What are scientists up to these days, in their science castles? Oh, not much. Not much... except inventing a way to make whole events invisible by fucking around with time.

Jerry Guo's startup "Grouper" sets people up on dates with posses of strangers. That's the kind of company you need to be able to trust. Which is why it's especially relevant that Guo's history of conning people—and apparently the nation of Thailand!—has just been revealed.

In your workmanlike Thursday media column: Megan McCarthy to the NYO, Ana Marie Cox and Nick Davies to The Guardian, a new EP at ABC News, Jon Meacham to Time, and ruthless morning news bookers.

In your Molotov-y Tuesday media column: London is unsafe for journalists, Alec Baldwin likes newspapers, Time magazine is beating the piss out of Newsweek, News of the World staffers get severance offers, KING magazine remembered, and scientists vs. journalists.

A team of physicists has determined that we'll never, ever be able to visit bygone eras, because nothing can travel faster than the speed of light—just like Albert Einstein said. Guess you'll never get to tackle Gavrilo Princip and thwart World War I or make out with Clark Gable after all.

Nice baboons! Dead trees! Spiral galaxies! Ipad apps! Macaque alarms! Time machines! Rainbow toads! Eyeball pictures! And the latest news about the fishes and their watery friends! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—faster than you thought!

Delivering a commencement speech is the academic equivalent of hosting the Oscars. It's high risk, high payoff, and potentially — if the stars align just right — pure showbiz magic. But when upwardly failing Today Show space cadet Ann Curry delivered an address to the graduates of Wheaton College, she pulled off…

Time magazine may have grown increasingly neutered with their choices for Person of the Year, but when it comes to their Dead Mass-Murderer of the Week covers, forget about it — they're balls to the wall. The issue, on stands this Thursday, gives Osama bin Laden their trademark "Red X" treatment — previously used on…

In your breezy Thursday media column: the Today Show wins television forever, the NYT hopes its paywall rises higher than its ad revenue falls, Vivian Schiller warns NPR, Time puts random media people on a list, and Mediaite rules.

In your lustrous Thursday media column: Jon Meacham switches teams, the Harman family offers soothing Newsweek assurances, the NYT pays, Arianna Huffington doesn't pay, and Miss Beasley is a multiplatform phenomenon.

The further you go into dream levels, the more action you can fit into the same amount of real time. Here's a video that shows everything happening at once! (Warning: it's still not going to make sense)

The cover of Time's election preview issue reads, "How a new breed of Republicans tapped into voter rage and upset the Establishment—but can they govern?" More pertinently, can half of the candidates on Time's cover win their elections?

Look at what prestigious Time magazine put on its website yesterday: this dumb poll that doesn't even make sense. Japery—or mistakery? Oh, mercy. You can't make this stuff up, folks. Click to enlarge—if you dare!

Hey, this is pretty cool! Here's inventor Bram Knaapen's Arduino-powered Equinox Clock, which ditches the traditional hands interface in favor of customizable LED displays. Inside, a video that demonstrates the Equinox Clock's main features, and an overview of its specs.

[Workers repair one of Big Ben's four faces. Watch out, worker! Image via Getty.]

It's real. The Saudi government is currently building an enormous clock tower in Mecca, set to Arabia Standard Time, that they hope will overshadow the Greenwich Observatory as the true center of the world's time. Yes. Arab Muslims: Time Thieves.

Mavericky ex-Gov. Sarah Palin attended the Time 100 gala earlier this week—thrown by the mainstream media—and tried to justify her bizarre views on the press. She did so in a forthright and, well, utterly confusing and garbled way.

In your pleasant Thursday media column: Sarah Palin produces a string of English-language words that ostensibly describe Glenn Beck, a NYT reporter is hazy on sourcing rules, Barack Obama smooches the press, and management moves at Forbes.

Steve Jobs might have guessed that celebrity Time correspondent Stephen Fry would be a soft interviewer. But the Apple CEO should know photographers can be more dangerous than mere scribblers. Witness the picture of a scarily gaunt Jobs.