Barack Obama, an "avowed" "loather of headwear," has finally displayed his true colors, and they're pretty pretty princess pink. For shame, Mr. President! For sha—awwwwwwwww.

TLC has started airing promos for its upcoming Toddlers & Tiaras spin-off, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. The show features T&T breakout/viral sensation Alana, whose "go go juice"-fueled antics include weird neck-rolling, teeth-sucking, affectedly muttered rambles that would read as "ghetto" and/or Southern stereotypes…

For last night's premiere of the fourth season of Toddlers & Tiaras, the series' breakout stars—Eden Wood and Makenzie—were set up to go head-to-head in an '80s-themed pageant, with lots of hoopla leading up to the actual event. The girls (ages 6 and 5, respectively) were flown out to L.A. to appear on Entertainment…

Grab yer spurs and saddles, kids! This finale-train is headed for the rodeo. All aboard!

This episode of Toddlers & Tiaras featured an unusually repulsive group of Moms and Dads. Between the mother cleaning septic tanks to pay for thousand dollar dresses or the disciple of Christ who loves "Jesus and glitz," tonight was one, hot mess.

After several cans of hairspray, canisters of lipstick and oh, eleven pixie sticks, glitzy glamour girl Cealy is mysteriously revved up and just not performing to her mother's expectations. Watch inside.

If you thought Toddlers and Tiaras was creepy just wait until you watch Little Eden singing "Cutie Patootie" on The Talk slowed down as if she's robotripping.

Child abuse infomercial Toddlers & Tiaras has outdone last week's episode—which featured a 2-year-old in a cone bra—by finding a pageant mom to force her screaming, begging, and crying 5-year-old to get her eyebrows waxed on television.

Last night's episode showed us that the tired expression, "beauty is pain," is still alive and well among beauty pageant contestants—and their mothers.

I'm torn on this new teaser for season three of Toddlers & Tiaras, which announces the return of Makenzie, a "diva" who is wonderful (and horrifying) television. Here, she is weirded out by doing her nails on "that show." Sadface?

Friday's Soup was an all-around impeccable episode, but the icing on its cake came in the form of Canada's favorite sons in the high fashion of a tiara-wearing toddler. Enjoy some fresh brain candy and jabs about Lady Gaga, inside.

Usually the pageant parents on Toddlers and Tiaras send me into a sixty minute long cringe-fest, but this clip featuring eight year old Haley and her dad doing a re-interpretation of the "Thriller" dance onstage is actually really heartwarming.

You know what every three year old needs? A weave, obviously! This is but universal truth in the Toddlers and Tiaras world, and in this clip three-year-old Kayleigh looks like she's having the (most painful) time of her life.

That's what happened after the cut to black! Well, it's what might happen to James Gandolfini anyway. Also today: A beloved actress departs Weeds, a new horror movie sounds truly horrific, children are ruined forever, and a Jesus cartoon.