Gawker: tmz tv

74 Reasons to Hate TMZ

noelle_hancock — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:42:03 EDT

It takes a lot to get us angry these days. We're medicated and mostly in a constant state of sedation. However, we'll make an exception for TMZ's new slideshow: Premature Aging! (exclamation point theirs). This is a gallery featuring 74 photos of celebrities with pithy comments underneath, criticizing them for looking "decades" older than their age. For instance: "Mischa Barton — At 22, she looks old enough to play her mother on The O.C." or "Tara Reid — At 32, she's still not as haggard as her liver."

Unsurprisingly, this perpetually misogynistic website uses mostly women in the gallery, although they throw in a few men like Mickey Rourke to pretend to even the score. The one saving grace is that by the time you get to page 2, TMZ no longer bothers with their moronic commentary.

Listen, we agree that Chelsea Handler is probably not 33. Who's kidding who here? Fergie looks older as well, mostly because she has meth face. But taking cheap shots at the physical appearance of teens like Ali Lohan, 14, Riley Keough, 18, and Miley Cyrus, 15, is unnecessary and crass. Most offensively, it's not funny. Painfully unfunny.

While we're on the subject of the painfully unfunny, hear this, TMZ! We caught some of your show TMZ TV when it first ushered in the end of times. With the exception of the one hot guy you clearly just hired for the show, most of the staff has what is called a "face for blogging." You're the last people on earth who should be calling other people out for looking busted. Unlike you guys, however, we're not going to name names because that would require us to actually learn your names. Which would require us to watch the show again.

A sample of TMZ's "hilarious" commentary below...

Great news, everybody! TMZ TV, the most erudite ...

Choire — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 09:40:24 EDT

Great news, everybody! TMZ TV, the most erudite and thoughtful of your celebrity news options on the idiot box, is a hit! "It was the top-rated new show in syndication by a wide margin, delivering a 1.7 household rating, or about two million viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research." [NYT]

TMZ Takes Stand Against Tree-Murderer Bette Midler

Choire — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 12:24:06 EDT

"TMZ TV," the most important development in television since Mary Hart first plastered on her face for Entertainment Tonight, continues to blow our minds. But they're not just an advance in the medium of television! We think you'll agree that their assault (demonstrated ably here) on the artificial public constructs and confusions of contemporary personhood is the best-articulated since Roland Barthes' Death of the Author!

Good news/bad news for the debut week of ...

abalk — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 09:30:23 EDT

Good news/bad news for the debut week of "TMZ": "The good news: More viewers watched the half-hour than any other new five-a-weeker. The bad: 'TMZ' was down 25% from the year-ago time period and down 17% from its lead-in." Analysts caution that it's too early to make any judgment based on these numbers: "[W]hen daylight saving time ends on Nov. 4, and it gets dark earlier, more people will head indoors to watch TV." Also, people are only getting stupider, so that should help. [Variety]

A Weary Nation Has Moved On

abalk — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 15:40:51 EDT

Last night our new favorite TV show "TMZ" sent a correspondent to the hotspots of L.A. to see how well Angeleno clubgoers remembered the terrible events of September 11. The results will not surprise you in the least, unless you think Angeleno clubgoers are some sort of species of meth-snorting Einsteins.

TMZ TV: Slatternly Drunk Girls Say The Darndest Things

abalk — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:50:14 EDT

Our final look at "TMZ's" new television component explains exactly why the show works so well: It's all about the story mix. Every entertainment program does stories about celebrity escapades, but TMZ can also step away from the velvet rope to bring you this hard-hitting expose of drunk girls slurring their words, flashing their bodies, and puking on sidewalks. This thing is gonna be on forever.

TMZ TV: Vida Guerra Responsible, Racktastic

abalk — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 14:30:08 EDT

We're a little closer to understanding why "TMZ" the TV show works so well. (Or: "so well.") Take this item about an intoxicated Vida Guerra. We had never heard of Guerra before, but the correspondent identifies her as a "booty queen and FHM model" (context), informs us that she was happy to turn over her car keys to a less inebriated friend (social value), informs us of a previous automotive challenge she's faced (history), and does a tight pan on Guerra's tits (tits). This show gives you everything you need!

TMZ TV: Tommy Lee And Kid Rock Go At It

abalk — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 11:30:23 EDT

Last night saw the debut of "TMZ" in its televised form, and we're kind of astounded. It's actually really good in a "death of Western culture" kind of way: crass, snappy, humorous, knowing, smirking, and sarcastic. Their turnaround time is impressive, and the little graphical flourishes they toss in make a good case that this is the new standard in omnibus trash television. It's just a day old, so it might be too early to judge, but today we're going to spend some time figuring out why it works so well. Anyway, here's how they covered the Tommy Lee and Kid Rock fracas at the MTV Video Music Awards.