Donald Trump May Pay Legal Fees for Man Who Sucker-Punched Protestor
Donald Trump, ever a font of wisdom, started off his Sunday with a doozy of a blanket statement: “I don’t accept responsibility.”
Dutch Stage Gigantic, Messy Tomato Fight to Protest Russian Sanctions
Dutch men and women threw a shit-ton of overripe tomatoes at each other in Amsterdam's central Dam square on Sunday, the AP reports, to protest against Russian sanctions blocking the import of European produce.
Does Anyone Know What the Hell Is Up With This Weird Tomato?
We cut open this tomato and it looked really weird.
Brits Chemically Engineer Purple Tomatoes, Just Like Willy Wonka Wanted
As news emerges that agribusiness giant Monsanto is attempting to "go organic" in search of the most delicious-tasting vegetable, British engineers are still at the lab, making an outright chemical mess with your salad ingredients.
Science Says Tomatoes Will Be Tastier in 5 Years; ‘Yeah Right, Like I Would Ever Eat a Tomato, What Is That, Even?’ Says America
Tomatoes, the disarmingly jolly cousins of the nightshade family, finally yielded the last of their secrets to us today, as scientists announced they had successfully decoded the tomato genome — marking the end of a nine-year undertaking.
I Threw a Tomato at a Girl as Part of a Promotional Event and I Liked It
[MTV UK staged a tomato fight in London between a Katy Perry "lookalike" and a Lady Gaga "lookalike" to promote the upcoming MTV Europe Music Awards. I know, I know: Europeans! Click for more. Photo via WENN.]
Cops Raid Middle School Looking for Weed, Find Tomatoes
Police in New Mexico raided a middle school and searched its on-campus greenhouse for marijuana. They even brought out their helicopter! What did they find? A bunch of tomato plants.
Must We Lose Our Tomatoes Before We Realize Democracy Is a Hollow Sham?
The Way We Live Now: Hoarding. We hoard tomatoes in a futile attempt to escape the looming tomato famine. We hoard pessimism. We hoard office knick-knicks because, hey, you can never have too many stress balls!
Who is the Hero Who Threw Tomatoes at Sarah Palin?
Currently, Jeremy Paul Olson languishes in a Minnesota jail for the crime of throwing tomatoes at Sarah Palin today. Although he missed Palin's face, Jeremy struck a chord strung through the center of our heart: Who are you, brave tomato-thrower?
Barack Obama Is Lying to You About His Puppy
We smelled a story when we read that Bo's favorite food is tomatoes, but we had no idea how deep it went. Not long after we started sniffing it out the whole tissue of lies unraveled.
Your Tomatoes May Kill You!
McDonald's has pulled all tomatoes out of its stores because of a DEADLY POISON salmonella scare! Winn-Dixie, Ralphs, Vons, and Albertsons supermarkets are pulling some tomatoes from their shelves! Taco Bell, Chipotle, and (a tipster says) Subway: pulling tomatoes! For your safety. Again: THE RAW RED TOMATOES IN…
