thingsthatmakeyouuncomfortableandyoucantreallysaywhy

posts about #thingsthatmakeyouuncomfortableandyoucantreallysaywhy more →
Dead Man Sells Adhesives

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

VoxPopuli
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
Not to speak ill of the dead, but if he really wanted to impress me, he should have waxed his beard off using just MIGHTY TAPE!!, which is also known as duct tape. Or just tape, for short.

But I see that one of his last acts was to save a diver in distress. Thumbs up, BILLY MAYS HERE!!, thumbs up.
Reply

Edited by VoxPopuli at 07/10/09 11:10 AM VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred

Nic Fit
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
I THINK ANY ONLINE REFERENCES TO BILLY MAYS SHOULD BE ALL CAPS!!!
Reply

Nic Fit was starred Nic Fit was unstarred

Awesome X
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
My favorite is when he dances with Bing Crosby. CGI, FTW.
Reply

Awesome X was starred Awesome X was unstarred

The Real JR
07/10/09

@Awesome X: A+ I'm totally looking forward to when "Billy Mays: Duets" drops. The mashup with him and Lady Gaga is fie-yah.
Reply

The Real JR was starred The Real JR was unstarred

VoxPopuli
07/10/09

@The Real JR: Yeah, his YouTube mashups with the Sham Wow guy aren't quite as good.
Reply

VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred

The Real JR
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
I'm thoroughly convinced that if Billy Mays were able to infomercial-shill the Health Care Bill it would totally sell... and we could get doobies in vending machines next to the Slurpee dispenser at your local 7-11. ...but God needed him more.
Reply

Edited by The Real JR at 07/10/09 10:32 AM The Real JR was starred The Real JR was unstarred

lobstr
07/10/09

@The Real JR: God needed him to sell the athiests on the ridiculousness of Leviticus... and he could do it!
Reply

lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred

Aaron Altman
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
Billy Mays wouldn't roll over in his grave... IF HIS CASKET WAS LINED WITH MIGHTY PUTTY!
Reply

Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred

hilikusopus
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
Billy's left us, and he won't come back, no matter how many Tupac-esque posthumous informercials they churn out (including the Posthumous Informercial Churner-Outer - just four easy instalments of $19.95!). So, today I will perform a special somber dance on my Hawaii Chair, in memorium, a symbol of the topsy turvey world that somehow - just somehow - Billy guided us through with unassailable balance and grace.
Reply

Edited by hilikusopus at 07/10/09 10:36 AM hilikusopus was starred hilikusopus was unstarred

lobstr
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
Damn.. Billy Mays could have gone out with a bang, but that commercial is seriously beneath his usual style. Sure it's rife with double-thumbs-ups and double-outstretched-hand-gestures..., but the dramatic music and extra-long SCUBA scene indicates to me that they just went with the minimal number of takes they had on film. Billy had some unfinished business! Nonetheless, some points to ponder, if I may:

1. "Mighty tape has a sticky adhesive.." Doth mine ears deceive me?! Did he say this, how you say, tape, come with a sticky adhesive?! 3M eat your hearts out, bitches!

2. If my microwave power cable had a mouse-ate-through-it-sized chunk missing, I probably would fear leaving the house if all those volts were running through tape. Remember what Jason Bateman's lamp did to the Hogan Family house???

3. Even underwater, Billy Mays stays true to the pitch and wears the Oxi-clean-esque blue button-down shirt! Bonus points for loyalty.
Reply

Edited by lobstr at 07/10/09 10:27 AM lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred

Private Hangnail
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
Billy Mays has been preserved, stuffed and fitted with animatronic prostheses. He stands at the ready to shill those products that you know you don't really need but absolutely must have. Forthcoming examples include: Billy Mays Brand Death Masks, Blood Red Insanity Bunkers, Blood Red Insanity Bunkers for Pets, Granny Knit 'n' Nit Crochet and Nit Removal Kits and Flavor Paper TASTES LIKE TREES!!!
Reply

Edited by Private Hangnail at 07/10/09 10:24 AM Private Hangnail was starred Private Hangnail was unstarred

Mount_Prion
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
He'd roll over in his grave if he wasn't securely lashed down with strips of incredible, all-new and improved Mighty Tape.
Reply

Mount_Prion was starred Mount_Prion was unstarred

TheHonJudgeSmails
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
"I love this super-adhesive Mighty Tape to death! It absolutely KILLS me!"
Reply

TheHonJudgeSmails was starred

MisterSun
07/10/09

In reply to Dead Man Sells Adhesives
Oh Billy Mays, where's the Mighty Tape for my broken heart since you left us all?
Reply

MisterSun was starred MisterSun was unstarred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#thingsthatmakeyouuncomfortableandyoucantreallysaywhy

Gawker

SUBSCRIBE TO Gawker

Dead Man Sells Adhesives

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment