Gawker
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gossip roundup
Michael Phelps' Love Life Involves Barbara Walters
- Michael Phelps is dating Barbara Walters' assistant "Marina," with whom he went to college. Wait, that's a fake name right?? Is someone playing a trick on poor old Cindy Adams? [Cindy Adams]
- What pairs well with xenophobia and shouting? Jay McInerney knows! At Benoit, "McInerney and his wife, Anne Hearst, had to calm down political commentator Robert Zimmerman, who'd just had a fierce on-air tangle with Lou Dobbs. Jay prescribed Zimmerman a bottle of 1991 Côte-Rôtie La Turque Domaine Guigal." Frog-loving traitors, all of them. [R&M, second-to-last item]
- Good Morning America defeated Today to score a live Britney Spears performance, leaving NBC suits "fuming," according to the NBC News-haters at the Post. Meanwhile, the singer is sane and cognizant enough to be terrified she's bungled one court case so badly she may go to jail. Her handlers take this as a positive sign!
- Alec Baldwin loved (second item) Sarah Palin's behavior off camera at Saturday Night Live, but Chevy Chase was less charitable about what she did on-camera: "She cannot improvise herself out of a paper bag."
- Elizabeth Taylor, 76, likes to be wheeled into a West Hollywood gay bar, where she drinks tequila shots and Apple martinis. They call them the golden years for a reason, people. [P6]
- Sean Penn is Venezuela, just hanging out, committing some light treason. [P6]
- Tom Cruise is a huge Tina Turner fan. In a very straight way, of course. [P6]
- Breaking: David Geffen still hates the Clintons. "They are vindictive, and people were afraid of being excluded." [R&M, third item]
- Sting's wife said she totally called the Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce. She also allowed it to happen, by introducing the couple. So, uh, nice work, detective. Gwyneth Paltrow, meanwhile, is behaving like a real well-publicized celebrity friend.
- No one, and I mean no one, pisses in Shannon Doherty's bathroom unless her name is freaking Shannon Doherty. And don't ever forget it! [Daily Star]
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diva fight
This Unforgivable Insult To Aretha Franklin's Dignity Will Not Stand
Soul diva Aretha Franklin tried to teach everyone about "Respect" forty years ago, but that was before a certain young hussy named Beyoncé Knowles was even born, so now an unschooled Beyoncé has gone and called a singer other than Aretha Franklin a "queen." Oh yes, she did, and as far as anyone can tell Beyoncé is still miraculously alive, probably in hiding somewhere without access to a decent stylist or personal trainer or even her furs. Given the gravity of the situation, Franklin realized it was necessary to issue a statement to the national press reminding everyone that she is the "Queen of Soul" while the hussy Beyoncé is someone who drums up "a cheap shot for controversy." After the jump, video of the impostor queen as introduced at the Grammy Awards by the blasphemous liar Beyoncé. More » -
staying classy
"Ike 'Beats' Tina" Is Post's Classiest Headline Ever
Ike Turner is dead at 76, which means he has not outlived his onetime wife Tina Turner and thereby beaten her to the ultimate finish line: Death. See what they did there? Ike had a long and influential career during which he collaborated with many famous musicians and maybe sort of helped invent rock and roll, but he will be remembered mostly as Laurence Fishburne in the 1993 movie 'What's Love Got To Do With It,' being like "Eat the cake, Anna Mae," to Angela Bassett.
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