Everyone, it seemed, was friending everyone; Glenn Beck was even snapping fan pics of Michelle Obama and chatting up liberal internet publisher Arianna Huffington (see selected Time 100 tweets below).

Some on stage, where the founders of Twitter were honored, limited their remarks to 140 characters.

And, like the hot microblogging startup, the event was one of the few remaining bubbles where the world's economic problems could be forgotten: The champagne and food reportedly flowed freely.

Not that everyone appreciated the insulation. Page Six's Paula Froelich was as disgruntled at having to attend the event as she was thrilled getting out of last night's Met Costume Ball. Ann Coulter had trouble finding a safe table, according to some whispers overheard by Glynnis MacNicol. And Time's James Poniewozik, stuck in the cheap seats at his own event, brought word that host Jimmy Fallon was scared by visions of a drunken full complement of View ladies.

(UPDATE: Froelich emails to set the record straight, "LOVED the Time 100 — was a heck of a lot of fun - was just annoyed about having to deal with subway in black tie and changing shoes/putting on makeup on the D train due to security for M.O. (I'm not dumb - i remember the inauguration fracas, you couldnt take a cab within 50 blocks of the Pbamas!).")

:

Some Twitter selections:

Pictures were taken, on and off the red carpet:

Michelle Obama was, naturally, sleeveless, and Stella McCartney requested she stay that way, forever, for the good of fashion. (Getty Images)

M.I.A. was sporting purple lipstick and a denim-y jacket. Glynnis MacNicol caught a shot of the singer mingling.

Liv Tyler, Stella McCartney and Kate Hudson were mingling, A-list style. (Getty)

Oprah always mingles A-list-style, by definition. (MacNicol)

A.R. Rahman and Falu perform. (Celebrity photographer (in a way) Evan Williams)

MacNicol becomes meta-paparazzo.

UPDATE: Keith Kelly from the New York Post put together a cool chart of who sat where at host Time Inc's tables. Highlights:

Power table: Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, and Time Inc. bigshots John Huey and Richard Stengel (Time editor).

Cool kids' table: Biz Stone of Twitter, hottie Obama speechwriter Jon Favreai, Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels and model/designer Lauren Bush.

Geek table: Conservative pundit Ann Coulter, stats whiz Nate Silver, Ford CEO Alan Mullally and Time assistant managing editor Michael Duffy.

Presumably she actually wanted to go to the Met Costume Gala but was forced to settle for the more plebeian Time function. But now there is exactly one reason to attend! Seeing our beloved First Lady may help you get through the mugging of emcee Jimmy Fallon, who is taking any microphone offered him these days. (He will also be at the Webbies. The Webbies! That's even more embarrassing than attending the damn Ellies. Which Fallon hosted.)

The curtain rises and first up is body builder Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's all oiled up and wearing a tiny Speedo. Edward Kennedy is wheeled onto stage and immediately Ahnold kneels down and undoes Senator Kennedy's slacks. He blows him which is weird because Kennedy is a) old and b) his uncle-in-law. Then Harry Potter's mother JK Rowling rimjobs Gordon Brown who is simultaneously felching Barack Obama while Barack's wife, Michelle, looks on, contentedly as she is muff-dived by Oprah Winfrey, who is, in turn, gamahoochied, by Diane Sawyer. In a corner, Ted Turner and T. Boone Pickens are naked and sweaty. The Silver Daddies are fucking each other. Ted's on top but he's sucking off Pickens below him.

All of a sudden Bono and George Clooney come on stage. Bono drops trou and Clooney gets down on all fours. Bono is in a Nazi officer uniform and Clooney pretends to be Jewish. Then they puke in each other's mouths, bow and exit stage left. Up next is a swarthy threesome. It's Paul Krugman, Nouriel Roubini and Mark Zandi. Nouriel is in a KKK hood, Krugman has—offstage, I guess—smeared himself in shit, and Zandi, an economist, has very carefully made all his thigh hair ingrown, somehow. Anyway, so Krugman gets down on all fours, Roubini circles around his back while Krugman takes Zandi in his mouth. Then the hairy shit contagion shutters like a rickety train until they collapse in a puddle of santorum.

Then, out of nowhere, Sharon Stone appears on stage with a Nebuchanezzer of champagne up her doodle. In one hand is a harp and with the other, she's pleasuring Barbara Hogan, 57, South Africa's minister of Health. Hogan is waving an AIDS infected syringe around, just spraying the shit everywhere.

Then a voice rings out from the audience. It's a talent agent. "That's great," he says, "but what do you call your act?"

All the activity stops on stage and in unison they yell, "THE TIME 100!"

Last fall, Weckerle interviewed Wales to get advice on how flacks can use Wikipedia to buff their clients' images. Wales is separated from his wife, Christine; the last time he mixed Wikipedia editing with pleasure, things ended badly. Can you come up with a better caption? Suggest one in the comments, and it will become the post's new headline. Friday's winner: hopelessdeskmonkey, for "Robot CEO smuggles human wife into movie premiere"

(Photo by Craig Newmark)

Everything is pulled from Twitter, specifically from the accounts of Brian Stelter, of the Times and its TV Decoder blog, and from MediaBistro's FishbowlNY.

Requisite "Celebrity X shorter than I thought" observation, let's get it out of the way (it is, after all, our mission!):

Smack talking!

More smack talking!

Your fearless future White House press corps:

McCain toasts Clinton and Obama? Civility is the new black??

I don't know what this even means, but it sounds interesting:

Schadenfreude...

...followed by defeated sigh:

Alright, so most of the smack talking was joshy intra-insider stuff, but it sounds like a reasonably interesting night. If Time is going to go to the trouble of staging this event, the magazine should Webcast at least some of it. The speeches, at least.

{Twitter/brianstelter, Twitter/FishbowlNY]

Once upstairs, and past a third red carpet—one which featured Joel Stein, grasping a Time 100 microphone, interviewing luminaries (including his boss, Time managing editor Rick Stengel, who had Cate Blanchett on his arm) for the Time website (for the young people!)—one entered the main room. Someone told a story about Matt Lauer—who was there with his once-rumored-to-be-estranged wife—making a beeline for Craigslist's Craig Newmark, who seemed confused that he was worthy of Matt Lauer's attention. Queen Rania of Jordan posed gamely for the cameras, and was saved by Mayor Bloomberg. Arianna Huffington told us that the Huffington Post's new comedy website, 23/6, was "going into beta" in the next couple of weeks.

We cornered Mr. Stengel and asked him about the quote he gave New York Magazine about Joel Stein, in which he referred to Mr. Stein as a "god to people in their 20s and 30s."

"People love him," Mr. Stengel assured us. "They search for him. He's his own brand!" Mr. Stein wrote a piece called the "Alt-Time 100" for the issue, in which he brought together Xzibit; Hugh Hefner girlfriend Bridget Marquardt; Ultimate Fighting Championship fighter Eddie Sanchez; krumper Tommy the Clown; Shear Genius contestant Dr. Boogie; "spray tanner" Jimmy Jimmy Coco; and party planner Glenda Borden for a lunch, and asked them who the people that mattered over the past year were. Later, Mr. Stein told us that he had asked 60 to 70 people to lunch, and these seven were the only ones who could make it.

Bill Belichick, the coach of the New England Patriots, told us he was not granting interviews. We heard that Julia Allison approached Martha Stewart and told her, "You've always been one of my role models." Mr. Newmark's girlfriend, who works in design for Banana Republic, told us that her dress was a sample.

At dinner, we were seated way up in the third tier, at Table 35 (out of 36), along with a producer from CNN, a Canadian gossip columnist, an American gossip columnist (ah, "media reporter"), a TimeWarner lawyer, and, in perhaps the most surprising turn of events of the evening, the director Whit Stillman. We pressed him for information about what had become of the actors from his 1990 film Metropolitan. The last he had heard of one, he told us sorrowfully, was that he had ended up giving guided tours of Toronto. As we ate the lobster tail appetizer, Mr. Stillman told us about his upcoming projects: a film set in early 1960s Jamaica, and an adaptation of the Christopher Buckley novel Little Green Men.

Mr. Stengel stood up to welcome the crowd, and said, "Is there a better place to be tonight? I don't think so!" As Youssou N'Dour sang, a video of images of Africa played on the large screens set up around the room. (Africa: Still hot.) Mr. Stengel said that the magazine had many discussions about "who is going to write about who." "Whom," hissed Mr. Stillman. "Who is going to write about whom."—Doree

Time 100 Gallery

Donald Trump wants you to know Autrey was given $10,000 by Donald Trump personally. (Donald Trump also reminds you that he has "a great respect for construction workers." Nice guy, that Donald Trump.)

Still, the Barbara Walters profile of "View" co-host Rosie O'Donnell taught us so much about that relationship: the "passion and compassion," the "feuds and the fearlessness." It was "a plunge on the roller coaster" for Walters, but the two remain "respectful and affectionate friends." Wow. Glad that all got sorted out. Really it's just so nice to hear the inside story. —balk

The Time 100 [Time]

The TIME 100 — Are They Worthy? [Time]