Museums Now Thrilled to Welcome Banksy
Hello, it's a big new art show by zillionaire street artist Banksy, an artist who does not suck—his first show since his crazy robot monkey show in NYC last year. Let's look, shall we?
Cocaine Going to Hell Like Everything Else
The recession wants you to stop doing coke, Sniffy Smith. In Europe, at least, coke prices are up, purity is down, and you've spent half your paycheck on a bag that's 91% "pet worming powder."
God Save Us From Japan's Farmer Shock Troops
The economy of Britain—fancy Britain!—is doing so poorly that the government might have to ask for help from the International Monetary Fund. Shit. The smart countries have already regressed to agrarianism.
Shadowy Group of Chavs Out to Destroy Banksy
In 2007, NYC had "The Splasher," an anonymous pseudo-intellectual prick who went around defacing street art. Now England has its own pricks who've decided to deface Banksy murals. Unless it's an elaborate hoax.
In England They Cut Your Pay Nicely
Oh the Brits, with their breezy resolve and false good cheer in the face of obstacles! The FT needs some staff to take a pay cut. I mean, extra summer vacation time!
Tabloids' Innocence Shattered as Maybe 13 Year-Old Is Not Baby Daddy
What is the world coming to, when the bottom-feeding British press can't even trust 13 year-olds to be truthful about whether they were the one who screwed the 15 year-old and made a baby?
England Is Now Safe For Irony
A "landmark" court ruling in the UK means that it is now legal to make jokes there (without having to pay millions in defamation damages). Jokes about Elton John, especially.
BBC Host Says: Death To The Rude
Ah England, home to both world-class soccer hooliganism and a world-class reputation for stuffiness. What we're implying is that any outwardly polite Brit is, at any given moment, seething with murderous rage. Well! It seems that a BBC radio interview this morning took a turn for the wacky when the interviewee's cell…
Drunken Brits Have Their Own Beat Reporter
Ha ha, the New York Times ran a story about how all Brits are drunken louts and when they go on vacations to Greece they fight and vomit and drink and cuss and cross-dress so much that Crete is like, wanting to ban British citizens altogether. Ha, unruly people. But for Times reporter Sarah Lyall, all this drunken…
Virtual Knives Banned; Real Knives, Not Yet
The British knife crime epidemic has gone virtual! Are your kids safe when they go online-safe from knives? No! Not while Facebook was condoning the existence of a "SuperPoke" application that allowed thuggish social networkers to "Shank" their friends. Thank god the UK tabloids have hollered enough to ensure that…
Brits Win Scandal Title With 'Mr. Gay UK' As Flesh-Eating Psycho Killer
Once again, American scandals hang their heads in shame. News comes from jolly old England that a former "Mr. Gay UK" has been arrested for murdering an ad executive from a gay magazine, and then eating some of him [Telegraph via Queerty]. Don't get any untoward ideas, though; they were just "friends." The killer…
