Because there's only one acceptable answer when your mean dad tries to get you to choose between mommy and Santa Claus.

This little girl, who's now destined for Ellen or something, was overcome with feelings watching the Chipettes (the '80s female version of Alvin and the Chipmunks) reunite a lost baby penguin with her family.

The AP reports that earlier this week a toddler in Oregon climbed into a Jeep, knocked it out of gear, and crashed it into someone's house. Don't worry, though—he got back home in time to watch cartoons.

2-year-old Kayden Elijah Kinckle was born with an omphalocele, a defect in his intestinal wall that caused his intestines and other organs to stick out through his navel. He also had "a band wrap around his legs and feet when he was in the womb," his mom writes, which led to the amputation of his right foot and left…

Drummer Brad Kuehner of Alabama rock band band Atticus Avenue recently worked some extra practice time into his schedule by giving his toddler son, Max, a "drum beatin'," using his back as an improvised drum kit.

A Chinese father is reportedly temporarily stuck in South Korea because his four-year-old son drew him an adorable picture—all over his passport. UPDATE 11:05 am: As Kotaku points out, there is evidence that this is probably a hoax.

A Phoenix man was arrested on child abuse charges after repeatedly throwing his 23-month-old daughter into a pool, in what he said was an attempt to teach her that water is dangerous.

When people talk about "childish delight," this is what they're referring to.

When Mark Blitch's four-year-old son Jackson heard "Say Something" by A Great Big World on the radio last week, he burst into tears. Concerned, Blitch offered to change the radio station, but Jackson wasn't upset; instead, he'd been moved by the "sad song" and let his dad know that he was okay by giving two thumbs up.

On Sunday, a Brooklyn gallery owner snapped this photo of two parents letting their toddler crawl all over a multi-million dollar sculpture by Donald Judd at London's Tate Modern museum.

Soon your little girl will be a full-grown adult, a worldly woman confronting some very difficult life decisions. Can she have it all? Is there a God? And what prefabricated sexy costume should she wear every Halloween?

In a round of awful, more-depressing-as-new-details-emerge news, a three-year-old boy — who recently survived a debilitating dog attack — is in critical but stable condition after someone shot him in the head while he slept last night in Brooklyn.

Since toddlers were first domesticated thousands of years ago, they have been prized for their sweet faces and their deadly skill in hand-to-hand combat. Now three daycare workers in Delaware have been arrested for giving toddlers a theater in which to hone their innate violent tendencies. Secret Toddler Fight Club is…

Arizona, the worst state in the country, is such a terrible place that even the two-year olds have turned to drink. When Valerie Marie Topete saw her two-year old son reaching for her pitcher of beer while the two were dining in a pizzeria in Phoenix, she did what any sane mother would do: she filled the toddler's…

Two six-year-olds and a three-year-old were caught robbing a house in Covington, La. over the weekend, thankfully stopping the would-be thieves at the start of, presumably, the most adorable crime wave known to man. Here's their haul:

A Texas woman had her car returned after it had been stolen because the thief wanted to scold her for leaving her toddler inside. He then ran away. There are worse people to take child-rearing advice from, I guess.

Do you have rhythm? Can you bust some moves on the dance floor? Well, so can this kid—and he's only three years old! Watch as this little tike moves brilliantly to Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" for a crowd.