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The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
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HiredGoons
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
Jeans cut off at the knees - end of discussion.
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Spirit Fingers
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
Dear Lord.

Men, go to the Gap, Old Navy, American Eagle or some other mall chain place and get a pair of jammers board shorts, chinos, or whatever they're called now, and stay far, far, away from what designers deem fashionable with regard to men's shorts. In about 100 years they've never been complicated. If you're contemplating this or anything sold at American Apparel (another place where ball squeezing tightie shorties are sold) then I implore you spend more time in the mirror to assess if you have the kind of hairless, bulgeless, inverted sack-hang to support this particular fashion choice.
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valet_of_the_dolls
05/21/09

@Spirit Fingers: Applause.
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Fry_Bread_Power
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
How does a pair of mens shorts fall into the $600 - $1200 range? Do they wash themselves along with your other washables AND take your suits to the cleaner? And can people tell when you're wearing $1000 shorts versus the $600 versus the $50?
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SaraRueful
05/21/09

@Fry_Bread_Power: The same way a piece of cardboard dipped in plastic with a couple of strips of leather cost $600 (I'm looking at you, Manolo and Jimmy and Christian).

I wish I were a batrillionaire just so I could DELIBERATELY not pay stupid sums of money for stuff that could not possibly, ever, be worth it.

(P.S. --The Times Styles sections repeatedly rejected my suggestion that they rename themselves "More Money Than Sense." No one ever listens to me.)
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valet_of_the_dolls
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
Now I feel even more justified in spending most of my summer at a nude beach. $775 will get you a hell of a lot of weed and beer.
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BxgrlJeri
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
What exactly are $700 shorts made out of? Do I even want to know?
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Mama Penguino
05/21/09

@BxgrlJeri: Sugar, spice, and everything nice. Hence, the confusion.
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depardoo
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
In the future, everyone will be forced to dress like Lady Gaga.
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Smitros
05/21/09

@depardoo:

To paraphrase Leonard Cohen (badly), you've seen the future, 'pardoo. It is silly.
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HiredGoons
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
Clearly, those things are designed for individuals with no balls (literally, and euphemistically).
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CaptainFantastic
05/21/09

@HiredGoons: Yes. Perfect for the man without a penis or testicles.
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resipsaloquacious
05/21/09

@CaptainFantastic:

Ken.
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HiredGoons
05/21/09

@resipsaloquacious: Sean Hannity.
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fuzzywhat
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
Nice, non-baggy shorts for men are very hard to find under 200 for some reason, I ended up finding some decent ones at a rag & bone sample sale last summer for 40 bucks. Truly, I wanted a pair of Band of Outsiders at Barneys for 400 but couldn't justify it. There must be something about making nicely fitted shorts that is too costly to manufacture for the big retail chains. Or they think the straights and non-metros would be too hesitant to buy them.

Though, I think much-maligned Topman has some cute ones for under 100 bucks.
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Mama Penguino
05/21/09

@fuzzywhat: If a man is over age 10, he shouldn't be wearing "nice, non-baggy shorts." Seriously. That kind of shit will get you killed out on the farm.
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fuzzywhat
05/21/09

@Mama Penguino: Hate to break it to you, but the 90s are over, and the decade past it is almost done, too. Clothes fit now, even shorts.
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City_Dater
05/21/09

@fuzzywhat:

You could work for UPS or the USPS...they get issued a nifty little pair every summer.

Men in shorts who aren't on the beach or the deck of a boat are just kidding themselves.
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Mama Penguino
05/21/09

@fuzzywhat: The 90s? What's that got to do with it? Short pants are for boys, not men. Go ahead and rip me for it, but I will not change my (irrelevant) stance.
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Mama Penguino
05/21/09

@City_Dater: FedEx, too.
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hesperid
05/21/09

@Mama Penguino: No. I refuse this because oversized baggy shorts make men look like toddlers. Really, if you squint when you see a large adult male in "shorts" that come down mid-calf and made from enough material to outfit a king sized matress, along with the matching enormous t-shirt, you will think you're seeing a giant 3 year old. It's rather funny because these men are usually trying to look super manly...

I say give me the 70's & 80's Burt Reynolds and Jaws movie franchise style shorts on men!
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valet_of_the_dolls
05/21/09

@hesperid: But see, you're going to the opposite extreme. I think what Mama P is trying to say, albeit more delicately, is that ball-huggers don't look good on anyone.
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mslewis
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
I don't remember if I've mentioned this before but . . . I have not been inside a department store or boutique of any kind since 2002!!! I do ALL my clothes shopping on the Internet or shopping channels. I refuse to be sneared at by a snobby-ass little 20 year old with ugly hair and too much makeup, who thinks she is a fashion expert and thus can give me advice.

I recently bought my laptop from QVC ("only four easy payments") because I had gone into some place I can't remember and they treated me like I was the Town Idiot!! I am now in the process of looking for a new flat-screen TV and a new mattress, all on the Internet!!! Now I don't have to go to ANY store in America!! Can't tell you how thrilled I am!!

About those short in the pic . . . they look like men's tennis shorts from around 1977. They looked good on players with great butts but not so much on the fat asses!!! Why are these $1,500? I don't get it.
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Mama Penguino
05/21/09

@mslewis: And you might want to talk to dad about calling him a fat-ass. He's in your bedroom closet, crying.
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leonleonleon
05/21/09

@mslewis: !!! mslewis you are a GENIUS!!!

!!!

(!!!)
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Mama Penguino
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
Pictures like this just make me more into men who wear torn flannel shirts, Wrangler jeans, and have hairy arms. You know, the Brawny paper towel guy. Jesus, men, don't listen to this shit!
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HiredGoons
05/21/09

@Mama Penguino: You know, a lot of those guys are gay, Mama.
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valet_of_the_dolls
05/21/09

@HiredGoons: And thank (your deity of choice) for that!
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Mama Penguino
05/21/09

@HiredGoons: I don't care. I'm still more into them.
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Cheap Shot
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
I'm wearing skorts to the Gawker party tonight as well as a shweater.
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HiredGoons
05/21/09

@Cheap Shot: I'd be joining you if someone would give me a gddm star already.
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valet_of_the_dolls
05/21/09

@Cheap Shot: Wear the skorts as a cape, a la Edie Beale, please.
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leonleonleon
05/21/09

@Cheap Shot: $5 to anyone showing up in a Slanket or a Snuggie
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bytememehard
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
"they look as if they might be from the suburbs" is how I identify tourists in midtown.
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HiredGoons
05/21/09

@bytememehard: you can pretty much tell by everyone's shoes who is an American Tourist, who is a European Tourist, and who is a New Yorker.
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bytememehard
05/21/09

@HiredGoons: Unless they're wearing Nikes.
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hypocriteoath
05/21/09

@bytememehard: nope. even then. new yorkers - "cool" nikes. tourists - Nikes you buy at Sports Authority [think running shoes]. people from europe - nikes that look like soccer shoes.
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i'm a bottle
05/21/09

@bytememehard: What about plain Adidas Sambas? That's pretty much a toss-up, isn't it?
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i'm a bottle
05/21/09

@hypocriteoath: I meant that last comment for hypocriteoath.
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resipsaloquacious
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
Bookish, if you're out there somewhere... I hope you like skorts.
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BookishLookish
05/21/09

@resipsaloquacious: These would look very fetching on you, resipsa. Please to wear them to the shindig tonight.
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Disco-Johnson
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
For $650 I could pretty much get a whole season wardrobe.
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MattGaymon
05/21/09

@Disco-Johnson: Winter even!
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DorothyMantooth
05/21/09

@MattGaymon: I could get a pretty kickass pair of shoes.

But not for winter, I'm afraid.
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LeGagneur
05/21/09

In reply to The $1,500 Seersucker Man-Skort Lives
Androgyny - never out of style!
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Smitros
05/21/09

@LeGagneur:

And never in.

I go back to the Bloom County panel in which Opus said, "Androgyny makes me nervous."
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