"How many people lost money on their Time Warner stock?" Many hands went up. "How many people think I could've done a worse job than the management did? I got asked that question last night and I said I don't think I could've done any worse, that's for sure."

Jeff Bercovici also made sure to quote the following, not that he was trying to imply anything:

Turner defended groudhogs against the calumny that they are a danger to cows, who stumble into their burrow holes. "Cows don't fall in the holes. That's a bunch of beans."

[Mixed Media]

L.G.: Well, they keep saying, they won't.

J.B.: I know. If they did, they have a taxable sale or something, so I don't want to prejudge them, but they have to decide what's in their interest. But if they decided not to sell it, they may decide to spin it off, who knows?

...We already said that we have kind of an obligation to look at anything that is out there that, if combined with our company, would produce a clear return for our shareholders. The problem with those speculations is that no one ever knows the price at which any of these things would be available. And we're kind of a big media company—at the lead if not the lead in most of the markets, from movie production, TV production, networks, magazine publishing. So if something comes up in one of those, we are an obvious candidate to consolidate and operate those businesses. We'd have to look at all of them, we will look at all things that happen. That does not mean we'll do them...

That's the kind of answer that gets you your own "FLASH" report on Drudge and sparks fresh speculation about an acquisition, even if NBC chief Jeff Zucker just swatted down takeover talk at a Portfolio forum this morning.

It was nearly a year ago now that an anonymously-sourced Financial Times report had GE planning to evaluate NBC's future at the conclusion of the Beijing Olympics in August. The conglomerate famously likes all of its divisions to be number one or number two in their sectors, and it was said to be unhappy with NBC's performance and fit with the rest of the company.

GE has been forcefully denying such speculation ever since. And it looks like it'll continue having to do so.

[Portfolio via Drudge]

Once confined to HBO and then Showtime, top-shelf programming has spread to smaller networks like AMC, home to Mad Men, and even Lifetime, future host to Runway. Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, with their fake news shows, have a level of influence that meets and even, at times, exceeds that of the broadcast news anchors.

As this process continues and even smaller networks come up with distinctive hits that grow their audiences — think TNT, FX, Sci Fi and the Food Network — cable will have achieved something of an advertiser's holy grail: Narrow targeting combined with deep reach, something never really possible on broadcast television and still being tinkered with online. The efficiency of advertising on these networks, by the way, happens to be quite attractive when you economy is slowly melting.

The cable boom will be pretty glorious, at least until advertisers wise up about how many viewers are digitally skipping right over their commercials, at which point product placement will poison all that creative fun, and everyone will be sad until the Sex And The City of iTunes comes along and moves the fun to yet another medium.

(Photo: Rick on Flickr)

Bob Pittman's claims to have founded MTV were overstated, but he was closely associated with the cable music channel's gigantic success in the 1980s. It was said of his wife Sandy, who later attempted to conquer Everest, that she gave a new meaning to the term "social climber." And Pittman himself was equally ambitious on the Manhattan circuit, though he scaled the social and business heights with a good deal of charm and grace.

The one-eyed mogul, now 54 years old, came tumbling down after he took over management of revenue-inflating AOL during the bubble. The online access service cashed in on the funds being invested in late 1990s dotcoms, much of which was spent on advertising partnerships which gave the startup brands a place on AOL pages.

The Dulles-based online service was never going to survive unscathed a downturn and the erosion of the dial-up market, and Pittman's reputation would have suffered anyway. But the infamous 2000 merger between AOL and media giant Time Warner ensured he would not merely be despised by investors who bought into AOL at its revenue-inflated peak; he personified to Time Warner veterans the arrogance and empty rhetoric of the AOL upstarts. Pittman managed to sell $94m in stock in the aftermath of the merger, but the dilution of Time Warner shareholders ensured the hatred of a large part of Manhattan's media establishment.

Pittman's contribution to Daily Candy has been more constructive. His salesmanship transformed Dany Levy's cute little newsletter into a marketing machine for fashion and retail brands. Pittman's reputation as a canny internet investor is made by this transaction, by some measure the best return of his fund. To be sure, the web may eclipse email as the preferred online medium for advertisers, and Comcast may have bought a property that's past its peak. But the cable company's bosses are in Philadelphia, a city that Pittman can easily avoid. In terms of Manhattan media, the former wonderboy is back.

In Arlington for his girlfriend's dance rehearsal, Simmermon wandered into the inauspiciously named Murky Coffee. Sensibly ignoring a ridiculous sign (left), the Time Warner Cable executive ordered an iced triple espresso, it being July and all. Told this couldn't be done, because it was against policy, Simmermon then switched his order to a triple espresso and a cup of ice. This request was accepted very, very grudgingly.

A short time later, the most awesome exchange in the history of coffeeshops took place:

The barista called me over to the bar. I reached for [the espresso], and he leaned over and locked his eyes with mine, saying “Hey man. What you’re about to do … that’s really, really Not Okay.”

I could hear the capital letters in his voice, could see the gravity of the situation in his eyes.

He continued: “This is our store policy, to preserve the integrity of the coffee. It’s about the quality of the drink, and diluting the espresso is really not cool with us. So I mean, you’re going to do what you’re going to do, and I can’t stop you, but”

I interrupted. “You’re goddamned right you can’t stop me,” I said. “I happen to have a personal policy that prohibits me from indulging stupid bullshit like this — and another personal policy of doing what I want with the products I pay for.” Then I looked him right in his big wide eyes and poured the espresso onto the ice.

On his blog, Simmermon illustrates this exchange with a clip of Jack Nicholson in Five Easy Pieces. Go check it out, if you like, he tells the pre-publicity part of this story wonderfully.

Anyway, Simmermon later has to place another order because, well, it's been an hour and needs some more goddamned caffeine! The fact that he's jonesing for more coffee only 60 minutes after a triple espresso maybe should have clued in the coffee shop to what sort of customer it had on its hands. But of course, at this point it was too late.

Simmermon orders "the strongest iced beverage your policy will allow," and is served an iced, four-shot Americano. He liked it! And he left a tip!

Simmermon also said (later, on his blog post) "the only way I’m ever coming back to Murky Coffee in Arlington is if I’m carrying matches and a can of kerosene." Well.

The post found its way to MetaFilter and BoingBoing. Simmermon posted an update, saying "it’s a little embarrassing. I mean, I can freely admit that I acted like a total dick here." He posted a clip of Lily Tomlin acting like a total dick somewhere else.

Then the cafe owner responded on his blog! He was not pleased!

To Mr. Simmermon, you overplayed your hand with your vulgar tip-schtick. While I certainly won't bemoan you your right to free-speech, I have to respond to you in your own dialect: F*@k you, Jeff Simmermon. Considering your public threat of arson, you'll understand when I say that if you ever show your face at my shop, I'll punch you in your dick.

The owner, Nick Cho, also said his coffee shop is basically known for its anal policies, including some serious sadistic BS like "no modifications to the Classic Cappuccino," whatever that's about, and, bizarrely, "no questions will be answered about the $5 Hot Chocolate" (emphasis added).

Cho also tried to claim that the iced espresso ban is "mostly for quality reasons... when [espresso] hits ice, it seems to go through a chemical change that we can't fully explain." But then he admitted his shop used to serve iced espressos, but most people who bought them added milk to create a cheap "ghetto latte." So really the whole ban is about money, not quality.

The Post thinks "both sides look like drips" in this feud. But do they? A cable guy accidentally earned a national reputation for standing up for good customer service, which will probably never happen again anywhere, ever. And a cafe showed espresso snobs worldwide that it will defend the delicate acids in its shots come hell or high water.

Isn't that, in the end, really, really OK?

[Post, And I Am Not Lying]

(Photos via Simmermon's Facebook, tbridge on Flickr and And I Am Not Lying.)

"One of them, Time Warner Cable, began a trial of 'Internet metering' in one Texas city early this month, asking customers to select a monthly plan and pay surcharges when they exceed their bandwidth limit. The idea is that people who use the network more heavily should pay more, the way they do for water, electricity, or, in many cases, cellphone minutes.

"That same week, Comcast said that it would expand on a strategy it uses to manage Internet traffic: slowing down the connections of the heaviest users, so-called bandwidth hogs, at peak times.

"AT&T also said Thursday that limits on heavy use were inevitable and that it was considering pricing based on data volume. 'Based on current trends, total bandwidth in the AT&T network will increase by four times over the next three years,' the company said in a statement.

"All three companies say that placing caps on broadband use will ensure fair access for all users. Internet metering is a throwback to the days of dial-up service, but at a time when video and interactive games are becoming popular, the experiments could have huge implications for the future of the Web [...]

“'As soon as you put serious uncertainty as to cost on the table, people’s feeling of freedom to predict cost dries up and so does innovation and trying new applications,' Vint Cerf, the chief Internet evangelist for Google who is often called the 'father of the Internet,' said in an e-mail message.

"But the companies imposing the caps say that their actions are only fair. People who use more network capacity should pay more, Time Warner argues. And Comcast says that people who use too much—like those who engage in file-sharing—should be forced to slow down." [NYT]

This is apparently the first time these ISPs have agreed to censor certain web content. (AOL, whose user base is shrinking, has already blocked certain content, according to the Times.) And once that line is crossed, theoretically it could be pushed to block more and more porn. The first iteration of this filter will probably block just this universally illegal and dangerous content. But with this tool in place nationwide, another federal A.G. like Alberto Gonzales would find it much easier to enforce draconian obscenity laws. (A relevant concern: Just last week a federal jury convicted pornographer Max Hardcore of criminal obscenity for his consensual of-age extreme pornography.)

A filter doesn't stop child porn; it just moves the problem somewhere else. The distributors will just find new ways to pass the porn along, new ways to disguise it, ways to get around the cataloging system that Cuomo's office uses to search for child porn. (Since only law enforcement is allowed to view child porn so they can make sure no one else ever does, one can only speculate what leads a person to land a job on the child porn task force and how much Cuomo's description of child porn — "These are 4-year-olds, 5-year-olds, assault victims, there are animals in the pictures" — comes from direct experience.)

The decision also turns the country into Cuomo's de facto jurisdiction. If the content is coming from inside New York, why hasn't Cuomo's office shut down and prosecuted the source? If it's not from New York, how does Cuomo have authority? He argues that ISPs are responsible, and it is hard to refute the logic that no one should knowingly allow someone else to view child pornography. But isn't stopping it his job in the first place?

Photo of Andrew Cuomo by Getty

UPDATE: A Time Warner spokesperson says the Times was wrong, and the company does not plan to block any web sites, but it will access to all newsgroups.

The CW's fall schedule, unveiled this week, suggests the network has few fresh ideas. It is debuting only three new shows, all designed to complement Gossip Girl, which executives hope will find a larger audience come fall. The new offerings are: 90210, an updated version of the 1990s hit prime-time soap about rich kids in California, Beverly Hills, 90210; Surviving the Filthy Rich, a drama about rich kids in Palm Beach; and the reality show Stylista.

Nothing is said about what happens to Gossip Girl if CW closes, but it's hard to imagine neither CBS nor Time Warner could find space for the series on some other network. If need be, alternative strategic plans could perhaps be generated at another Gossip Girl summit.

[WSJ]

Note: this cafe is reserved for Time Warner employees and employees under its conglomerate. It is on the 10th floor of the Time Warner building.

First things first, you must purchase a card and put money on it to eat here, or use a credit card or debit card. You cannot use cash here. Moderate to heavily busy, the lunch here is an upscale cafeteria, with the seating comfortable and a terrific, open, full wall window views of Central Park. Its expensive for sure, but they have top notch food usually, theme days, such as sushi, and staples like a deli, salad, salad bar in the middle island, snacks, burgers, steaks, salmon, pasta, and some more traditional American foods. Its not quite as good as The Lodge in the Viacom building (which has a nice outdoor area patio), that place rocks the shiznit, but its solid, the view is great, and its just a wonderful place to eat if you are part of the TW family.

The nice part is people watching TW employees, who dress a little more appropriately than I do for work, and how they are different from the office I work in in terms of demeanor and style. Its just nice to see, compare and contrast. You could be sitting next to a president and not know it. I love that about life.

Oh and there's hot sauce everywhere. And the grill man is really funny.

Beyond that, a lot of stuff and events are held here, I think its an RA run place (Restaurant Associates), which is probably the largest catering company in the city.

TELL ME WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE!
THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE!

Media conglomerates such as Time Warner, which went through its own disastrous mega-merger with AOL in 2000, seemed finally to be recognizing that size wasn't everything. “Whether [Time Warner] is the biggest is not the main thing," said Jeffrey Bewkes, Time Warner's incoming chief executive. "It needs to be the most profitable." Sumner Redstone last year spun out Viacom's traditional media businesses such as TV network, CBS. And Barry Diller's IAC is, even if only after pressure from disgruntled shareholders, being broken up.

Now one can be sure every media company chief executive is running around like a headless chicken. They know that their future depends on internet advertising. For the moment, the bulk of the growth appears to be going to those properties with the biggest audience reach, which scares smaller media companies. Add in a mega-merger they don't understand: it's the perfect environment for media bankers to present consolidation as inevitable and their hair-brained schemes as urgent.

Most of these ideas will come to nothing. But someone who understands the web just enough to be dangerous, will be panicked into a moronic deal. (Arthur Sulzberger of the New York Times, maybe, though he's hampered by the family legacy). Microsoft will survive the hugely expensive and wearying combination it is now proposing. Traditional media companies which follow its example don't have the luxury of making the same mistakes.

Take Riches' suit against CNN hairmonger Lou Dobbs (Filed Oct. 07, closed Oct. 07). Dobbs stood accused of promoting racism against immigrants, defamation of character, treason, and generally "Gestapo Nazi SS" tactics that caused irreparable harm to Riches. Kind of true? Sure! Good for $200 million from a federal judge? Sorry, no. We called Dobbs' rep to see if he was recovering from the stress of this suit, but she hasn't gotten back to us yet, strangely.

Riches doesn't win cases ever, as far as we can tell. But plenty of suits are still pending! Like the one he filed this week against David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, for working as X-files agents to "illegally incarcerate me under Bookes and fanfan." Or the other one he filed earlier this week against Newsweek columnist Fareed Zakaria for giving his fingerprints to neoconservative Interpol agents to set him up on bogus fraud charges. Or the other one he filed this week against drab media mogul Mort Zuckerman for his contributions to Riches' "24 hour abuse/ torture/ beatings." Mercy!

Riches hasn't sued Nick Denton yet, but it's only a matter of time now. Or maybe he'll be thankful to us for helping him blow the cover off the Katie Couric-rat poop-Jewish Mossad connection. The evidence is all here:

Everyone,

Today we're announcing some significant changes that are part of our ongoing migration of Court TV to truTV. Our plans include a revamp of how - and where - entertainment and trial content is used on the Web.

On Jan. 1, 2008, courttv.com will become truTV.com. We will make truTV.com a popular destination, with an abundance of video content and materials exclusive to the Web. Our archive of stories from crimelibrary.com will be available as well.

Online trial coverage will shift to CNN.com from courttvnews.com. CNN plans to launch a new section of its site, CNN.com/crime. This section will replace CNN.com/law, providing a strong destination for crime news, trial coverage and news from the Justice Department. This section will be managed by CNN.com staffers in Atlanta.

These changes will lead to reductions in our online group. Sixteen positions on Court TV's Web staff will be eliminated. Fifteen staffers will continue to work on the new truTV.com. Of course, we'll work closely with colleagues who are directly impacted to provide whatever professional transition assistance we can.
In addition, we are reducing positions in some other areas - six in operations and two in daytime.

I'd like to thank everyone for their contribution to the success of Court TV, courttv.com and courttvnews.com. We are saddened to let people go, but these changes are a necessary part of a larger strategic plan to make our network stronger.

Marc Juris

General Manager, Court TV/truTV

A tipster writes:

A wet mess at the Time Warner Center this morning. We can't use any of the elevators that service all of the CNN floors. Apparently, the torrential downpour caused flooding in the elevator banks that stop on 1 through 10. Either a drain pipe burst or a vent was left open and water poured in. It was cascading down through the elevator shafts and water pooled on all of the floors by the elevators. So much for being in an luxurious, state of the art new building. Employees had to enter through the North tower and navigate a maze of hallways and stairs to get to their floors and studios. The water apparently also messed up some of the internal video feeds. But naturally, the thing that people seemed to be most concerned about is how the heck are they going to get up to that glorious corporate cafeteria on the 10th floor for their egg white omelettes.