nonce: Okay, I'll bite. What is "difficult art" (too lazy to google)?
Reply

Dickens_Ghost was starred Dickens_Ghost was unstarred

bjonston
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
For those of you who won't be able to make it down to my lovely neck of the woods for this year's Art Basel, allow me me to summarize what you'll be missing:

Traffic, assholes, douchebags and old farts (native and imported). Loads of stupidity, plenty of attitude and nowhere to park. Also, bad service and mean people everywhere.
Reply

bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred

bytememehard
12/01/08

@bjonston: I thought it was in Miami, not NYC.
Reply

bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred

bjonston
12/01/08

@bytememehard: Dude, Miami these days makes NYC look like, I don't know, Burlington Vermont or Dubuque Iowa, in the asshole/bad attitude department. I shit you not. New York City if where I go when I need a break from all the douchebags and ignorant asswipes that populate the Sunshine State.
Reply

bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred

Vela
12/01/08

@bjonston: Ha, thanks for posting that. I was leaning towards going until realizing how much I hate even driving through Miami.

God, I can't wait to get out of this state.
Reply

Vela was starred Vela was unstarred

bjonston
12/01/08

@Vela: Yeah. I've been living down here going on six years and the closest I've ever gotten to going to an Art Basel event is spending 45 minutes driving through a two blocks long cluster-fuck of traffic in the Design District on my way home from work.

Let me know when you figure out how to get out of here, 'cause I'll join you.
Reply

bjonston was starred bjonston was unstarred

DennyCrane
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
If I don't see dogs playing poker, I don't care.
Reply

DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred

Mrs Smith
12/01/08

@DennyCrane: Apparently, those are still selling pretty well...

[hauspa.squarespace.com]
Reply

Mrs Smith was starred Mrs Smith was unstarred

DennyCrane
12/01/08

@Mrs Smith: Some works are simply timeless.
Reply

DennyCrane was starred DennyCrane was unstarred

CodePink
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
Also, I like the pictures in the above post. Very ARTISTIC. Wink wink art post wink!
Reply

CodePink was starred CodePink was unstarred

Cheap Shot
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
Wait, I thought that art could save the world?
Reply

Cheap Shot was starred Cheap Shot was unstarred

Smitros
12/01/08

@Cheap Shot:
I thought it was beauty that could save the world.

Probably not too much of that on display there.
Reply

Smitros was starred Smitros was unstarred

CodePink
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
If I were given a croissant, an egg, and a strip of bacon without utensils, I really don't know why I'd do! Except probably eat the food.
Reply

CodePink was starred CodePink was unstarred

Nice Beaver
12/01/08

@CodePink: If I were given a croissant, an egg, and a strip of bacon without utensils, I'd pull into the parking spot closest to the drive-thru window to make sure the BK employees didn't forget my French Toast Sticks.
Reply

Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred

CodePink
12/01/08

@Nard: And then I would smear poop on a GO CHILDREN SLOW street sign. Obviously.
Reply

CodePink was starred CodePink was unstarred

Nice Beaver
12/01/08

@CodePink: And sell it for millions, as it will immediately become one of the great icons of our era and a poo-perfect überfecalist totem!
Reply

Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred

CodePink
12/01/08

@Nard: and then I would drown myself in honey and have my lover write SHE STINGS across my cold, dead forehead.
Reply

CodePink was starred CodePink was unstarred

Nice Beaver
12/01/08

@CodePink: Is there no end to what you will do for your art?
Reply

Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred

shortburstwritingtalent
12/01/08

@CodePink: And eat your way through the better part of the shark before chugging the formaldehyde, no doubt.
Reply

CodePink
12/01/08

@Nard: and then my lover would bury me in a ton of rose petals which weighs just as much as a ton of bricks but is more beautiful and lovely like my love is more beautiful than my hate but is as powerful.
Reply

CodePink was starred CodePink was unstarred

Nice Beaver
12/01/08

@CodePink: And then, six months later, your lover and I will unearth you and encrust you in a shell of papier-mâché made from Bazooka Joe bubble gum wrappers and my saliva and we'll pose you like Willem Dafoe from his death scene in Platoon reaching to heaven and I will want to call it/you "Pink Death Prayer" and your lover will want to call it "Death Prayer Pink" so we will duel with pistols at dawn and I will win, but be rendered brain dead, so it/you will be known for eternity as "Untitled."
Reply

Nice Beaver was starred Nice Beaver was unstarred

CodePink
12/01/08

@Nard: Mhmmmm. :)
Reply

CodePink was starred CodePink was unstarred

CodePink
12/02/08

@shortburstwritingtalent: You're good at this game, too! P.S. You really can't hurt my feelings. I sort of already know that I'm fat. And also who you are. So tada!
Reply

CodePink was starred CodePink was unstarred

miss_msry
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
That was then: New Beginnings.
This is now: Fresh Hell.
Reply

miss_msry was starred miss_msry was unstarred

miss_msry
12/01/08

In reply to Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark
That was then: The Jazz Age.
This is now: The Ass Age.

That was then: The Lost Generation.
This is now: The Faust Generation.

That was then: Greed is Good.
This is now: Feed is Good.
Reply

miss_msry was starred miss_msry was unstarred

Pope John Peeps II
11/20/08

In reply to On Stylista, The Fat Girl Is 'The Elephant In The Room'
the Brayton Road Times newspaper that my sister and I used to make on the home computer

haha. I used to do this too sometimes:

HEADLINE: BREAKING! MEATLOAF IS DRY, AND DAD IS FARTY TODAY.
Reply

Pope John Peeps II was starred

ArtfulSlinger
11/20/08

In reply to On Stylista, The Fat Girl Is 'The Elephant In The Room'
Ugh, I watched this shit shack for the first time last night and was horrified by everyone. But then I remembered you need to have an IQ of 65 and an ability to self-loathe while passively attacking anyone within a 12 foot radius of you to be in fashion.

I would have appreciated it more if when they canned Danielle, they just told her it was because she was fat.
Reply

ArtfulSlinger was starred ArtfulSlinger was unstarred

HK_Guy
11/20/08

In reply to On Stylista, The Fat Girl Is 'The Elephant In The Room'
If you hate it so much, why do you watch it? And please, don't give me the "it's so bad it's fun" routine. Anything bad is just ... bad. There aren't enough hours in the day to waste time on crap.
Reply

HK_Guy was starred HK_Guy was unstarred

Richard Lawson
11/20/08

@HK_Guy: Because it's fun to write about!
Reply

Richard Lawson was starred Richard Lawson was unstarred

Emily Brilliant
11/20/08

In reply to On Stylista, The Fat Girl Is 'The Elephant In The Room'
I really wanted to like Danielle and I was rooting for her, but her incessant mouth breathing was driving me nuts so I wish her the best and pray she learns to close her mouth.

Katie... looking in the ceiling mirror to check her lipgloss was pure gold. She's wretched, yes, but she's also semi-entertaining.

Greasy Meghan... I still haven't figured out the mystery of her "dewiness". Once again her eyeliner was creeping down her face as her saturated hair hung limply over her shoulder. I'll bet her clothes smell.

Does it bother anyone else that Anne Slowey can't walk in heels?
Reply

Emily Brilliant was starred Emily Brilliant was unstarred

Richard Lawson
11/20/08

@Emily Brilliant: Hah, I think I've mentioned the "can't walk in heels" thing in every recap. It's ridiculous.
Reply

Richard Lawson was starred Richard Lawson was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#thingsihate

Gawker

SUBSCRIBE TO Gawker

Pretentious Art Scene About To Jump The Formaldehyde Shark

On Stylista, The Fat Girl Is 'The Elephant In The Room'

Why I Already Irrationally Hate Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment