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Candy Kids Kill
Toothless Hero Mayor Now Besties With Obama
Critic-Assaulter Arrested, Albany Safe For Snootery Once Again
Sean Avery Sent Packing For Wack Macking

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Btwbfdimho
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
What about Britney Spears, who recently spent $3,000 in candy? Shopping like that, she'll end up like one of those Analbombers.
[defamer.gawker.com]
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shag_carpet_bomb
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
I have a parent friend whose children eat a lot of candy and I can see jail time in their future. It may have more to do with the fact that the parent doesn't see the correlation between the amount of sugar her kids eat, and their behavior, and not the actual quantities of sugar she's allowing them to consume. Or maybe both. But she also doesn't seem to get the connections between the sugar and the cavities.
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MrInBetween
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
Poor baby. Eat enough of those things and your leg becomes a rainbow swirl lollipop.
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Edited by MrInBetween at 10/01/09 1:26 PM MrInBetween was starred MrInBetween was unstarred

Perhaps Not
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
C. Montgomery Burns: Humanitarian.
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God
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
Put that candy down, hungry baby. Candy is for closers only. You can't close the leads you're given, you can't close shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks, pal, and beat it, 'cause you are going out!!! A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!!
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jacobestes
10/01/09

@God: The leads are shit.
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God
10/01/09

@jacobestes: Infidel! You win third prize.
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If_I_Had_a_Poodle
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
and what percentage weren't arrested of the non daily candy eaters? duh?
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flythedelorean
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
So really, all those people who steal candy from babies are doing them a favor.
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Smitros
10/01/09

@flythedelorean:
I keep looking at the picture up there and thinking how easy it would be to jack that lollipop and step on Pippi Longstocking's foot for good measure.
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blix
10/01/09

@Smitros: Jacking the candy is unthinkable because it matches the socks and would bust up the ensemble.
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Smitros
10/01/09

@blix:
My straight male fashion sense is showing again.
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Kevin Purdy
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
Where's the "What We Need More Of Is Science" tag? I plan to make that the title of a future omni-trend book, and need its Google rank juiced ever so frequently.
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Smitros
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
New Conspiracy Theory: Guy Ritchie Subsidizes Cadbury to Get Material for His Films
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Btwbfdimho
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
In Newark parenting is more straightforward: give the kids cocaine at the day care.

[www.nj.com]
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Saxon 212
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
As an English child I was given candy every day and yes it's true because I did become a gangster and a drug dealer. No regrets though as I did a Kennedy and went legit years ago.
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Chore Boy
10/01/09

@Saxon 212: You did a Kennedy?

Which one, Ethel or Rose?
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SidAndFinancy
10/01/09

@saythatscool: Rosemary.
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Chore Boy
10/01/09

@SidAndFinancy: That Rosemary gives sloppy head. It's all that drool plus her helmet always gets in the way.
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Btwbfdimho
10/01/09

@saythatscool: All of them.
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Unsolicited Advice
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
Nature vs. oh shut up and have a lollipop you horrible brat.
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Btwbfdimho
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
New slogan for the Banana Republicans: I gonna keep my God, my Guns, my Guts, my Gums, and my Godiva.
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Bobby Big Wheel
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
Judging from the Big Book of British Smiles, there must be a lot of criminals in England.
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Richard Petty Bourgeoisie
10/01/09

@Bobby Big Wheel: Well, you got a awful big mouf, don't ya, Yank? How 'bout I stomp yer happy sack? [all accompanied by whistling sounds]
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Smitros
10/01/09

In reply to Candy Kids Kill
As always, we can't necesarily equate association with causation. This is an intriguing preliminary finding, but one wonders if this is capturing the effects of poor impulse control and/or inadequate parental supervision.

Just sayin'.
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BadUncle
10/01/09

@Smitros: Oh, go on. Next you'll say that mother's milk doesn't cause heroin addiction.
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Smitros
10/01/09

@BadUncle:
Only from the right breast.
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