There are so many times (One occurred today) that I hear Papa Kade's words to me, "You have chosen a hard and lonely path to walk", where I realize that despite all the fame, the celeb status, the vagina that's thrown in my face like Water Ice, and the awards and money that I will soon have, that this is a road that Arthur Kade walks alone, but today is one of those days where I know that god tests me to be the biggest and most famous actor and writer in the world, and communicates and says, "Brand, make the hard choices now, so that you can make easy ones later on when you have touched Little Oscar".

Btw he's gonna be at "Art Basil," so, ladies?
[Pic via]

A girl who I had almost fucked in a bathroom one night at another club (I gave her massive finger penetration) a couple months ago came up to me in the Mogul Room and said, "Someone told me you're getting a TV show.", and I responded, "I am also authoring an award winning book", but I remember she didn't smell so fresh downstairs when we hooked up and looked like she put on a solid 15, so I turned right back around. A girl must always be fresh downstairs because that is one of my biggest pet peeves and if I do an "oil check" and it's not super fresh, I'll ask her to leave.

with The Drought having hit 8 months, and having gone 8 for 8 the last 3 weeks in hooking up with girls and not having penal insertion, it is really testing my patience that I may have to bend over and maybe compromise my values to do this "Dinner thing".

And then he does this freestyle as "The Kween." That bad.

Saw Arthur Kade goose-stepping his way through the 34th Street 123 station at 5:45 PM. He has the strangest walk; he puffs out his chest and thrusts his hips out. The overall effect is that of someone with something down the back of their pants. He was eating something doughy and chewing with his mouth open.

Thanks, alert reader C! Arthur was visiting our humble burg for his "Biggest Audition Yet," which makes him a little weepy:

I spoke to my dad who was getting a colonoscopy (It must suck to have some tube thrown in your ass) today, and told him, "Do you realize that your son is famous?", and he joked back, "I'm happy that you keep telling me", and it was one of those special father-son moments that makes me realize that the Kade bond between us is what has allowed me more than anything to become a budding superstar, and knowing that my dad watches "The Journey" and probably thinks, "My son is a once in a lifetime talent", is what keeps me going through the tough times because in the end I want to take care of my parents and buy them houses in Palm Beach to retire at.

Arthur Kade is the internet's best writer since Emily Brill.
[Watch the above video at once.]

My trainer and I were walking in the protein aisle of the store today and noticed a VERY fat mother with an even fatter child and I said to him, ‘Please explain to me how that happens? I want to take the kid, and throw him into a boot camp in Florida, and make him work it off in a week by making him run, work-out, and starve him", and he responded, "Maybe it's just baby fat and he will get thinner over time", and I got angry and said, "Judging by the mother, I would say, ""Don't Bet on it, so I am going to say something to her"" and he stopped me because I was running late. I became so enraged because I am still not sure if I want to have children, but think it would be a good idea to reproduce and create a Kade Style legacy (I want to have a child who replaces me like Charlie Sheen did for Martin) because I would be the best parent and give my child everything I didn't have (I would want my child to have my genetics with looks, depth, and charm, but the mother's warmth and sensuality, and I have even considered auditioning women that I think have a cool look so that I could create a "Mixed/Mulatto" kid, so that he can look super unique and carry on my acting tradition. I think because I am Italian/Greek Looking ,it would be great to mate me with a Black or Asian girl and see what happens), and if I had one I would make sure it works out twice a day, goes to the best schools, dates the hottest girls/boys, and most of all lives it's dream like it's father. I wanted to take the mother and shake her and say, "Look at your fat kid!!!!, He's disgusting like you!!!", and then push her cart to the Dieting section and buy her the food I want her to buy him to eat.

And then he posted a photo of the lady and child in question! I'm really starting to respect this guy's work.

According to our tipster:

I just heard on the radio here in Philly that Arthur Kade and another Philly born celebrity Richie Rosati just signed on to do a new Philly reality tv show called "I'm a Philebrity, Get Me Out Of Here".

It's supposed to also star Philly famous band G-Love and Special Sauce and another famed Philadelphian but not sure who?

We can find nothing in the news about this, and it could well be a total farce, since not even A to the K himself has blogged about it yet. He's staying focused:

I ran into my new boy, Mickey Rourke (I am compared to him a lot because we both don't really care what people think, and are considered sex symbols early in our careers, but I have to make sure I control myself because he is am animal), who I said hello to and chilled with for a hot minute, and I think he appreciated the attention that a rising superstar like Arthur Kade gave him, showing him that the new generation of rising actors does remember it's past. People recognized me all through the club, watched every move I made, and I told the girl at one point, "I am very well known in NYC and LA", and I wonder when I will end up in as Page 6 fodder...

The new Arthur Kade puts his fans and vision first, and he will never let vagina stand in his way again.

Mickey, you have something on your lip, bro. Anyhow, who knows if AK even has time for reality TV? His journey is one of altruism: "I want to eventually work with small African children, Afghan refugees, and even Central American refugees to show the world that Team Kade can give back (I will bring t-shirts, food, and other Brand memorabilia to help clothe and feed them)."

UPDATE: Philebrity thinks the rumor is just a PR stunt for...somebody. We're still waiting to hear from you, Philadelphians.

Nevermind the fact that it was Rosa Parks' refusal to sit in the back of the bus that made her an American civil rights icon, such historical accuracy only diverts our attention from our hero's latest efforts to become the Jesus Christ of film acting or whatever, so just pay attention, okay?!

So today, I decided to change some habits and get back to basics, and took the $15 "Bolt Bus" to NYC (Instead of the ultra luxurious Acela I usually travel in), and even got a small room at The Pod Hotel, which is an upscale version of a Hostel in Midtown NYC with Bunk-Beds and a shared bathroom so I could taste struggle and poorness again and come down to Earth. I even rode in the back of the bus to feel the symbolism of "The Journey", because I see myself as a modern day Rosa Parks making a stand for the rights of the "Modern Actor" (An actor who does it with out worrying about what people think), and stared out the window thinking about how many people are living through me, and cheering for Arthur Kade to be the greatest actor in the world.

I am so excited to be on a premiere movie set for the first time in a month, and to feel the rush of the PA's and actors looking at me, and participating with me in making something special. When I worked on AirBender, we became a family, and I miss the feeling of connecting and feeling admiration from people who understand my plight, and I can't wait to be doing what I love again, not just focusing on being famous. I also have to plan my next Kade Angeles Trip this week, because I am getting tons of audition requests there, so I am looking into getting second place there shortly so I can be Bi-coastal. I am also going to try and run back to Philly to make my commercial class tomorrow night after a 7AM Call time for the movie.

Here's Arthur on his cab ride down the West Side highway talking about his big role in Step Up, though we can't seem to find a title listing for a project going by that name currently in any stage of production anywhere in the world.

If you haven't yet had the pleasure of seeing Arthur Kade act, check out his rendition of Vincent Vega from Pulp Fiction.

Arthur Kade, we are convinced now more than ever that you are a total fraud, which we guess makes you a genius, and for that reason we stand in awe of you now, always and forever.

Back of the Bus [Arthur Kade]

All of my friends have Crackberrys, and I have always refused to get one because I feel like it is to "Ordinary" and "General Population", in the representation of my brand, and I don't want to give the whole world another avenue to reach me, because everyone wants a piece, and now that they are seeing "The Journey" fully cross over to mainstream America, I am getting bombarded with phone calls from fans and journalists (Gawker posted my number months ago, and everyone around the world wants an interview about "The Journey") and emails, so having a BBM Pin would be death. Whatever technology Arthur Kade carries should be something only A Listers carry, or else I am tarnishing myself.

We're pretty sure all those calls were from the Chinese delivery guy, but no matter. In this never-before-seen video clip, Arthur shows off the exclusive, $8,000 phone that (listen carefully!) he would consider getting, if he could. It matches his shoulder line perfectly.

June 21: Arthur Kade is the New Oprah.

I have always had this responsibility because of my looks, status, and confidence, but now when I meet a girl, the first thing out of their mouth is "You're the guy with the website", You're too big for little old me", and "I'm not cool or good looking enough to hang with you"...

While out last night in AC, a friend asked me, "What's it like to be able to walk into a place, and be the most influential opinion?", and I responded "It's amazing, but everyone kisses your ass because you can make or break a place by that opinion", and I realized at that moment that I have become like Perez Hilton or Oprah, because people realize the incredible lifestyle I live, and will follow any example I do around the world

June 24: Arthur Kade addresses the media.

I talked with the writer about my enormous story in the Mag, the influence I made in increasing their sales and web hits, and could tell he was fascinated with how diverse I was, and the opinions I had. When he saw my face at first, He asked "Arthur Kade?" and we shook hands and I sat down next to him. He called me "Hot" right now, and said that he changed his Facebook status one time to say "What would the Philly Media do without Arthur Kade?", referring to the effect I am having on media around the world, and how big a story I am...
[It] was funny when he called me an "Anti-Hero", to which I said, ‘I'm a hero for the working man".

June 24: Arthur Kade caused Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey to break up because Vanessa totally wants to get with Arthur Kade but now he's not sure if he wants her cause she might not be a big enough star for him. No need to excerpt this one.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.June 25: Arthur Kade Dominates everywhere he goes.

People sit and wonder what I am doing next (To the point of obsession and stalkers, I may need a bodyguard soon), and are living their lives vicariously through me, and I never disappoint to show them the rock star life I live...

My influence in New York is huge, and the site that is constantly obsessed with my life is Downbythehipster.com (Considered the most influential and talked about nightlife site in NYC with one of my friends calling it "The Bible of New York")...

After the party, I am heading to the airport and jumping on a plane to LA to dominate the left coast for 5 days.

Arthur, you have to tone it down a little, yo. It's no fun if it's not believable. Think of how you like all your hot women to fake orgasms. You want them to really display some subtlety, right? You're trying too hard.

When I want to "Wow" people, then I put my mind to prepping for something, and then watch out. I was on a mission this week to give an amazing complete rendition of the "When Harry Met Sally" dialogue that I spent an astounding 12 hours practicing, and it showed. I knew the lines backwards and forwards, and when I gave it during class, I knew that it was almost movie quality.

Really? Are we really to believe this guy exists in the wild. We want to. We want to so.

I get emails everyday about how inspiring "The Journey" is from all over the world, and how amazing I look and act.

Sometimes I feel like people only see how fabulous my life is, and forget that I deal with many of the same problems they do. I said to one of my good friends last week, "If you prick me, do I not bleed?" The difference is that I am willing to put it on a public forum, and show people that even greatness comes with a price.

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.We beg you: do not break our hearts with some "big reveal" of your performance art project, Arthur Kade. Just turn out to be you. The world needs monsters.

[This fucking guy]