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A tipster just sent us this screengrab from celebrity gossip horror show TMZ's website. It offers a grim sampling of what's been recently featured on TMZ TV: The odious Kardashian sisters, newly babied Jennifer Lopez, sad melon ball Britney Spears, and, um, Hitler. Sounds about right.
The State of Things
"'Based on the record before us,' the FCC said, 'we conclude that TMZ does qualify as a bona fide newscast because it reports news of some area of current events, in a manner similar to more traditional newscasts.'" [B&C]
"'Based on the record before us,' the FCC said, 'we conclude that TMZ does qualify as a bona fide newscast because it reports news of some area of current events, in a manner similar to more traditional newscasts.'" [B&C]
shut up
people's court
Harvey Levin Will Settle The World's Arguments
Harvey Levin, you clever dog. The amoral TMZ founder is helping to launch on online version of the People's Court, called PeoplesCourtRaw.com. It features pairs of videos, one arguing each side of an issue, which users can vote on to pick a winner [Mixed Media]. See how he plucked a concept from TV and put it right on the web? It could work! Levin used to work for the People's Court on TV, so he has the scholarly background needed to pull this off. After the jump, one example of the site's work: a couple debates whether the boyfriend should shave his back hair. Well, Judge Wapner never had any important cases either. More »
Weight
TMZ has a lovely photo album today of famous people who got fat. Mark-Paul Gosselaar luckily escaped notice for that awkward season of Saved By the Bell.
TMZ has a lovely photo album today of famous people who got fat. Mark-Paul Gosselaar luckily escaped notice for that awkward season of Saved By the Bell.
celebrity-industrial complex
In addition to making fun of your mother's death and mocking people for supposedly aging prematurely, Harvey Levin's TMZ loves to write oh-so-clever sex-pun headlines. The one pictured ran with a story about Britney Spears being ordered to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees. There are some more, just from the past couple of days, after the jump. Reading them well help you develop the vital skill of applying a dick joke to virtually any situation.
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TMZ's Cheesy, Innuendo-Laden Headlines
In addition to making fun of your mother's death and mocking people for supposedly aging prematurely, Harvey Levin's TMZ loves to write oh-so-clever sex-pun headlines. The one pictured ran with a story about Britney Spears being ordered to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees. There are some more, just from the past couple of days, after the jump. Reading them well help you develop the vital skill of applying a dick joke to virtually any situation.
More »
now we're angry
74 Reasons to Hate TMZ
It takes a lot to get us angry these days. We're medicated and mostly in a constant state of sedation. However, we'll make an exception for TMZ's new slideshow: Premature Aging! (exclamation point theirs). This is a gallery featuring 74 photos of celebrities with pithy comments underneath, criticizing them for looking "decades" older than their age. For instance: "Mischa Barton — At 22, she looks old enough to play her mother on The O.C." or "Tara Reid — At 32, she's still not as haggard as her liver." More »
Why is Brandon Davis Alive?
I hate TMZ, truly, I do. But I hate pudgy rich homicide-victim-in-waiting Brandon Davis even more. So here's the sniveling little shit dropping the N-bomb.
tmz
Lindsay Lohan And I Feel the Same Way About TMZ
Hey, speaking of TMZ, the gossip outlet for jerks, Lindsay Lohan, a popular subject of theirs, appeared on yesterday's show. She made fun of them and basically called their whole operation stupid, but they didn't really seem to notice or care and just chuckled along like the buffoons they are. Video after the jump.More »
things i actually hate
TMZ Will Even Make Fun of Your Mother's Death
Yesterday the staff at TMZ, Harvey Levin's AOL Time Warner-owned gossip site, tossed themselves over a line that I don't think even Perez Hilton would dare approach. They made fun of someone's dead mother. In a piece posted yesterday afternoon they wrote: "The mother of 'American Idol' contestant Elliott Yamin died last night in Richmond, Va. She was 65. Claudette Yamin had been hospitalized over the weekend... Yamin finished in 3rd place in 2006 on 'Idol,' behind Katharine McPhee and Taylor Hicks — who, like Mrs. Yamin, will never be heard from again." Commenters were upset in their usual thoughtful, Socratic way and TMZ eventually acknowledged the thoughtless remarks toward the end of the day. Mind you I say "acknowledged," not "apologized for." More »
breaking
Page Six Shutters Web Site After Three Months
History is repeating itself. During the last internet bubble, Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation used its Page Six brand to launch a new entertainment website, Pagesix.com. The property has had an even shorter life this cycle: Pagesix.com, which was largely independent of the newspaper's Page Six print column, is being shuttered immediately; it had been live only since December. The URL already redirects to the New York Post's main website, and the site's staff have had their access to email cut off. Managing Editor, David Boyle, told the site's Los Angeles staff. "Given the difficulty in the economy, it was not the right time for this launch," said Jennifer Jehn, one of the site's managers. A total of 18 editorial and support staffers will be let go and three reassigned within the New York Post. More »
multiculturalism
TMZ Shows Off Knowledge Of Idiots, Ethnology
This is an in-house ad that is currently running on gossip site TMZ. Pareene hopes that next we'll meet the "Oriental" Ashley Tisdale. I'm hoping for the "Swarthy" Jonas Brothers. (Click for larger)
gossip
There are so many spectacular headlines on TMZ and Us Weekly's websites every day that I must sift through, including this groundbreaking revelation about the most imperiled children in the world. And because I'm in a bad mood, I'm inflicting them upon you. This one is my favorite, and I've included another after the jump. Suckers!
More »
Breaking: Things Happened To Famous People Recently
There are so many spectacular headlines on TMZ and Us Weekly's websites every day that I must sift through, including this groundbreaking revelation about the most imperiled children in the world. And because I'm in a bad mood, I'm inflicting them upon you. This one is my favorite, and I've included another after the jump. Suckers!
More »
gossip
TMZ Presents First Item Aimed at 'Slate' Audience
Like perhaps everyone who has a website of any kind, we recieve TMZ blast email alerts all day, every day. This is not a complaint—they're often entertaining, if just as often completely inexplicable (TMZ EXCLUSIVE: Alleged 'Entourage' Victim Says "Never Mind!" TMZ: Miley Cyrus' Achy Breaky Stomach! TMZ EXCLUSIVE: Paris Has Too Many Bitches?!! TMZ EXCLUSIVE: Hoff to Pam: One French Maid, Pleeeze! TMZ EXLUSIVE: Randy Quaid's Wife — Nazis Out to Get Randy). This, though, is the weirdest one we have ever received. It's a sighting of Fawn Hall. The noted Iran-Contra figure. Ollie North's old secretary apparently works in a bookstore now, guys, in case you were wondering. Now someone get on the Eugene Hasenfus beat! (Click to enlarge)
public relations
Michael Sands, LAPD: Most Trustworthy Sources In Gossipdom
Actor, model, cheesecake entrepreneur, and publicist Michael Sands is helping his client, Britney manager/ extorter Sam Lutfi, protect his valuable reputation by craftily playing gossip outlets against each other. TMZ reported last night that the LAPD is investigating Lutfi for illegally drugging Britney. Hours later, PageSix.com struck back with a report that the po-po is doing no such thing [UPDATE: Radar.com takes credit for the original scoop]! The evidence is clear: More »
gossip
Breaking: TMZ is Awful
Christopher Lawrence of the Las Vegas Review Journal does not like Harvey Levin or his schlocky celebrity reportage show TMZ on TV (based on the best selling website, TMZ.com) He hates it so much that he decided to watch the show for a week and document how much he hates it. And wouldn't you know it? What he recorded is pretty hateful. Some selected moments from the reporter/bit of a square's week in hell:- "Monday, 7:30 p.m. — Levin calls one of the Spears family's countless court dates 'maybe the biggest hearing ever.' Take that, Roe v. Wade!"
- "Monday, 7:52 p.m. — Sharon Stone, Marcia Cross, Juliette Lewis and, I swear to God, Cheech Marin are asked what they think of Britney."
- "Thursday, 7:37 p.m. — Amy Winehouse is 'crack-tabulous.' Zing! Drug addiction is a hoot."
- "Thursday; 7:43 p.m. — Donald Trump is asked what he thinks of Britney."
- "Friday, 7:39 p.m. — The Rolling Stones look like Mount Rushmore. Get it? They're old. Like Larry King."
Paint Your Wagon
Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan reportedly has a dangerous enabler friend/hanger-on named Patrick Aufdenkamp (which is actually the sound Heidi Klum makes when she sneezes) and it is not good! Sources close to the actress say Aufdenkamp (bless you!) has put her in close proximity to alcohol on numerous occasions, including the star's New Year's trip to Italy, during which she had a relapse. Also breaking news: TMZ makes their one millionth "No, no, no" rehab joke, for which Harvey Levin will receive a free meal at the Ground Round. [TMZ]
Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan reportedly has a dangerous enabler friend/hanger-on named Patrick Aufdenkamp (which is actually the sound Heidi Klum makes when she sneezes) and it is not good! Sources close to the actress say Aufdenkamp (bless you!) has put her in close proximity to alcohol on numerous occasions, including the star's New Year's trip to Italy, during which she had a relapse. Also breaking news: TMZ makes their one millionth "No, no, no" rehab joke, for which Harvey Levin will receive a free meal at the Ground Round. [TMZ]
tmz
TMZ's Harvey Levin explained the all-you-can-watch gossip site's philosophy to a class of NYU students: "We're gonna cover Britney Spears the way David Gregory covers President Bush." A blogger called Connie has been inspired by such obsessive pursuit of trivial topics. In a post, yesterday, she applies TMZ's warts-and-all treatment to a Hollywood personality largely insulated from the attention of the gossip industry: Harvey Levin himself. Alec Baldwin, embarrassed by angry voicemails for his teenaged daughter that TMZ disseminated, outed Levin as gay last year. (Big deal: isn't every single gossip mogul?) Levin with lives with his boyfriend, a chiropracter, Dr. Andy Mauer. Sounds respectable, and dull. Except, as Connie helpfully points out, Dr. Andy has another qualification: huge muscles which won him spreads in physique magazines such as Muscle & Fitness, shown here; and chiropracter is often just a fancy word for masseur. Hot! (Background: here's an excellent profile of the Sultan of Sleaze, in Radar. And, after the jump, one of the television performances in which Levin, a failed actor, wrings his hands at the celebrity meltdowns from which he so profits.)
More »
Harvey Levin's Muscular Masseur
TMZ's Harvey Levin explained the all-you-can-watch gossip site's philosophy to a class of NYU students: "We're gonna cover Britney Spears the way David Gregory covers President Bush." A blogger called Connie has been inspired by such obsessive pursuit of trivial topics. In a post, yesterday, she applies TMZ's warts-and-all treatment to a Hollywood personality largely insulated from the attention of the gossip industry: Harvey Levin himself. Alec Baldwin, embarrassed by angry voicemails for his teenaged daughter that TMZ disseminated, outed Levin as gay last year. (Big deal: isn't every single gossip mogul?) Levin with lives with his boyfriend, a chiropracter, Dr. Andy Mauer. Sounds respectable, and dull. Except, as Connie helpfully points out, Dr. Andy has another qualification: huge muscles which won him spreads in physique magazines such as Muscle & Fitness, shown here; and chiropracter is often just a fancy word for masseur. Hot! (Background: here's an excellent profile of the Sultan of Sleaze, in Radar. And, after the jump, one of the television performances in which Levin, a failed actor, wrings his hands at the celebrity meltdowns from which he so profits.)
More »
