Untalented but successful writer Thomas Friedman has been doing a lot of thinking lately. "I like golf," he thinks to himself, while sitting in his palatial mansion. Then he realizes his next column is due in an hour. "Manservant!" he cries. "Bring me a metaphor! Any metaphor!"
If you, too, specifically seek to read pieces of writing that you know will be depressing if not dangerous, then there's nothing better than a Thomas Friedman column's opening paragraph that runs with either a misleading anecdote or confusing extended metaphor. Today's the latter! Let's take a gander at this sumbitch.…
You may have thought that soothsaying mustachioed one-trick pony Tom Friedman had done his best work of the summer last week, when he achieved near-total conceptual pointlessness. Not so! Yesterday's column was an altogether masterful demonstration of Friedmania.
There is much glee on the ethereal plane high above the Bethesda clouds from which New York Times columnist Tom Friedman writes his column today. We're treated to his latest venture into despondent centrist wet-dream fanfic, in which the Mustache of Understanding imagines a world where political parties don't have…
Today we looked at the strange economy of boob jobs, and many of you had many things to say. Most important of all these comments, though, was hilarious economist Thomas Friedman. Heed his words.
This has been the Decade of the Douchebag. There's no denying it. Though we've retired the term, we're bringing it back to identify the douche who was the douchiest. You get the chance to pick our winner.
Since we opened up that can of stewed pears by praising the guy who threw tomatoes at Sarah Palin, we figured it's a good time to explain why it was cool that he did that. In other words: Food fight!
Flat-earther Times columnist Thomas Friedman thinks we should probably "outsource" our form of government to China, where they have streamlined the whole process by eliminating the bit where idiots "vote."
Noted Globalization advocate, flip-floppy war monger, and all around pompous blowhard know-it-all Thomas Friedman, author of The World Is Flat, has a ballin' ass house. It leaves a big carbon footprint and it's ugly as sin. But why?
Thomas Friedman is proud of our fighting boys. The fact that our all-volunteer military is involved in two open-ended occupations is bad, but the bright side is, we have finally found a class of kids dumb enough to fight forever.
Gisele Bundchen turns 29 today. Rocco Landesman, the Broadway mega-producer and nominee to be the next chairman of the NEA, is turning 62. Two prominent people at the New York Times are celebrating birthdays today: op-ed columnist Thomas Friedman is 56 and advertising columnist Stuart Elliott is 57. Developer Sheldon…
Thomas Friedman, the New York Times columnist, is famous for his joke, that he had, once. But did you know that he has told many jokes, in the past?
Noted sleep-deprived grad student/part-time thespian James Franco was scheduled to deliver the commencement address at UCLA next Friday (What, was Skeet Ulrich not available?), but he backed out today at the last minute, and now the Bruin Nation is weeping!
Globe-flattening mustache habitrail Thomas Friedman, who's never met a hype-spouting CEO he wasn't incredibly impressed by, is no friend of the working man, this we know. But he's currently ruining labor talks at the Boston Globe, just by being his annoying self.
Is mustachioed hybrid-hawker Thomas Friedman licking dog food remnants from discarded cans yet? Sadly no, but he must be getting close! First his rich wife's family business went bankrupt. Now he's lost $75K. Just yesterday!
New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman didn't have a column in yesterday's paper. Was it because the company that his wife's fortune is invested in went bankrupt last week, and he's too sad to type?
Say what you will about Times columnist Thomas Friedman*, but he at least reports his lousy columns, usually. Not today!
Today in the New York Times opinion section: Maureen Dowd reads the Post and pretends to be outraged at perk-addicted rich people, Thomas Friedman just makes up some nonsense.
Oh, good, Forbes has listed all the important liberals, in order of importance. God bless this new Obama era of paying attention to Times columnists again!
In 2005, Matt Taibbi wrote a takedown of NYT mouthbreather Tom Friedman's unique idiocy that remains the greatest thing ever written about the mustachioed private-jet-frequent-flyer. Now Taibbi has a new piece; top ten anti-'stache material.
