Gawker
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tomkat
Invasion Of The TomKat Snatchers
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes attended a cocktail party for the cast of the revival of All My Sons last night at Hermes's flagship store in New York, shocking fans and jaded paparazzi alike as they emerged from their limousine to reveal that the two had morphed into virtually the same person—a freak evolutionary byproduct of Cruise having spent every waking moment since May 2005 obsessively observing his wife for signs of resistance or flight. Granted, Holmes still enjoyed one distinguishing feature in her six-inch height differential, but that should even out in no time once the ancient Scientological practice of calf-binding completes its painful, appendage-condensing process. More » -
remainders
Remainders: Next Week's Gonna Be Even Slower?!
- The Coop, set to music. [DotComedy] More »
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Comment by muckpond: mike tyson a ho? why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free in a dark... more » | Other threads
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gossip roundup
Gossip Roundup: TomKat Will Make the Trains Run on Time
- Tom and Katie to marry in Mussolini's hideout. [China Daily] More »
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george michael
Gossip Roundup: Because He Got High
• George Michael gets so stoned that he stops his car in the middle of a North London intersection and slumps over. This, alas, leads to his arrest. Poor dude's just chilling a little bit, thinking about McDonald's...what's the big deal, man? [AP] More » -
sure
The Truth About Suri Cruise and the 'Vogue' Source Who Knows Her Well
If you're the type of person who's reading a website like this, there's a good chance you've already gotten an email forwarded to you explaining that the true father of Suri Cruise is actually Chris Klein. According to the email, which we've now had the pleasure of receiving 23 times (but please, don't stop!), the real story is that Katie Holmes was knocked up when the two broke their engagement, and so she quickly took Tom Cruise up on his "be my beard" deal. They acted like press-hungry idiots so everyone would believe they were so insane — er, in love — as to have a baby right away. Cruise gets his cover, Suri's not a bastard, and Katie doesn't look like a ho. The end. More » -
liza minnelli
Gossip Roundup: Liza's Valtrex With a 'V'
• Gays, hold on to your pants, because the ugly is about to get uglier: David Gest, estranged husband of Liza Minnelli, is requesting that the court disregard the duo's prenup, as Liza failed to disclose that she was a herpetic alcoholic with violence issues. Even more horrifying: this implies that Gest learned the truth once he got his own lesions, meaning the two actually slept together. Behold the miracles of science. [E!] More »
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By JessicaComment by sarahblooms: So what, Ashlee Simpson spent $11K in Barney's. That's two shirts, a purse, and a skirt on sale. $11K in Wal-Mart... more » | Other threads
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katie couric
Gawker's Week in Review: Yes, Suri, She's Going to Have a Rough Childhood
• After an extended period of darkness, 4-year-old Suri Cruise finally reveals herself to the world as a beautiful Asian-American. More »
647
By JessicaComment by chrissy2006: Such a great blog! Your write-ups surely are informative and interesting. In the case of Suri if indeed she will... more » | Other threads
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suri
Suri: The Critics React
Today's Times offers a sophisticated exegesis of the Suri Cruise Vanity Fair spread. Roving critic Caryn James starts by hitting all the usual notes ("What 5-month-old has a stylist? Or photos taken by Annie Leibovitz?" and "The extravagantly orchestrated photo shoot reveals a media circus masquerading as ordinary life, and speaks to the devil's bargain some celebrities make with the public.") But then things take a turn for the worse, as James criticizes Leibovitz's photography ("not her best," "pretty but ordinary") and exculpates the press ("No one really thought Suri was imaginary or some creature from another planet." Oh really?) and suggests that Tom get former publicist Pat Kingsley back (we're sure he's just been waiting for that advice from the Times.)
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suri
Remainders: Our Last Suri Mention of the Day. Exhale.
• Why does Suri Cruise look so freaking weird? Because she's everyone's baby, a child of the whole wide world. Makes you feel fuzzy, don't it? [Defamer] More » -
today show
Suri on 'Today': Photos from a Magazine on TV on the Internet
You think you've had enough Suri Cruise? We'll tell you when you've had enough Suri Cruise. Until then, you're the Internet's little p t goose getting force-fed Suri cornmeal until we've decided your liver is just succulent enough. Above is this morning's Suriana from the Today show (baby-wig-tip, Cityrag), with Vanity Fair's feetch editor Jane Sarkin glibbing it up with Matt Lauer on the whole photographic extravaganza. Sarkin knows how to bring both the bubbly and the serious, so sit back and watch how the pros do it, Janice Min.
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By Chris MohneyComment by pk: really well-thought use of high-five there, matt. not tacky at all. more » | Other threads
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katie couric
Katie Couric and Suri Cruise on 'Us Weekly Live'
We're still grappling with the enormity of it all, the overwhelming revelation of Suri Cruise's hair and the crushing reality of Katie Couric as an evening news anchor. It's hard not to be dizzy at such an exciting time as this. Nevertheless, in an effort to understand, let us all repeatedly study the most important 61 seconds in the history of the entire world, when a woman wearing white after Labor Day showed us pictures of TomKat's baby Bjork. More » -
suri
Suri: The Photo You Won't See in 'Vanity Fair'
We highly recommend you go buy your own copy of Vanity Fair; you will surely want to keep and frame the images within. Here at Gawker, however, we've been fortunate enough to obtain an original shot of the Cruise family, one untouched by the photo-editors at VF. Everything seems at once more and less confusing.
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suri
More Suri: "This Is Definitely Tom's Child"
"I think she has Tom's eyes. I think she looks like Tom." — Katie Holmes
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1,228
By abalk2Comment by joeymazoey: Fake baby or not, a family portrait by Annie Leibovitz and all I can see are Katie's hideous bangs... more » | Other threads
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suri
Today on 'Today': There Is a Suri, and She Is in 'Vanity Fair'
HOLYSHITDIDYOUHEAR? Today's spanking-new Vanity Fair is a glossy manger, cradling the messiah of celebrity journalism, adorable 2-year-old Suri Cruise. Vanity Fair features editor Jane Sarkin hit the Today show just now for the requisite scoopy plug, noting that she spent a full five days at the TomKat compound in Telluride and wasn't forced to take a single E-meter test. More importantly, the article and accompanying photos, which you've been waiting for since Katie Holmes first donned her $5 million prosthetic womb, constitute twenty-two fucking pages of the magazine — the most Vanity Fair has ever devoted to an Asian-American!
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856
By JessicaComment by AppalledByYou: Every single one of you need to get a life. You who have ANYthing negative to say about a... more » | Other threads
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affairs
Gossip Roundup: Kate Hudson Remembers She Has Husband
• Kate Hudson comes to her senses (maybe) and realizes that Owen Wilson (possibly) is not the most stable choice (on earth). But is she ready to go back to a life of picking food out of Chris Robinson's beard? [Us Weekly] More » -
tomkat
Someone Finally Decides to Stop Giving Tom Cruise Money
As you've no doubt heard by now, Paramount Pictures has ended its 14-year relationship with Tom Cruise, deciding not to renew the studio's deal with his Cruise/Wagner Productions (yes, this is more the left-coast beat, but we'd hate for you to be out of the loop during the staff lunch at Cosi). Cruise's partner Paula Wagner naturally claims that they chose to leave the lot, but Paramount's grandaddy, Viacom chairman Sumner Redstone, suggests that Paramount's decision might've had something to do with Cruise's insistence on acting like a total spazcock: More »
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By JessicaComment by Leon Freilich: HAIKU Television note: Tom Cruise to seek employment. "I Love Lucy" lead? more » | Other threads
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tomkat
Gossip Roundup: We've Always Depended on the Kindness of TomKat
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes — sans Suri, presumably — stop to assist a couple who had just gotten into a car accident. TomKat stayed with the victims and administered E-meter tests until the authorities arrived. [People] More » -
suri
Katie Holmes Photographed Holding Suri-esque Blob
Could it be? Do Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes actually have a young human life in their possession? According to the paparazzi at X17, this utterly indiscernable photo shows new mother and Scientology detainee Katie Holmes and baby Suri, a touching image captured by the journalists flying above in the X17 TomKat 'Copter. To be fair, Katie could just be playing with her Baby Think It OverTM doll — but then again, it's a little too late for that.
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suri
Gossip Roundup: 'Vanity Fair' Falls to Suri's Level
• Yes, Virginia, there is a Suri — and she's been photographed by Annie Liebovitz for Vanity Fair. We'd no idea Graydon was in the celebrity baby trade. Who are we kidding? The Scientologists totally paid him off to run a spread with a stuntbaby. [Page Six] More »
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By JessicaComment by Oh No I Di'n't.: Maybe she just took a picture of Tom Cruise. His smallish stature could easily be confused for that of Suri's. more » | Other threads
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suri
Suri Exists, at Least in Our Hearts in Minds
It's been a deafening three months since Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes first pretended to bring baby Suri into the world, and it's only in the latest issue of Us Weekly that anyone has come forward claiming have to seen the baby. Alas, it's not a trusted Us journalist like Alyssa Shelasky who can vouch for the baby's existence; rather, it's King of Queens actress and Scientologist Leah Remini who says she's seen the miracle child. She tells the magazine that she had contact with Suri several weeks ago and that the infant looked like "a cross between the two, [with] dark, straight hair and dark eyes." Right, right, but what else? Says Remini, Suri's "a newborn and normal size." More »
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By JessicaComment by toocheapfortherapy: I saw Suri last night and can confirm she exists. She is surprisingly verbal for her age. I heard her... more » | Other threads
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angelina jolie
Gossip Roundup: Angelina Jolie's Lips to Play Mariane Pearl
• Angelina Jolie has officially stolen Jennifer Aniston's Oscar vehicle. She'll play Mariane Pearl, the widow of murdered Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl — a role originally written for Aniston. Stolen manchild Brad Pitt will produce, then continue to scratch his ass. [Gatecrasher] More » -
suri
Gossip Roundup: Suri's Birth Certificate Does Not a Baby Make
• Suri Cruise does exist, or at least her birth certificate does. Though, strangely, it was issued 20 days after her birth (the hospital's policy is within 10 days of birth), the attendant who signed the certificate wasn't actually in the room during the birth and the person who signed as certifier is unknown, thanks to an illegible signature. How completely not suspicious. [TMZ] More »
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By JessicaComment by Bon Jour, Pee Wee: I read that too fast, and thought it said something the lines of Suri's death certificate doesn't prove baby exists.... more » | Other threads
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lindsay lohan
Gossip Roundup: Lindsay Lohan Makes Autistic Kids Cry
• Today in the Wasted Adventures of Lindsay Lohan: after her birthday party, Lohan passes out on the toilet, "loses her keys," leaves her car parked in front of a drop-off spot on Pacific Coast Highway, and, in the grand finale, autistic kids can't access the beach. [Page Six] More »
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By JessicaComment by HipsterPit: Let's be honest, here, though. Who HASN'T passed out on a toilet? See? The Stars ARE just like US! more » | Other threads
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star jones
Gossip Roundup: Star Jones' Much-Needed Farewell
• More confirmation on yesterday's rumor that Star Jones is on her way out at The View — she's got no new gigs lined up (shock), producers had been looking to give her the boot since the wedding freebies fiasco last fall (double shock), but Barbara Walters kept Jones around out of pity (unfuckingbelievable). The arrival of Rosie O'Donnell, however, sealed the deal, and Jones is off like an plus-sized prom dress. [Fox411] More » -
britney spears
Gossip Roundup: Getting to Know the Manny
• Britney's manny — revealed! The ginger gentleman is 28-year-old Naval Academy grad Perry Taylor, who's really just one of Britney's bodyguards. Nowadays, that obviously means guarding her baby's body, too. [TMZ] More » -
brangelina
Gossip Roundup: Brad Pitt Thinks Helmets Are for Pussies
• Parenting groups zone in on Brad Pitt, who's spotted taking a bike ride in Namibia with a helmet-less baby Zahara riding in a blue papoose strapped around him. Britney Spears is thrilled. [R&M] More »
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By JessicaComment by SecureLocation: For the last time: You do not need a good reason to smack Axl Rose. The fact that he's Axl... more » | Other threads
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esquire
Gossip Roundup: TomKat Not Long for This World?
• You may find this hard to believe, but Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes likely have no plans to marry. They do, of course, have plans to endure one another for the proper amount of time before he abruptly dumps her and she tries save her career. But let's be clear: Joey Potter is no Kidman. [Awful Truth] More »
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By JessicaComment by Sue Duhnim: On every program on which Tom has appeared, he constantly says, "I can't wait to marry Kate, she's an amazing... more » | Other threads
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tomkat
Remainders: 'New Yorker' Intellectualizes Tom Cruise
• "His ability to remain totally upright when sprinting, as if carrying an invisible egg and spoon—what are these, if not the techniques of an alien life force who has just graduated summa cum laude in advanced human behavior?" Tom Cruise, watch out — the New Yorker is onto you, and Sy Hersh might be looking for a new beat. [NYer] More » -
jonathan cheban
Gossip Roundup: Three TomKat Items for the Price of One
• Red-carpet watchers spend far too long studying pictures of TomKat and conclude that Cruise has started wearing lifts too appear less Lilliputian. Developing... [Lowdown] More »
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By JessicaComment by Sue Duhnim: So true, sooooo true about Kimora Lee and Russell Simmons. I just saw them "together" at an event last... more » | Other threads
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scarlett johansson
Remainders: Please Don't 'Harrass' Scarlett Johansson
• NB to Scarlett Johansson: You're ours, bitch. You're just pretty property of the paparazzi. If you continue to fight it, you'll only continue to embarrass yourself. [Gilded Moose] More »
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By JessicaComment by amillionpieces: I'm sure I could get used to being harassed by photographers for the money she gets for movies. Harass... more » | Other threads
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tom cruise
We Remember the Old Days, Tom Was Beautiful Then
After yesterday's excitement of having TOM CRUISE (SO AWESOME!) unleashed and set loose in Manhattan, everything today seems soul-crushingly lackluster. For nostalgia's sake, Best Week Ever has a video of a special Cruise moment; watching it makes one realize that as much as we might miss him, we bet he misses our firefighters even more. More » -
tom cruise
Remainders: All Cruise, All the Time
• OH MY GOD IT'S SO FUCKING AMAZING OH YEAH TOM CRUISE! You, too, can experience the joy of Tom, by watching the live webcast of him walking into the movie theater at 7pm. [Yahoo] More »
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By JessicaComment by SecureLocation: Why is Bonnie Fuller wearing one of those $17.99 house dresses they sell in the back of Parade magazine? more » | Other threads
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tom cruise
Tom Cruise Is So Fucking Sweet
Look! There he is! In Times Square! Outside TRL! He's so hot! So awesome! So hip! So masculine! Look at how fast he moves! His movie is gonna rock! -
tom cruise
Tom Cruise Invasion of Manhattan Continues
Brave Gawker readers continue to stalk Tom Cruise's cruisazy train through Manhattan. Here, Maverick signs autographs outside the Ed Sullivan Theater last night on the way in for his Letterman taping. And, to be honest, we barely recognize the guy anymore without Katie Holmes affixed to him. Weird. More » -
tomkat
Tom Cruise Day Comes to New York
Oh, glorious days of days! The sun fittingly shines upon our fair city in honor of movie god and new "father" Tom Cruise, who comes to Manhattan today to promote Mission: Impossible 3. A devoted Scientologist and/or reader scored a picture of Tom on his way in to Good Morning America, which kicks off a day of gallavanting about the island, via every possible mode of transportation, for three separate screenings of his film. More »
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By JessicaComment by Bubba Barney: 'The idea that psychiatric disorders like anxiety disorders, depression, bipolar disorder, ADD/ADHD etc. are not biological and do not involve... more » | Other threads
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tomkat
Tom Cruise's NYC Itinerary
Like it or not, Tom Cruise is riding his fucked-up crazy train into Manhattan next Wednesday to promote his newborn baby, Mission: Impossible 3. But because life moves at the speed of Cruise, he'll be racing between his gajillion screenings and appearances by helicopter, speedboat, Porsche, and private subway car. Promotional intensity, people: the Cruise ain't on no leisure cruise. More »
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By JessicaComment by grandenchilada: Can we like, put a fatwa on Tom Cruise? I can't stand it anymore. more » | Other threads
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tomkat
Suri Cruise, the World's Most Unloved Child
Though it would seem that the world has finally come to terms with the fact that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes managed to orchestrate some sort of birth, there's still much confusion over the origins over their new daughter's name, Suri. Cruise's spokesperson has said that the name Suri has origins in ancient Hebrew as a variation on Sarah (hence the Kabbalah explanation), but its direct Hebrew meaning is less complicated: More »
2,586
By JessicaComment by The Reeler: Cindy Adams knows what time it is: "[T]his Cruise kid's name. Suri. ... I know this seems purely coincidental .... more » | Other threads
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ron burkle
Gossip Roundup: Ron Burkle Returns to Page Six
• After a few week or so of silence, Page Six makes a tiny jab back at billionaire Ron Burkle, noting that he "carefully avoided" sitting next to any models at Lionel Richie's concert the other night. Somewhere, a California supermarket spontaneously bursts into flames. [Page Six] More »
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By JessicaComment by Bubba Barney: Katie's not a virgin. She dated Chris Klein, and he's kind of a jerk. According to that interview he did... more » | Other threads
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metro
Remainders: Yeah, it Sucks Here — You Should Go
• The state of New York is the nation's leader in migration outflow, losing an average of 182,886 people per year; metropolitan New York area is also up there, averaging 211,014 people yearly. You know what? Good! Get the hell out of here! But it's not like a mass fucking exodus will burst the housing bubble. Only seven or eight apocalyptic horsemen can do that. [NY Sun] More » -
tomkat
Gossip Roundup: Silent Birth, Courtesy of Painkillers
• More on the mysterious, disturbing birth of Suri Cruise: the baby was born at St. John's hospital in Santa Monica, and the family left just 12 hours later with a slew of decoy cars. Tom shut up Katie with a nice shot of the good stuff (an "epidermal shot," it's reported); the star is allegedly being asked to now hand over videos of the birth to Scientology elders, who will watch the footage over a nice tin of JiffyPop. [NYP] More »
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By JessicaComment by RonMwangaguhunga: Explosive, yes. Unfortunately, like the Big Bang (pun intended), it occurs quite early. more » | Other threads
tomkat
New York, 3:36 PM
Sat Jul 11
36 posts in the last 24 hours
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